Dammit, Winkerbelle, How Hard Do We Have To Clap!

No, Winkerbelle, Nooooooo!!!
She’s gone, Palinistas. The first 24 hours are the hardest. But if Elizabeth Kübler-Ross had been able to observe the Paliosphere, she’d have concieved of grief not as five stages, but as a 24-frames per second cartoon:

Sarah Palin - everyone has family, that is what Secret Service is for.  You are our leader - get up and
start leading.  You do need the title.

We will just pretend you had your fingers crossed and it was opposite day!

Now is your time.  Stop messing around and save the world.

Please, I beg of you!

Carol Haka

cheers2all 7 hours ago
Has anyone listened to Tammy Bruce about this? I wonder what she thinks beyond being shocked at the decision.

Funny you should mention that, cheers2all:


Why Tammy Bruce! How could you possibly believe the Flock Teaser (H/T Mr. P) might have had venal mot—


Oh. Good point.

The Sarahmaniacs’ sites have filled with deliciously evil snarkbombs, (Hello, Tom!), but longtime Palinophiles like Greg here are genuinely frosted:

Greg Legakis 10 hours ago in reply to Tim Lenox
How about we get some answers first?  Why did she do everything she did over the summer and Iowa and NH only to just give an unemotional, “I’m not running,” on a radio show out of the blue.

I’m not as worked up about her not running because I wasn’t going to commit emotionally until she was officially in.  Her body language told me months ago that it was doubtful, but like so many I held out hope.

Okay she’s not running.  But why the long delay in telling her millions of diehard supporters.

She may not be what the left portrays her to be but this type of behavior doesn’t help to assuage that belief.  She absolutely has to show some true emotion and appreciation for all the effort that was put in on her behalf.

And again, we need an explanation for all the theatrics leading up to the big “NO.”

cheers2all 10 hours ago in reply to 1_Explorer_1
I don’t think I will wait for her anymore. I gave her 3 years, and she blew it. I would have given her the benefit of the doubt if she didn’t do what she did all summer up to yesterday.

Political cheerleaders don’t resonate with me.

Perhaps they don’t resonate with you, cheers2, but a part of your coterie of supporters desperately seeking resonance from the Alaskan Grackle will never settle for “Nevermore!”.

Comedy writers especially.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/07/11 at 07:43 AM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesKnee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryPUMAsSkull Hampers

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Looking on the bright side for the Palinistas , if they can delude themselves into thinking that Sarah is qualified to be president to the point that they sent her their grocery money , they shouldn’t have any problem convincing themselves that the cat food they’re about to eat for dinner is really Pate Maison.

But if Elizabeth Kübler-Ross had been able to observe the Paliosphere, she’d have concieved of grief not as five stages, but as a 24-frames per second cartoon

Damn. I love the smell of snark in the morning.

“Draft Sarah” movements are now being organized, on the assumption that a petition drive will restore the fire in her belly, where 3 million Facebook fans and a bevy of dedicated Snooki4Prez blogs couldn’t.

Eventually, this will devolve into a kind of Ghost Dance Religion, the same way it did with the Hillary holdouts.

I just hope Xenu Xarah will call them all home to live on Comet Shill-Bopped as quickly as possible…

“Haka.” Where have I heard that before? Once again I am astounded at how many of the PUMA chumps seamlessly transferred their allegiance from the smart, complex and competent Democratic Secretary of State to the braying, empty-headed GOP celebritician Sarah Palin. Secretary Clinton deserved SO much better! I’m glad there’s almost zero chance that she’s aware of the phenomenon.

Regarding Tammy Bruce’s tweet—oooo suh-nap! If I were immortal and wealthy beyond measure, I’d allocate some time to listen to Bruce’s joint podcast with that Jedididuhdilia Gila Monster person to experience a level of schadenfreude I haven’t enjoyed since aught-eight. But alas, I am neither, and there are bills to pay. So adieu, PaLUMAs!

Have I mentioned lately that if I caught a Republican looking at my sister, I would shoot him? Well, here’s one more reason why:

Her body language told me months ago that it was doubtful, but like so many I held out hope.

HTP, I’ve noticed lately that “body language” is a big article of faith with nutters across the spectrum. I was reading up on the guys who were released in the West Memphis 3 fiasco (saw both Paradise Lost docs again a couple weeks ago after the Troy Davis tragedy—I honestly think I’m ready to switch careers and be a full-on prisoners’ rights and anti-death penalty activist), and on every message board, some idiot blithers about “Of course they’re guilty, look at their BODY LANGUAGE when they’re on camera!”

