Dana Perino is the new Rosa Parks

Fox News personalities know race-baiting. They have much to share with us about the practice.

But the wellspring of their vast knowledge on the topic may surprise you: It’s not that they’re employed by an outfit that is on pace to shatter the combined career race-baiting records of Jesse Helms and George Wallace in a single election season.

Rather, it is rooted in their experience as pasty Republicans in the fists of an uppity black dude:

See, if you drive a car into a ditch and then don’t help put it back on the road, you’re still entitled to drive or ride shotgun. And everyone knows “middle-class” is code for “blackity black,” so Barack Obama was basically saying The New Black Panthers get to ride in the front seat while he drives and Dana Parino, Sean Hannity, Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy and the Terrorist Fist Bump Lady all have to sit in the “White-Colored Only” section of the car-bus.

It’s an outrage. But they shall overcome. Someday.

[H/T: TPM]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/28/10 at 10:22 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

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Tell you what, Fox Fun Bunch… whoever wins the Quiet Game can ride in the front, on the hump, on the way back home from the Economy Metaphor Store.

Megyn, honey, you don’t have to hold your breath.  The whistle you make when you breathe doesn’t count.

Megyn?  It’s okay to breathe.  Go ahead, now.

Shit, she’s forgotten again.  Shep, clap her on the back, would you please, dear?

I have a dream that one day white people will ride in the front seat and it will be black folks’ turn to sit in the back seat a la that poor Miss Daisy.  Keep your eyes on the prize, everyone.  We shall overcome.

That’s really lame, even by Faux standards. But hey, gotta keep that White Resentment a perking and the audience has been reduced to: People so stupid Faux has to spell out, very carefully, exactly why they’re OUTRAGED and those who tune in to laugh and point.

Who’s the English guy?  His accent reminds me uncannily of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.  I live in the UK, and I have never heard anything like it, it just sounds so kitsch.

Pardon, Mr. Hannity, which seat is for the Baby Mamas, please?


Aha, that’s Stu Varney.  That peculiar accent you detect is 50% Derbyshire dorky and 50% Jersey jerky, fine-tuned by Fox’s crack linguists to project “authoritative British econ wonk” to typical Fox viewers.  It has the unfortunate side-effect of annoying actual Britons (and all other Americans), but Rupert said it sounded spot on, so there ya go.

From what I’m reading in the blogosphere and Twitterverse, Christine O’Donnell is the new Anita Hill.

Liberals and progressives are outraged that Gawker would print a tawdry tale of awkward non-coitus and unkempt ladybits and predicting she’ll be swept into office on a wave of outraged feminist votes.

I’m trying to remember who it was who made a political and social issue out of her chastity, while simultaneously smearing every male opponent with allegations of homosexual dalliances and innuendo about their personal lives. 

But right now I’m clutching my pearls so tight they’re cutting off the oxygen flow to my brain.

OT: Hillbuzz has an open letter to Rush Limbaugh.  How can hilarity fail to ensue?

Comment by TomHilton on 10/28/10 at 04:09 PM

OT: Hillbuzz has an open letter to Rush Limbaugh.  How can hilarity fail to ensue?

Good. Lord. I enjoy the quasi-schizophrenic ramblings of attention starved loons as much as the next chap, but there are limits.

GLEEEE!  Madness on the interwebs!  Roy documents Hillbuzz getting its first chilly hug from a righty blog of similar intellectual heft.

HillBuzz: So, you hate Obama and the Democrats, right?

WizBang: Sure. But, you’re saying you do, too?

HillBuzz: Oh, yeah. We are powerful and angry.

WizBang: Really. We’re powerful and angry, too!

Together: SUPER TEAM-UP, GO!

Each, to self: Mwahahaha. Sucker.

Comment by Lowkey on 10/28/10 at 04:52 PM

@Lowkey, I like your figurative tableau there.  Is there anyone outside of the Fox News bubble who doesn’t interpret Obama’s metaphor that way??  Are they so not self-aware that they don’t see how they’re just adding more fodder for Obama to riff on?

I’m endlessly perplexed by Fox News Channel’s willingness to look cartoonish to everybody but their loyal fans.  What am I missing?

@Kitty: A soft spot on your temporal lobe.

What am I missing?

A grudge the size of Texas against EVERYTHING.

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