Drug-Addled Douchebag Rush Limbaugh to Purchase St. Louis Rams?

I hate the St. Louis Rams with the white-hot heat of ten-thousand suns. I still despise them for benefitting from the blatantly bogus overturning of a completed pass during the 1999 playoff game vs. my Tampa Bay Bucs. (Think this is just partisan bitching? The NFL enacted the “Bert Emanuel rule” after that season to prevent future playoff contenders from being similarly boned.)

My loathing of the Rams grew as they went on to win the Super Bowl they backed into with a bad call, and my contempt expanded exponentially when their QB, Kurt Warner, slobberingly insisted during the post-game interview that Jesus Himself had personally engineered the Rams’ win:

Immediately after the Rams’ victory at the Super Bowl, an interviewer began, “Kurt, first things first—tell me about the final touchdown pass to Isaac.” Kurt responded, “Well, first things first, I’ve got to thank my Lord and Savior up above—thank You, Jesus!”

I suppose Jesus arranged the bogus call during the playoffs too, the bastard. (But Satan would have his revenge in Super Bowl XXXVII, when the Bucs spanked the Raiders. As Kathy Griffin would say, “Suck it, Jesus!”)

Anyway, I didn’t think it was possible to hate the Rams even more. Until I saw this. Heck, maybe it’s a good fit. The Rams’ coaching staff is mostly white (though Brian Baker may want to spiff up his resume), and George Steinbrenner can finally relinquish the “biggest asshole in sports ownership” title.

Limbaugh’s motives are obvious – he’s still smarting from having to resign in disgrace after his racist remark about Donovan McNabb during his mercifully short-lived MNF tenure. This is a way to get the NFL to sit up and take notice. The corpulent gasbag craves attention like a drug.

And speaking of drugs, aren’t NFL locker rooms just littered with narcotics? They probably have Vicodin and OxyContin sitting around in candy dishes between the hot tubs and massage tables. Limbaugh heaven. 

[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/30/08 at 08:01 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsPUMAsSports

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Agreed that Limbaugh would ascend to the coveted “biggest asshole in sports” title.  He’s not there yet.  Currently, Al Davis and a couple of NBA owners are incumbents, notwithstanding a recent push by Brett Favre.

Farvaro is such a scumsucker that he even gives Laura Ingraham, who called him out for crying on his retirement announcement, journalistic credibility.  I just got a migraine from typing that.

Oh Paledave, Paledave! Why the boiling pool of resentment toward poor Brett Favre? Now, I admit, I haven’t followed the story minutely, so it’s possible I’ve missed something. But from what I’ve read, he’s guilty of nothing worse that a whole lot of Hamlet-like dithering.

Sure, it’s disconcerting for the Packers, and I do feel bad for Rodgers, as this definitely ups the pressure on the long-suffering kid. But you can’t really blame Brett for wanting to come back to the game he loves, the one thing he’s really good at, can you?

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit I have a personal connection to Favre: My grandmother jilted his grandfather at Ole Miss back in the late 30s. If not for Grandmama Cracker’s capriciousness, neither Brett nor I would exist, which makes him family, in a way.

As for Al Davis, we’re in perfect accord. He’s a flaming asshole—a throbbing hemorrhoid on the NFL’s anus. Speaking of assholes, I’ve never respected Laura Ingraham’s journalistic integrity, but I did feel sorry for her when I saw the vid featured in this HuffPost. She dealt with the Fox incompetents with more equanimity than Bill-O mustered, that’s fer sure.

Well BC, I am convinced ESPN has turned into the Red Sox-Yankees-Favre network. It’s been a trial to watch ESPN for about 5 years now, but the constant updates, the breathless empty analysis of favre’s situation, the constant refrain of Manny-isms have me watching F&F;.

And I believe Limbaugh was fired from NFL Gameday, not MNF.

He would have held on a bit longer if he had referred to the correct QB in his stupid statement—Kordell “I’m not crying on the sidelines” Stewart.

Humboldt, you are right—I got my wingnuts mixed up. Limbaugh was shit-canned by ESPN. It was Dennis Miller was booted from MNF, and for being an unfunny douchebag rather than a racist. I stand corrected.

Bringing Favre back to the NFL would make a lot of cornerbacks richer.  But let’s get back to Rush.  I would have thought that with his size, his estimated blood pressure, and his lack of a backbone/moral compass, he would be dead by now.  Where did we go wrong, honey?

/Richard Daley won one of his elections with 6 million votes.
Chicago population for that election: 4.5 million.

Bringing Favre back to the NFL would make a lot of cornerbacks richer.

You’ve been LOLed, mister!

Will he fire all the black players?  Because, you know, they’re overrated and stuff.

Well, I always insisted to have a mobile drug rehab center, but there are certain people that know what players are involved in drug issues and they keep it secret until it is time to fire that player.

Comment by Cristian on 09/30/08 at 11:48 AM
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