Dear Ignorant Liberals

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Ross stopped by this morning at one of Noah’s posts from Monday and he would like you to know something:

The Democrats seem to fear Mitt Romney, which is why all the ignorant liberals posting on this forum are running scared. Mitt Romney will win the GOP nomination, and will decimate Obama in the general election in 2012.
Mitt Romney understands economics, and has been a succssful business man, which is more than what I can say for Obama.
The USA has been, and always will be a CONSERVATIVE nation.
MITT ROMNEY 2012
Comment by Ross on 12/13/08 at 06:15 AM

DECIMATES AWAITS! THE MITTENS HAUNTZ AND LOOMZ! THE FOLLICLES! FEAR THE FOLLICLES!

 

Posted by Kevin K. on 12/13/08 at 09:05 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '08NuttersMittens

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Yeah! Tell it! That’s why the guy who is about to to become our next president is an African-American Democrat with an unusual name. It is all part of a cunning plan by super genius Willard Mitt Romney!

By the way, that picture causes me to go into a defensive clench.

The USA has been, and always will be a CONSERVATIVE nation.

OK, I don’t disagree with this. However, the people who have [mis]appropriated the word conservative
1. Have no idea what it means.
2. Would hate true conservatism if they did know (since it doesn’t allow for bedroom monitors) and as a result
3. Have pissed everyone off.

Don’t tell them though, it’s kind of like watching a guy in a straight jacket insist that he really is the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.

Yes, Mitt is so awesome at economics that he blew howevermany of his own millions and didn’t even win the primary contest.

The funny thing is that I think McCain would have come a hell of a lot closer to winning if he’d picked Mittens as VP. But that’s about the best I can ever imagine for the Mittens.  Not saying he won’t be the sacrificial lamb in 2012, but there’s no way in hell he’ll ever be preznit.

BTW, BURGERBUTT STILL HAUNTZ THE MYIQ1/2YOUZ!

The troll den sites like ButtBurger are just nonsensical the last couple of days, like a junior high class when the teacher leaves the room.

the blago makes us stoopid

How many times have PUMAs run this “the obots are really scared” scam?  I’ve lost count.

The funny thing is that I think McCain would have come a hell of a lot closer to winning if he’d picked Mittens as VP.

Yeah—perceived competence on the economy (or anything) might have helped.  And, judging by the photo, he could have saved a bunch on prostate exams.

Mitt’s business ability is a joke just like every other aspect of his rich, entitled, unreal life. He’s credited with saving businesses here in MA—how did he do it? By laying off most of the worker bees but those CEOs—hey, they can take home the big bonus still. Yep, that kind of biz smarts, I think we can all live without. And then his performance as Gov.? He spent the entire time traveling, doing speaking gigs where he trashed his own damn state and THEN had the gall to claim credit for the health insurance here that he had very little to do with.
Ah but don’t get me started. Palin/Mittens ‘12

Donna, so how do you really feel about Mittens?

Hugh Hewitt, is that you?

I’m paranoid enough to suspect the Mormon church’s decisive involvement in passing anti-gay ballot measures is an opening salvo in the Mitt ‘12 push—an attempt to ingratiate themselves with the snake-handler demographic that would naturally favor Huckabee.

It won’t work, Mittens. The evangeliban view Mormons as slimy heretics who are only slightly less odious than teh gay.

Now, let’s wait a minute here…

Mitt has a son named Tagg.  Sarah Palin has a son named Trig and a son named Track.

Could there be a clearer sign that 2012 will bring us Palin/Romney or Romney/Palin?  Well… could there???

I just don’t see any kinda Palin/Romney variation in 2012. Neither of their egos could handle it. It’ll be one or the other.

But, dear god, imagine the horror of enduring the battle of the offspring if I’m wrong.

*shudder*

But, dear god, imagine the horror of enduring the battle of the offspring if I’m wrong.

The Sons of Wasilla would exterminate the nancy-pants Romney boys like a herd of sick caribou. It would not be pretty.

BTW, does anyone know if that fudge pic is real?  I found it searching the googles and it doesn’t look like a p-shop job.

