Conservapedia Rides to Paul Revere’s Rescue

Conservapedia, an online repository of the scientific and historical archives of Counter-Earth, has a very brief entry that seems to support Sarah Palin’s whimsical retconning of the Midnight Ride:

Paul Revere (1734-1818) was a silversmith in colonial America who was very active in Boston-area revolutionary groups such as the Sons of Liberty. He is famous for riding from Boston to Lexington, Massachusetts with William Dawes on the night of April 18, 1775 to warn the minutemen that British troops led by General Thomas Gage were invading. Part of the purpose of the ride was to warn the British that colonists would exercise their gun rights. Revere was captured before he could reach Concord, but managed to escape. His midnight ride was immortalized by a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.[1]

As is often the case with Wiki-style collaborative projects, however, the truly illuminating nugget of scholarship here was supplied by a lone Public Editor:

Actually, Revere was captured early on. Other riders sent out the warning, but Revere had a name that was easy to rhyme. Czolgolz 14:21, 17 April 2007 (EDT)

Meanwhile, as YAFB noted on an earlier thread, Palin supporters have launched a concerted assault on the Wikipedia write-up for Paul Revere, and hilarity ensues.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/05/11 at 10:03 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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I see that Palin has found the key to The Wire, you remember, when Bodie an’ dem would alert the police that they were going to sling some crack and FUCK DA PO-LEECE!

Too many Russian names, widdout da ess

Incidentally, Paul Revere was able to escape the British patrol by duping them into playing a nonsense card game called “Fizbin.”

Damn, Homes, youz can fix you’re-en, but not mine? Fuck Pittsburgh, it aint real Pennsylvania anyways.

“Part of the purpose of the ride was to warn the British that colonists would exercise their gun rights.”

Pretty neat trick, considering the Bill of Rights wouldn’t be written for another 14 years.

youz can fix you’re-en, but not mine?

Happy now?

Pretty neat trick, considering the Bill of Rights wouldn’t be written for another 14 years.

I have a feeling that line didn’t appear in the entry until yesterday. ;->

Now the goddamn Russian reference makes no sense! Sweet Jesus wielding a cocktail while Molotov trains the Minutemen, but I swear Grover Washington Jr. will make this a battle between just the two of us! At Brandywine!

Do you want me to put the “s” back? In or out, dude, in or out?

I’m shocked to see that conservapedia neglected to mention his excellent line of cookware.
~

(heh, ummm ... yeah, and while you’re up, check that ummm ... anyone wanna smoke a joint?

Part of the purpose of the ride was to warn the British that colonists would exercise their gun rights

Um. Wouldn’t that kind of sort of make Paul Revere, an, um, um,

Traitor?

Because rewriting history is as easy as vandalizing wikipedia.

Well, I suppose it’s one of the better uses of their time.

This is hilarious. Just out of curiosity, I visited that Conservapedia page a few hours ago and that edit wasn’t there at the time (I didn’t bother screencapping as the dump seemed so moribund).

Note [1]? Sure enough, it links to the NYT article quoting Palin.

She missed a trick by not citing Israel Bissell and linking him to her Middle East fetish. She was probably thinking of him when she mentioned the bells etc. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention in class.

Oh, here’s the Wayback Machine version of the article from January 2009 (only archive of the page it has):

Paul Revere

Paul Revere (1734-1818) was a silversmith in colonial America who was very active in Boston-area revolutionary groups such as the Sons of Liberty. He is famous for riding from Boston to Lexington, Massachusetts with William Dawes on the night of April 18, 1775 to warn the minutemen that British troops led by General Thomas Gage were invading. Revere was captured before he could reach Concord, but managed to escape. His midnight ride was immortalized by a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.[1]
References

1. ↑ Paul Revere

Bravo, Brit! Looks like that sentence was a rather late accretion.

I hope you folks have every library and archive in the country under surveillance right now. Overnight, gangs of masked Palinites may be breaking in and cutting and pasting to save their lives.

