Cheney Suffering From Goldilocks Syndrome


Dick Cheney, Vice Chancellor of the ever-shrinking neo-con brand, is having a terribly hard time trying to sort out whether President Obama is weak or tyrannical or both while the rest of us puzzle over why any sane person is chasing his opinion.

It’s certainly not as if Cheney has a particularly illustrious background as a statesman and it certainly can’t be his dedication to the truth, governmental ideals or constitutional law that inform his perceptions of how everyone else is doing in office.  Certainly he can’t think that his term in the White House could ever serve as any sort of standard for future administrations?

This is a man who told us:  “I think Barack Obama is a one-term President;”  and, in regard to the invasion of Iraq, “My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.”

So it can’t be his remarkable perspicacity that induces news outlets to continue to drink from this particular poisoned well.  Maybe it’s as simple as the fact that Dick Cheney is a living caricature and, in show biz, villains get as much of a rise out of audiences as heroes.  Or maybe the GOP is trying to make a sentimental appeal to the “Do You Miss Me Yet” members of the Bush Brigade.

I know that Lynne Cheney is hyping her book but, really, Mrs. Cheney if you want those books to sell, dragging Dick out of hibernation doesn’t seem like a very savvy marketing plan.

Oh well, it doesn’t really matter why we’re still seeing Cheney’s face in the news.  But, if I were, say, Reince Priebus, I wouldn’t be clicking my heels over it.  One thing that has become clearer and clearer, as the Obama presidency goes on, is that hate and fear and cultural divisiveness make for pretty confusing assessments.  And, since it is the Republican Party that is serving up this ridiculous hash they are the ones who are coming across as confused and disjointed.

The whole Goldilocks approach that Republicans have taken toward Obama—is he too weak? is he too dictatorial? does he try to do to much? or not enough? is he too aggressive? or not aggressive enough?—is a very weak political strategy.  It doesn’t create a strong lasting image that voters can get sign on to.  It’s vague and blurry and provides only negative energy but more importantly, it will mobilize only a small fraction of rabid anti-Obama base and they probably don’t require any mobilization.

Americans are results oriented and they don’t generally mistake obstruction for action.  So.  Who has accomplished anything over the last 6 years?  The Do-Nothing Congress with a 9% approval rating? or the President who, despite having to fight relentless headwinds has: eliminated Osama bin Laden, ended two wars, lowered the deficit to record levels, reduced unemployment, reinvigorated the economy, while facing down idiots who believe that government shutdowns are a viable political strategy, to say nothing of saving the American auto industry, and substantially improving health care options for all Americans.

Come on, GOP, surely you can do better than the Goldilocks Stratergy.

Posted by Bette Noir on 05/20/14 at 09:38 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersOur Stupid Media

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“Dick?” Lynne said, and pointed at her teeth. “mrhmmhmmSorry”, as he picked a piece of gristle from his teeth. What the hell? he thought, the girl had been locked in a tower, how did she get so stringy?

Making a note to have the cook waterboarded, he walked over to Lynne, growling “I really don’t want to go on this tour - that wheelchair gives me hemorhroids, and Liz wants me to campaign for her for the Samoa thing, and Wolf Blitzer did a poor job on me last time, teethmarks didn’t go away for a month. Fuckin’ furry. And by the way, isn’t that your job, at least once in a while, you’ve written some hellacious fellatious scenes, I had a whole afternoon of that idiot, George’s kid, asking me to define stuff and then that stepford bitch Laura tried to slap me. I still think she’s a virgin, prude nutcase, and I have a recipe I want to try!”

DICK, SIT DOWN!! You know how hard these hearts are to get, don’t blow out another! Now, this book is about James Madison, you don’t even have to talk about the book. Just go out there and be my winning little soldier, ohhh”, pinching his cheeks, “you’d have been a wonderful soldier, probably a general by now, pookums. But, you are coming with. Just talk about the lawn jockey, have some fun, relax-x-x-x. And maybe we’ll write another chapter toni-i-i-i-ght.” Trailing her finger down his chest, she sauntered out of the room.

“Can we have baked alaskan? One of that trailer twat’s moron spawn must still have an intact hymen!”

Drifting in from the other room, “We’ll se-e-e-e…”

Barking happily, he ran to the closet and that damnable wheelchair…

(The previous has been a production of the worst impulses of humanity, and we should take off and nuke the planet from orbit, just to be sure.)
(BTW, you’re welcome. Brain bleach is not strong enough.)

I know you’ve got a job Mrs. Cheney
but, your husband’s heart-problem is comp-li-ca-tin

That Dick Cheney is still alive is the BEST evidence that a Single Payer Public Option needs to be available to the American People. Without access to Government supplied Health Care Dick Cheney would’ve been dead years ago.

I was never one to accuse Re-pig-lickin’s of having morals, integrity, or intelligence.  I don’t know anyone who has.

When ever I see Mr. Snarlsalot, I know to my core that he is the true, evil leader of the neocons.  Biology should have done us a solid years ago and rejected every artificial thing they’ve packed into that guy.

Aw, deep down, Cheney is a big ol’ softie. I mean just look at how willing he was as a Congressman to forgive Reagan for selling missiles to Iran.

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