“Mitt let the fudge out..Mitt,,,Mitt,,Mitt Mitt”

“Donna, so how do you really feel about Mittens?”

AND he needs to stop with the hair grease already. EWWWWW!

I just bought the Obama photo book by Scout Tufankjian and it is gorgeous—really fab.

“Sons of Wasilla would exterminate the nancy-pants Romney boys like a herd of sick caribou.”

hah! I’d pay to watch that.

The Democrats fear Mitt? As in fear they will fall over laughing? Every time Gail Collins talks about Mitt strapping his Irish Setter Seamus to the top of the family car, I and my fellow Democrats fear we will pee in our pants from laughter. So maybe Ross has a point.

A Conservative nation? Which is why Obama, tagged as the MOST LIBERAL SENATOR, won a majority of votes this election, because we are a Conservative (just confused) nation?

And how did the Mittster, Mr. Conservative Businessman, do in the last election where his main competition was some old guy who almost had to drop out of the campaign and a former minister with a funny name?

I can barely predict what’s going to be four months from now, let alone four years from now, but I don’t see Mittens in my future (though I do have a very nice pair of yellow latex gloves).

I think the photo is genuine. I remember seeing it at TPM way back… posted along with the McCainWreck Express’s visit to (photo link) <a >Schmidt’s Fudge Haus</a> in German Village.

*

oh crist. sorry, i fudged up that link. try again:

Schmidt’s Fudge Haus in German Village.

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Comment by the farmer on 12/13/08 at 01:49 PM

Don’t forget Mitt’s other rival, NY’s own Rudy G911iani, the cross dressin’,abortion lovin’, thrice-married Bernie Kerrik BFF. As Obama observed at the Al Smith dinner, that was some tough primary.

The PUMA Pac vs. The New Agenda/Free Us Now war is so fucking on:

taggles1 12.13.08 at 1:09 pm

  Every single PUMA has a right to know. Here is an email chain between me and Amy Siskind last night. Two other founders were cc’d on this email as well.

  From: Amy Siskind
  Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:58:16 -0500
  To: ‘Deborah Schutt’; ‘Harriet Christian’;
  Subject: BettyJean
  This woman BettyJean is insane. She has totally crossed the line now on dissing me and our group. She had the pass for the dying daughter for a day – but 3 days later it is gone. I am getting emails from people saying what is wrong with that woman! Frankly, enough is enough!
  Since the three of you profess to know her I’d ask the following: 1) I want our logo removed from her website. She is nuts. I do not want our organization affiliated with her in any way. People are emailing me background on her – and again – I do not want our group affiliated with her in any way! 2) she has got to move on already. This is insane.

  From: taggles
  Sent: Friday, December 12, 2008 11:20 PM
  To: Amy Siskind; Deb; ‘Harriet Christian’
  Subject: Re: BettyJean
  I resign. You have accomplished that Amy. This email to me is insane and unprofessional.

  Sheri

  From: Amy Siskind
  Subject: RE: BettyJean
  To: taggles “‘Deb’” “‘Harriet Christian’”
  Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 8:31 PM
  What is “insane and unprofessional” is a woman who is taking the time to publicly on a blog trash The New Agenda and me personally. Three days in a row.
  You want out. Wish you well.

  From: taggles
  Subject: RE: BettyJean
  To: “‘Deb’” “‘Harriet Christian’” “Amy Siskind”
  Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 8:54 PM

  Yes Amy, it is insane of you to request of me to do anything. I have no control over Betty Jean.

  Yes Amy, it is unprofessional of you to request of me to do anything. I have no control over Betty Jean.

  And I will add that the way you talk about a woman who’s daughter is dying and weighs 88lbs, is disgusting. You need to get a little tougher skin there Amy. She is a member who is unhappy with a decision of yours. You imply you know she suffers from some mental disease because people are sending you background, that is a gross thing to put in an email to me. What is this the gestapo. To plant those types of thoughts without any evidence is beyond the pale.

  I want nothing to do with an organization that treats women like this, especially one you think is nuts and needs help. A little compassion Amy goes a long way. A little responsibility taking when you fuck up goes a long way.

