EXPLOSIVE! KABOOM!!! LAMESTREAM MEDIA QUEEN KATIE COURIC GIGGLES AT RIDICULOUS FIRST NAMES!!!!!!

Oh. Dear. God. Just when you think they can’t get any sillier:

As you can see, the video shows Katie Couric preparing to go on the air on the day John McCain announced Governor Palin as his running mate. It shows some tantalizing hints of Couric’s attitude toward the Governor—when talking about first Trig, then Track, Couric says “where the hell do they get these [names]?...” At that point the producer running the sound board shut off the sound because he or she didn’t want to have Couric’s disdainful and contemptuous view of Governor Palin’s children captured on even an internal CBS tape that they never expected would see the light of day. You can tell this by the “OMG!” reaction of the CBS news employees who were in the control room as Couric said that about the Governor’s kids. This video also shows Couric taking a shot at female basketball players and at Governor Palin’s hometown, one of the fastest growing areas in the country, and the fifth largest city in Alaska.

There’s a larger story here, of course.

Of course, the larger story is that YOU’RE RIDICULOUS FUCKING PEOPLE! Stop it. Now. I can’t take being American anymore. You teabaggin’ Palinbots are embarrassing the hell out of me. I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!

MORE: To take the heat off of Queen Katie, our liberal media goddess, I decided to revisit the post where we live-blogged Sarah Palin’s appearance on The Oprah Show last year. During the commercial breaks we came up with names for Sarah’s future children on the fly. Here’s a list of most of ‘em. This is how you do it, Ms. Couric…

RUMPROAST’S PALIN NAME GENERATOR LIST:

Stick
Grunt
Prig
Whistler
Spatula
Dishtowel
Teachable Moment
Brylcreem
Listerine
Neutrogena
Deerlick
Undertow
Sandwedge
Niblick
Frodo
Drakkar Noir
Bardahl
Sliver
Splint
Cialis
A-Frame
Carrottop
Beldar
Dumptruck
Bungee
Stepladder
Sniffles
Kegerator
Flathead
Trivet
NoStep
Moonpie
Sarek
Biaxin
Keegle
Potluck
Rake
Follicle
Torque
Jäger
Zontar
Zog
Zanax
Slamanda
Reservoir End
Urkel
Lambert
Gandalf
Stickshift
Halftrack
Autolube
Piston
U-Drive
Spark Plug
Pine Scent
Flit
Lysol
Rid-X
Summer’s Eve
Fleet
Goiter
Sprinkle
Tinkle
(and) Nod
Sherpa
Da-Glo
Pilocyst
Trowel
Grout
Crutch
Enzyte
Accident
Powderkeg
Stork
Oblong
Crest
Ossining
Fallujah
Chappaqua
Stripmine
Yummers
Strudel
Bunion
Spork
Nomnom
Gomorrah
Newt
Pistolwhip
Bitchslap
Chlamydia
Pepperoni
Crowbar
Biscuit
Trunk
Splooge
Tailgate
Steakum
Jerky
Clap
Lard
Velveeta
E, Pluribus & Unum
Fido
Paprika
Tentpeg
Doorstop
Spit & Swallow
Pancreas
Skillet
Trucknutz
Sanyo
Crampon
Ducttape
Saddleback
Stub
Sidewall
Compost
Bondo
Combo
Lasso
Wetfart
Axle
Sprocket
ChimChim
RacerX
Speed
InspectorDetector
Backburner
HamburgerHelper
Shake’n'Bake
Treacle
Buckshot
Bukkake
Trencher
Ding-Dong
Ho-Ho
Twinkie
Claptrap
Mousse
Zinger
Noogie
Fudgy the Whale
Rimshot
Squeaky
Squat
Mantle
Cowbell
Dishrag
Goatse
Fastball
Cookie Puss
Rickroll
Cuticle
Netbook
IOKIYAR
Mandlebrot
Gravatar
Munchhausen
Taint
Shiv

Posted by Kevin K. on 08/04/10 at 08:30 AM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Nutters • Sarah Palin • Skull Hampers • Television • YouTubidity •

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Gawd, that mild-mannered shit gets their knickers in a twist? Fuck off already, ridiculous, embarrassing people! Move the the “5th largest city” in your Frozen Cheesecake Goddess’s Tundra Kingdom and raise the collective IQ of the “Lower 48” with your absence!

Comment by Betty Cracker on 08/04/10 at 08:53 AM

What a huge week for the librul media conspiracy crowd!
First,the leaking of Journolist showed liberal columnists are,in fact,liberal! Now we learn that some people think Trig and Track are odd names! Agnew can now truly rest in peace!

Comment by JasonM on 08/04/10 at 09:34 AM

Yes, Ms. Couric should have stuck to putting great emphasis on the President’s middle name and shuddering lightly each time she said it. Or referred to him as Barry Sotero, the name on his REAL birth certifcate.

There’s a larger story here, of course.

Of course! Were it not for Couric’s off camera comments about Tripp and Track and Torque, Palin would be living at the U.S. Naval Observatory! I demand a do-over of the election!

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 08/04/10 at 09:47 AM

Best. Liveblog. EVAR.

Comment by Tom65 on 08/04/10 at 09:50 AM

Couric’s disdainful and contemptuous view of Governor Palin’s children

Sarah’s got her adorers well trained; now they also use her children to deflect criticism aimed at her. Unless Trig and Track somehow named themselves.

I liked this comment:

Katie, the college cheerleader, who uses her low cut blouses and hiked up skirts to read copy she doesn’t even write

I used to do that, but it’s a hassle when you have to put your feet in stirrups just to be fitted for correction lenses.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 08/04/10 at 10:00 AM

Best. Liveblog. EVAR.

It really was pretty funny and I think you may have won the Palin Name War with “Steakum.”

Comment by Kevin K. on 08/04/10 at 10:12 AM

Isn’t “fifth largest city in Alaska” sort of like “fifth-longest book Sarah Palin has actually read?”

Comment by Steve M. on 08/04/10 at 11:50 AM

I am dyin’ ovha heah ... that is some funny shit ... spork ... keegle ... oh man that has made my morning.

Comment by HumboldtBlue on 08/04/10 at 12:23 PM

How long do you think before Palin puts up a sputtering Facebook post accusing Couric of hating on Trig? Not to mention trashing Track who went to Iraq!!!!

Comment by marindenver on 08/04/10 at 01:02 PM

But those names *are* all ridiculous! If one dresses one’s children in clown outfits, complete with neon fright wigs, shiny red false noses, and giant saddle-shoes, one really shouldn’t complain when people point and giggle.

Of course, that kind of logic flies far over the heads of the Sea of Pee swimmers. Read a few more of their posts if you want to develop a deep sense of terror at the sheer breadth and depth of stupidity, groupthink, and idol-worship going on thereabouts.

Comment by litbrit on 08/04/10 at 01:36 PM

Palin looks like us. But most Americans find her whole “Alaska” shtick as bizarre and incomprehensible as the lives of the Laplanders, or the pimp outfits in black exploitation movies, or sugar skulls and mummies on the Day of the Dead. She’s the Voodoo Queen of Star-Spangled Wholesomeness, and her family are the Coneheads of Grassroots Populism.

It was even weirder on the first read, back in the summer of ‘08, which is where Katie was at. Wasilla? Trig? Track? Caribou? Fuck, we were all howling.