Does Time magazine cause painful anal itching?

According to the New Rules of Journalism, it’s a fair question.

Time Rag.

Yes, I know. I passed up the opportunity to title this “Rocket from Russia.” However, the article (which does not improve once you drag yourself past the lede) is nothing more than an attempt to send the fReichtards back to their dressers for a fresh pair of panties and a new sock.

Let’s grab a quote from Mr. “Simon Shuster’s” article at random:

“The most likely explanation is that the Israelis intercepted this cargo, which had been meant for Syria or Iran,” says Yulya Latynina, a prominent political commentator and radio host on Echo of Moscow, a station owned by state-controlled gas giant Gazprom.

I could write several paragraphs about the problems with this one paragraph.

Or I could snicker at the name Gazprom because it sounds like the prom date from Hell.

I pick door Number 2 until the TalEvangicals catch wind of this and go into a Force 8 Rapture Frenzy and then I’ll laugh at that.

No, I’d lay a bet on this one. Apparently someone got really stoned, read the Book of Revelation and discovered Russia and Israel mixing it up is A SIGN that the true believers will soon be whisked away to Heaven where they’ll get front row seats to the Sinners Writhing in Torment-a-thon.

(Actually, we’ve got a big Post-Rapture party planned. Don’t tell them! Mr. Shuster [if that is his real name] isn’t invited either.)

My theory: The Russians wanted to confuse six flavors of hell out of English speakers. They named a ship the Artic Sea, hid it for a few weeks and then started calling various officials: “Excuse me, the Artic Sea is missing, have you seen it?”

Confirmation will come if the Russians claim their ship My Cherry was lost on the Horn of Africa and Palin complains that she can hear the sound of laughter from her front yard.

xp 300

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/31/09 at 09:58 PM • Permalink

Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBedwetters

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The SS Mike Hunt has been missing for weeks. I suspect the Greeks.

I don’t want to read a newsmagazine or newspaper that asks me questions.  I want them to give me facts and I’ll ask the questions.

I have several questions of my own:

Does reading Joe Klein give you gonorrhea?
Does listening to Tucker Carlson shrink the balls of otherwise healthy males?
Is Rush Limbaugh a fat, evil fuck, or a really fat, evil fuck?
Did Dick Cheney give Scooter Libby a reacharound?
Is Sarah Palin fucking Newt Gringrich?
Does Peter Daou wear lace panties when he comments on progressive blogs?

Thanks for your help.

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