  Stop blaming Betty Jean and anyone else for your screw up. People are pissed at you because the New Agenda sold them down the river. They thought you were something new and were concerned to find out you backed down on a very important issue.

  There are better ways to handle this type of thing Amy and you have failed miserably.

  Sheri

Pull up your socks and strap on your cocks - Murphy’s SoapBox Militia rides!

jenniforhillary 12.12.08 at 11:46 pm
[...]
I would take 10 fat old crazy ladies with GUMPTION and SMARTS over 1 million skinny asswhipes anyday…

and give me 1000 fat old crazy ladies with gumption and smarts, and we might be able to have a real god damn revolt comment #134

jenniforhillary 12.13.08 at 12:03 am
well, I am shabby and grassroots….and I will challenge ANYONE from the NEW fucked UP Agenda to debate anytime anyplace…

God damn them…Murphy is the reason for it all….and all Pumas…they are just some come along group. Probably have weight limit and must bleach hair and shave down there…. comment #174

sandipuma 12.12.08 at 11:28 pm
The New Puma Party will grow we are still a crawling baby but we will stand up and walk then run and then look out there will be no stopping. Look out 2012 we are coming!!!! comment #98

gypsy rebel 12.13.08 at 12:06 am
kat in your hat 12.13.08 at 12:02 am I bought my self defense last Sunday - a Smith and Wesson, 9mm, semi-automatic and my hand is in perfect fitness! Don’t have time for the old shotgun. You would not believe how many women were at the Gun Show!! comment #176

jenniforhillary 12.13.08 at 12:24 am
The first gun show through texas this year will selling million plus. Most people will be buying like there is no tomorrow…because there might not be. And bullets by the 1000’s…. comment #195

gypsy rebel 12.13.08 at 12:31 am
jenniforhillary 12.13.08 at 12:24 am Well, the one thing I did see alot of were what they call “bad ass guns” - now, those were not pretty!! Probably the second best sellers!! comment #211

kat in your hat 12.13.08 at 12:35 am
gypsy rebel # 205
Yeah, I’ll do it one day when I have extra cash or I can ask for it maybe. It might be exciting. You know…like that movie “American Beauty”… Well, yes, I’ll try it.  comment #217

Unfortunately, it appears that BillieJo has gone sub rosa.

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Comment by the farmer on 12/13/08 at 02:21 PM

I think we both saw that PUMA thread at the same time.  It’s a keeper.  One of those internet things that need to be preserved to amuse future generations.

I almost hated to link to it in case it might disturb the PUMAs in their natural habitat.

It was just a matter of time before they started going cannibal.

Heh, Murphy was thrown out of the New Agenda.  I’m not a big fan of Siskind, but she’s definitely smarter and far more stable than most PUMAs. She should have known that teaming up with basketcases like Harriet, Murphy, Taggles and BettyJean was a huge mistake.

Funny side note: Siskind actually asked Betty to write a post for the New Agenda once, but she took a pass.

Oh, this just gets better and better...

Comment by sean on 12/13/08 at 02:38 PM

And now if you’d allow me one non-PC giggle:

jenniforhillary 12.13.08 at 12:04 am

  Kat–GREAT suggestion

  note to self–get on the treadmill NOW

note to treadmill-run for your life NOW

I liked the “American Beauty” threat from kat in the hat the best. Wherein hopefully she buys a handgun and starts screwing Buddy Kane the King of Real Estate.

*

Oh, this just gets better and better…

That’s great. At first I thought it read “booty fudge”...

a “fudge hamper” is a lovely addition to any hamper collection and would would look splendid next to the skull hamper.

*

I’d love to see Mitt Romney win the GOP nomination. All the Democrats have to do to win the election is run a 30-second commercial of a dog carrier strapped to the roof of a station wagon. Or video of him mentioning the word “free markets” alongside video of people homeless, losing their homes and jobs.

Game. Set. Match. Obama’s second term is assured.

Riding the roof rack with Mittens Across America (photo link)

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Comment by the farmer on 12/13/08 at 02:55 PM

OMG! what did I miss?! Time to catch up with the fucknuttery! ROFL!!

