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Charlie Sheen shares a number of characteristics with the common house cat. Both creatures are attractive, don’t always relieve themselves in the appropriate receptacle and will give you massive amounts of attitude before, during and after they wreck up your shit. Remorse is not in them; That would mean less room for the crazy.*
Sadly, mankind has been deprived of a total melding of the Felix Domesticus/Sheen experience.
* Yes, I own cats. No, I don’t know why. Yes, I am afraid they’ll read this and harm me.