Because you know, the fact that there is absolutely NO DNA or other physical evidence linking them to the crime and that almost anyone with more than two brain cells who has looked at the case knows they were railroaded doesn’t mean shit compared to the fact that a guy who spent 18 years on Death Row—10 of them in solitary confinement—doesn’t seem totally relaxed and comfortable in the public glare.

And Mrs. Polly, thanks for re-directing my attention to the earlier Palin thread—otherwise, I would have missed some weapons-grade snark unleashed on poor lil “conservative teacher.”

Body language is indeed important to our brethren on the right.  See “Craig, Larry” and “Wide Stance.”

Well, when Palin’s lost John Ziegler, you know for sure she is indeed a loser:

Dear Governor Palin:

Wow. So, is this really how your political saga is going end? By letting down your remaining supporters and telling them, with a straight face, that you can do more to impact change as a Fox News Contributor than you can as President of the United States?

I was almost positive you would run because it appeared that your brand demanded it from a career maintenance perspective. I had even written a long letter blasting you for being either selfish or delusional in making a decision to run which could help President Obama get reelected. While I applaud you for making the right decision, thanks to the way you made it, I must also question your real rationale.

One of the many reasons (other than the conversation I had earlier this year with Todd about working on your campaign) I was so sure you would give it a shot was that I figured you were way too smart to go this far with a blatant tease without a legitimate exit explanation.

While you have used the “I don’t need a title to impact change” line before (to justify your politically inexplicable resignation as governor of Alaska), I never figured you would actually try to float that as a last minute reason for not pursuing the most important job in the world. It is hard to believe that even the most crazed of your fans will buy that, but I am sure at least some of the remaining lemmings will.

He never really loved her. There’s a lot more vitriol at the link.

It just occurred to me that Sarah’s “I don’t need a title” line is lifted from Di’s whole “I want to be a queen of people’s hearts” spiel.

And YAFB, that Ziegler screed may be the saddest “I can’t BELIEVE I used to go out with you!” missive in recorded history.

Also, the banner ad at the top of this post is for “Depression Counseling.” Which is just made of all kinds of awesome. Too.

All praise to Jon Stewart for digging up this June 28 exchange between Brian Kilmeade and Bristol Palin on Fox News (where else?):

KILMEADE: Do you get the sense that your mom has not made up her mind yet, or do you think she knows and hasn’t told us?

BRISTOL: You know, she definitely knows, um, we’ve talked about it before, but, um, some things just need to stay in the family.


Have pity on the body language readers.  After years of squinting and squirming, trying to understand Palin’s English, body language is all they’re capable of comprehending.

body language is all they’re capable of comprehending.

And as in all things, they suck mightly at that. Also too.

More solid gold from J.Z.:

After all, if you didn’t think you deserved extraordinary consideration, you would never have had the audacity to even float the idea of a presidential run after resigning office in a way that was clearly designed to get rich and stay famous.

Yeah, he saw through the whole time. He just kept slobbering over her because he felt sorry for her.

All the body language talk is probably the result of Falafel O’Reilly having a “body language expert” on his ninny-fest once a wk.

Winkerbelle - LOL.

Will this be the ending of The $aga of $arah or is the epilogue still to come?  Stay tooned!

Ziegler’s open letter is one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I’ve read in a long time.

Why oh why would La Palina string us on like that if she didn’t mean it?  I mean, I can’t think of a single reason why she would do that!

Asiangrrl, I’m not sure I understand where you’re coming from.

Comment by Oblomova on 10/07/11 at 03:40 PM

Wait, I think I’m getting it now

Mrs. P, I apologize for not saying this sooner, but you truly outdid yourself with the Blingee here.

asiangrrlMN, that last one is completely inappropriate and you know it.

But it’s fair to say $arah is in the pink, no matter what her disciples may think.

Palin says she says she turned to the Lord to help guide her decision, but bowed out when the machine kept picking up.

Thank God her calls kept getting dropped

The quote is courtesy of C&J on Daily Kos (I know, I know! But I still like to check out their Palin snark)

HTP, I know.  I was having a brain fart and just threw that one out there ‘coz it had money in the title.

Your song moar better, HTP.

I figured you were way too smart to go this far with a blatant tease without a legitimate exit explanation.

It’s okay, li’l Ziggy.  I know you miss her, but Sarah’s gone to a better place: demagogue heaven, where sausage links grow on trees and everywhere you turn there is a new butt to sniff.  Or maybe that’s doggie heaven.  But in any case, I’m sure she’ll be fine—you can’t keep a good ‘gogue down!

I know you miss her, but Sarah’s gone to a better place: demagogue heaven, where sausage links grow on trees and everywhere you turn there is a new butt to sniff.

Who knew there were trolls under the Rainbow Bridge?

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