Farmer, I’m almost crying from laughter after reading that…

I would take 10 fat old crazy ladies with GUMPTION and SMARTS

If they agree to march on Washington, can we take up a collection for a charter bus…er, van?  The Ten Fat Crazy Lady March on Washington would be worth its weight in comedic gold!

The New Puma Party will grow

Yeah, NPP all up in yo grill, bust a kap in yo skinny ass!  Though I also like the name PUMA PUMA.  Sadly, the noble Puma is becoming an endangered species.

Comment by sean on 12/13/08 at 03:02 PM

Uh oh: BillieJo has surfaced (#413) Apparently shes been out conducting reconnaissance of the ememy flanks… like Jeb Stuart along the Rappahannock.

Time to start flinging tips Jonah Goldberg’s way: #414

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Comment by the farmer on 12/13/08 at 03:12 PM

Betty Jean won’t take this lying down:

FreeMeNow 12.13.08 at 2:32 pm

  Murphy & Sheri,
  On one hand I am so sorry that you had to take heat for me and I was just about to appologize until after reading the entire blog I got to this end and saw Sheri’s comment. then I realized - I inadvertantly did us all a favor.
  You see anything that I did - I did openly. I wrote my criticisms of her action wheras she spoke for American women - in the open , and as you both know any personal email I wrote to her was always BCC to you both so you are aware that i was always lucid. On the other hand - it is obvious that this person is not only a liar - she is vicious - underhanded - dangerous - self centered - heartless and now I find she is also capable of liable. As you both well know the communication between us lasted 3 hours or so not 3 days although her continued ranting appears to have lasted 3 days.

  Unfortunatly, even though I have tried my best through blog and newsletters to smoth it over for the sake of the organization and the other founders Amy Siskind will not be appeased until she has had her pound of flesh.

  Of course - I will not let her and I can see that you will not either. I am proud to call you both friend and I can see that we have an army of other friends that will never give her the ability to win this vendetta moreover she has proven to be unfir to head this organization and the founders should move to dethrown her immediately before she destroys the entire group with her poisonous hatred.

I think this is lucid, don’t you?  And who knew Amy Siskind could be capable of liable?

The meltdown appears to be coming.  Anyone making popcorn?

The Ten Fat Crazy Lady March on Washington

:-) !!! - tons of fun for everyone!

*

and give me 1000 fat old crazy ladies with gumption and smarts, and we might be able to have a real god damn revolt

If the Million Pound March ever descends on D.C., I’m coming to stay with one of you all.

But wait marindenver, there’s more!

I have tried my best through blog and newsletters to smoth it over

And

I am proud to call you both friend

And

she has proven to be unfir to head this organization

AND!

the founders should move to dethrown her immediately


For the love of God, will someone please wrestle the English language from that woman’s hands before she does it any lasting damage?!

The meltdown appears to be coming.  Anyone making popcorn?

Make it microwave caramel popcorn for me.

the founders should move to dethrown her immediately

Its like watching the Les Enragés purges in Paris during The Reign of Terror.

*

It gets a little crazier at Free Us Now blog

As you all know I am the mother of a dying daughter - and I was appalled to find out that Amy Siskind thinks that is a subject she has the right to have a dismissive discourse about and she not only communicates to others that I am insane, fat, old and a nobody but she also thinks I am unimportant and stated that she could care less if my daughters is dying -saying it doesn’t get me any passes from her wrath.  Amy is now secretly sending letters to at least 33 people telling them that she is getting dirt on me! I have copies of many of those letters! She has not said what the dirt is but alludes that I am crazy! MD does not stand for doctor Amy and I would not rely on her if I were you - that source of information is most unreliable and a vendetta I and others easily recognized. You were taken in by MD and now you are the fool for it and that is why they are all resigning - we all know what you did and where you went to get the dirt you think you have!  Shame on you - you are revealed!

So you think I deserve no passes -I agree- it also doesn’t stop me from firing back Amy! Hold on to your panties honey!

First Darragh resigned after being shocked by Amy’s behavior - then Sheri.  Amy Siskind should resign from her position at the Agenda immediately- her behavior is totally unacceptable and does not reflect the valuses of the organization. If she does not resign- I will lead the charge to expose this behavior by releasing all email correspondence as will all the other founders who have or will have resigned in order to prove that Amy Siskind is not suited to this position.