And it looks like the current article has been tinkered with even since you copied it for this post. There’s an extra reference now:

Part of the purpose of Revere’s ride was to warn the British that colonists would exercise their natural right to bear arms. [1] Revere was captured before he could reach Concord, but managed to escape. His midnight ride was immortalized by a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.[2]
References

  1. ↑ [1]
  2. ↑ Paul Revere

That change didn’t last long, Brit.

Actually, we can track the changes by looking at their Revision History: the page saw some activity up to March 8 2009, then nothing till ... June 5 2011, when all hell breaks loose.

The first recent revision was made by user Sehja at 15:56 on June 5 June 2011:

Paul Revere’‘’ (1734-1818) was a silversmith in colonial America who was very active in [[Boston]]-area revolutionary groups such as the [[Sons of Liberty]]. He is famous for riding from Boston to Lexington, [[Massachusetts]] with [[William Dawes]] on the night of April 18, 1775 to warn the [[minutemen]] that [[British]] troops led by General Thomas Gage were invading. Part of the purpose of Revere’s ride was to warn the British that colonists would exercise their natural right to bear arms. Revere was captured before he could reach [[Concord]], but managed to escape.  His midnight ride was immortalized by a poem by [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]].<ref>[http://darter.ocps.net/classroom/re volution/revere.htm Paul Revere]</ref>

They then tinkered with it a bit, and probably still are.

Heh—they’re wildly kerning the entry even as we watch. Check the “History” tab.

Yeah, what YOU said.

Also. You got off lightly. It looks like Sehja wanted to add this:

In 2011, during a cross country tour to warn Americans against the dangers of [[liberalism]], [[Sarah Palin]] clarified the purpose of Paul Reveres’ midnight ride to include warning the [[British]] that they could not take American’s guns away. Although a controversial view, [[Sarah Palin]] successfully positioned herself to be viewed as a modern day [[Paul Revere]], warning the liberals in power who clearly want to take lawful guns away from Americans.

That change didn’t last long, Brit.

That’s because of this:

23:40, 5 June 2011 Jpatt (Talk | contribs) (890 bytes) (Undo revision 876000 : Citation not needed. It can go on Palin’s page if you want.)

PMSL

BTW: Apparently, LGF has been on top of this for several hours. I shoulda knowed.

Well, be a good host and welcome the folks from Memeorandum. ;)

Hahaha, it’s like Team $arah bought out the entire inventory of Crrayzee Johnny Tolkien’s Emporium of Used & Refurbished Orcs, and released them on the intertubes.

You kids be careful, lest you pick up an infection.

So send special forces?

Comment by StarStorm on 06/06/11 at 04:14 AM

Palin worshipers are even weirder than Bush worshipers. At least Bush was actually president and actually had some governmental powers, so you could kinda excuse it because they were authority worshipers. But Palin really doesn’t have anything—no political office, no IQ, no power outside of what the media grants her. It’d be like if the Baptists decided to start worshiping Scrappy Doo and basing their lives around his teachings…

It’d be like if the Baptists decided to start worshiping Scrappy Doo and basing their lives around his teachings…

LULZ!

I just heard a Palin/Revere joke on ESPN’s ‘Mike And Mike In The Morning’ show.  Since they never do politics, I’d say that’s a sign the Palinites have already lost this one.

Wait a minute… Lexington, Massachusetts?  It’s New Hampshire. [1]

1.  Bachmann M.  Scaring the locals in the granite stateJ Talking Outta My Backside, 2011.

Comment by seablue on 06/06/11 at 07:09 AM

It’d be like if the Baptists decided to start worshiping Scrappy Doo and basing their lives around his teachings…

That would be an improvement.  He’s got puppy power!
~

I’m shocked to see that conservapedia neglected to mention his excellent line of cookware.

Or his band.

Love this from the wikipedia discussion page:
“Sarah Palin’s army needs to go away”

Indeed.

Or his band.

Snappy dressers!
~

Paul Revere and the Raiders successfully repelled Eric Burdon and the Animals.

Well, almost.

Mark Lindsay composed the soundtrack for Samurai Assassin.

How many martial arts cult movies did Eric Burdon score, hmmm? None, that’s how many.

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