Department of Misleading Headlines

Here’s how Fox News titled an AOL news item:

Readers who click through expecting to see a story about a rogue Pegasus crashing a party with murderous intent will be disappointed; it’s an account of an altercation at a residence on a Native American reservation:

Elmer Flying Horse has been sentenced to more than two years in prison, for stabbing a man four times with a kitchen knife, during a fight that occurred on his birthday at an Indian reservation in North Dakota.

U.S. District Judge Daniel Hovland ordered Flying Horse, 25, of Porcupine, N.D., to serve 27 months in federal prison, followed by three years of supervised release. Hovland went after Flying Horse’s wallet too, ordering him to pay a $100 special assessment to the Crime Victim’s Fund and $8,383.90 in restitution.

On March 31, 2011, Flying Horse, his younger brother and others gathered to celebrate Flying Horse’s birthday at a home on Standing Rock Indian Reservation. During the course of the evening, Flying Horse’s younger brother became involved in a verbal altercation that quickly became a fight with the victim, according to U.S. Attorney Timothy Purdon.

Flying Horse joined in the scuffle and, with a kitchen knife, stabbed the victim three times in the upper back and at least one time in the head. The victim required medical treatment for a fractured skull, bleeding on the brain and a punctured lung.

Authorities arrested Flying Horse and charged him with assault with a dangerous weapon and assault resulting in serious bodily injury.

I liked the rampaging unicorn angle better.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/15/11 at 08:02 AM • Permalink

Not to be confused with “Flaming Arrow Nearly Ignites Easton Bonfire.”

http://www.gassigns.org/mobil/images.html

I look to India’s English newspapers for rollicking headlines, such as “Islamists go chop-chop on Somalia’s criminals”

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