You know, if taggles or murphy were really her friends, they’d be advising her to step away from the computer for a month or two.  Seriously.

Anyone know who MD is? Man, this has to be a million times better than watching soaps.

Its like watching the Les Enragés purges in Paris during The Reign of Terror.

Too funny.

BTW, I was thinking about doing a BlogTalkRadio show Radio Rumproast “special” of nothing but “dramatic” readings of PUMA posts and comments.  I was going to have folks pick something and email it to me.  Then they could call in and read it on the “air.” I think it could be pretty damn funny, especially if enough people took part.  Whadda you guys think?

The infighting continues! Damn this is so fun to watch!!

330

kat in your hat 12.13.08

  Zee,

  I’ll do whatever the fuck I please.

  Remember that.

  If you don’t like the “knitting circle” so much, why don’t you AVOID “the knitting circle”?
331

Zee 12.13.08

  kat,

  Obviously, you do talk smack and call people out by name.

  You can go ahead and accuse others of doing what you do if that’s what you mean by doing “whatever the fuck you want” but don’t expect to be able to accuse others of doing what you do and not get called on that.

  Too bad.
332

Zee 12.13.08

  Oh, and I come here despite the knitting circle and their clicking tongues.

  After all, I’m glad PUMAbear was not run off by being falsely accused of race-baiting, and I’m glad ##### was not run off by the delusional accusations of her causing someone’s computer to crash, and nor will I be run off by someone talking smack behind my back and falsely accusing me of the same.
333

kat in your hat 12.13.08

  Zee says:
  “Obviously, you do talk smack and call people out by name.”

  Yes, I do! You.

  I noticed you dragged mountainsong into this up there, your POINT?

  So, as usual, it’s been wonderful you stopped by. Hey, others might enjoy how you like to bring up negative or regrettable things involving PUMAbear and #####, and “clicking tongues,” and “knitting circles”…but really, it’s not all *that* enjoyable for everyone.

I love girl fights.

Sorry, had to say it.

her behavior is totally unacceptable and does not reflect the valuses of the organization.

Has it got valuses in its pocketses?!

Fuck a bunch of reality TV. The only way this could be better is with video feed of these lunatics snorting and snarling as they bang away on their keyboards.

BlogTalkRadio show Radio Rumproast “special” of nothing but “dramatic” readings of PUMA posts and comments.

How about with Petey Pumapants reading - as if he were reading excerpts from a Jane Austen novel. With a british accent and that Masterpiece Theater music in the background.

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I will lead the charge to expose this behavior by releasing all email correspondence as will all the other founders who have or will have resigned in order to prove that Amy Siskind is not suited to this position.

ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleasedoitdoitdoit!!!!

Whadda you guys think?

I’d say it is a great idea but the last time I seconded one of your proposals (a synopsis of the PUMA/Pat Fitzgerald Fiasco) it NEVER HAPPENED.

So.

Your current idea is HORRIBLE, one I dislike intensely. If you do it I’ll unleash a thousand hungry PUMAs in your house.

I’d say it is a great idea but the last time I seconded one of your proposals (a synopsis of the PUMA/Pat Fitzgerald Fiasco) it NEVER HAPPENED.

Heh.  True.  Sorry, had a busy day today and didn’t have the time to spend rereading all of those PAc comments.  Maybe tomorrow. I may even do a nice graphic or two for it.

I dunno if this has ever happened to anyone else, but, sometimes when i read the PUMApac threads I think of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf. Where each PUMA is assigned its own musical instrument. And I think it would be cool if each PUMA reading were precededed by a musical instrument corresponding the that particular PUMA, or groupings of PUMA (ie: taggles and the ducks etc…). Although I’m not exactly sure myself where to get an orchestra- which could run the project over budget - or even a seven string banjo for mountainsong. But its a thought.

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Griffin 12.13.08 at 5:48 pm

  And I sent Jennifer Aniston an e-mail, not that she’ll care: “Why? Are you feeling insecure? Old? Not wanted by men? How sad that your first response to your insecurities is to strip off your clothes. Not someone I want my daughter to emulate or even know about. No more Friends re-runs on our tv. Silly woman, put your tits away already. Are you a person or a set of genitalia?” WTF, I had my say.

Has there ever been a worse poet than johninca?

The answer, in case you were searching for it, is “no.”

“Advanced was the night ‘ere I finally lay down,
As if sleep were an unattainable noun.”

“I thought they’d drink a toast to your health,
In glasses they’d bought with redistributed wealth.”


Could Johninca be the Florence Foster Jenkins of poetry?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9QXH7tQgoc

Although FFJ was incompetent for a good cause. She also said, “People may say I can’t sing, but nobody can ever say I didn’t sing!”

And Oboy, was she right.

Looks like they disappeared the johninca poem (i get a page not found message)

But by jeezis jingling bells of xmas the fun never ends over there - Chucky is hacking away at the Clown: riverchucky

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Comment by the farmer on 12/13/08 at 07:05 PM

And I think it would be cool if each PUMA reading were precededed by a musical instrument corresponding the that particular PUMA, or groupings of PUMA

LOL!

Kazoos. Kazoos with different pitches.

Or nose flutes.

jenniforhillary 12.13.08 at 6:10 pm

  Griffin–great post.

  One day women will understand–maybe–that taking off your clothes for money is always a bad situation. And we wonder why there aren’t more women CEO’s….

  KEEP YOUR FRIGGIN CLOTHES ON and go do something…

Please! Please! Please! Leave your clothes on jenn!! I wouldn’t want to resort to poking my eyes out with hot pokers if you posed nude!!

Shorter jenniforhillary: As a feminist, I hate those God-damned slutty bitches who keep ruining things for women.

One day women will understand–maybe–that taking off your clothes for money is always a bad situation. And we wonder why there aren’t more women CEO’s….

Women CEO’s what? Panties? Cars? WHAT?

Chucky is hacking away at the Clown

Shorter Riverchucky:  Goddammit, it’s my goddam blog and I’m the only one allowed to bitch about how much I hate Pissmus here.

Hunger Tallest Palin—I just can’t compete with “million pound march.”  You win.

Has it got valuses in its pocketses?!

That’s actually the German spelling of “phalluses,” so there’s clearly more here than originally met the eye (visions of Bobbitses dance in my head).  Incidentally, the correct plural would be “phalli” (“valli” in German).  in the 60s and 70s, German-speaking immigrant body-builders in Southern California, after getting a lot of easy action, started calling a particular kind of woman there “valli girls.”  English-speakers naturally corrupted to give us the expression “Valley Girl.”  But I digress…

The only way this could be better is with video feed

It’s kind of stalker-ish, but I’m sure I’ve seen a picture of Billie-Bob-Jean somewhere, and it would probably be possible to track down pics of most of the rest in various Puma Denver/RBC albums.  Oh, the YouTube fun we could have…

Now back to watching the show.

Disappeared one of the great winds of our generation howling in the wilderness? I got ya covered:
Inauguration
Posted on December 13, 2008 by johninca
I hear you’re to be our Commander In Chief,
Some heard it with joy but I heard it with grief,
Are the legislators you hold in tow
A congress or Reichstag? I no longer know.
Not for myself do I sound an alarm,
I won’t resist you; I’ll do you no harm,
My forgiveness I withheld not from you,
For what you’ve done and for what’s to ensue.
Conscience demands that for you I should pray,
A command I complied with on this very day,
Advanced was the night ‘ere I finally lay down,
As if sleep were an unattainable noun.
I saw a woman in effigy hang,
All while your minions celebrated and sang,
I thought they’d drink a toast to your health,
In glasses they’d bought with redistributed wealth.
I saw a woman’s head in a noose,
I saw the forces of evil let loose,
The woman whose head was in effigy rent,
She should have been our Vice President.
I saw your gendarmes patrolling the street,
I saw my country her conqueror greet,
I saw the young men marched off to war,
And saw women weep for the children they bore.
I saw my country when she was seized,
By soldiers who with themselves appeared pleased,
My country I saw them drag to a hill,
On her about to do their own will.
My country I saw on two wooden blocks nailed,
Crosswise arranged, and I saw her impaled,
I saw your gendarmes guarding the hill,
And crowds the vicinity starting to fill.
I saw my country struggle for breath,
Unable to move, now resigned to her death,
I heard her writhing, and heard a last gasp,
I knew that life had slipped from her grasp.
I heard babies cry and I heard women scream,
As if concluding a horrible dream,
I had seen blood and I had seen tears,
And reckoned my sorrows beyond all my years.
Then the Poet, from his little place on the hill,
As if overcoming weakness of will,
Kept vigil till morning; then home he returned,
His country’s sorrowful fate having learned.
His room having entered, he collapsed to the ground,
For all he had seen his exhaustion was sound,
With heaven he wrestled, entreated and pled,
His country to see lifted up from the dead.

Howling and prowling.

See, see the old sky
Marvel at its big pink depths.
Tell me, Fred do you
Wonder why the turkey ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel barfy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your splunge facial growth
That looks like
A beer.
What’s more, it knows
Your ****el potting shed
Smells of Dick Cheney.
Everything under the big old sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm limburgers.

I hear you’ll be staying at the Commadore Reef
Some like the Chateaubriand some the BBQ’d beef.
Conscience requires I pay for your stay
I’m sure that you’re tired from your travel today
Advanced was the night ‘ere I finally lay down,
As if sleep were an unattainable noun.
I saw a woman in efficacy hang
A sign on her doorknob that defiantly sang
Please, Do Not Service - Do Not Disturb
As if sleep were somehow an operable verb.
So I thought I’d order some toast from the desk,
With waffles and syrup and a fruit plateresque.
The woman I spoke to on the end-table phone
Could not have been nicer and called herself Joan.
—-
thanks Mrs Polly

Vogon poetry!

<quote>I’m paranoid enough to suspect the Mormon church’s decisive involvement in passing anti-gay ballot measures is an opening salvo in the Mitt ‘12 push—an attempt to ingratiate themselves with the snake-handler demographic that would naturally favor Huckabee.</quote>

...actually, you know what, hadn’t thought of it that way, but that’s probably true.  As far as it goes, I mean.  As you say. 

And then again you figure: the extreme right more or less got over its anti-Catholic kneejerk, at least more so than with the Mormons: see Antonin Scalia, “The Passion,” etc.  Give ‘em time.

Mitt Romney??!!

Damn right I’m scared shitless of that bastard.

I’m afraid of his hair. It looks as though he has a spray painted armadillo on his head.

From the nervous smile permanently plastered on Romneys face, it seems like that thing will go rabid at any moment, jump of, and rip somebody’s throat out.

Have you ever seen the claws on an armadillo?

I wouldn’t go anywhere near that sunuvabitch.

Let’s hope his hair attacks Coulter, rips Ann’s clothes off, revealing the huge schlong we’ve suspected all along.

KevinK said:

BlogTalkRadio show Radio Rumproast “special” of nothing but “dramatic” readings of PUMA posts

Poke around for old 50’s sci-fi movies online and record the scores. Even the shittiest Corman movies had great scores, Night of the Living Dead has wonderfully overwrought melodramatic music during the zombie chomps.

You put the stuff behind anything and it’s comedy gold, but more than purrrr-fect for Puma wailings on a dark and stormy night.

/theramin

Amy Suskind came for her pound of flesh
On the floor it left as if a slippery mess
Like the stark wires of a colander dripping lardly mesh
Into the Cauldruns of far off away Gilgamesh

Unto victory not unlike Joan of Ark we strode
As a thundering toilet or shining commode
We are strong, we are the mothers and sisters of ode
Rising like a South Park episode

Amy Suskind came for her pound of flesh
Then another, then another, she did her best
But we hardly noticed, we bow not to lipo spleshed
Plenty more with which that we are blessed

We are Puma, we are 18 million, don’t be late
We are Puma, 18 million if you go by weight

Knit one Purl one lean and mean
Knit a doily for my M-16
Gangstuh Puma jump back in line
Got sweaters for my 17 cats and my semi 9

-scooter
graveyard shift

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