Damn damn damn these allergies, they make my eyes stream and my nose run like you would not believe.

Damn you strange for being the equivalent of pine pollen.

My taxes pay for bailing out crap banks, and Members of Parliament’s duck-houses, moat cleaning and second homes, thousands of annoying CCTV surveillance cameras, Cold War-era nuclear weapons-laden submarines, and thousands of ‘managers’ in the National Health Service when what’s really needed is thousands more nurses; but this inane, toe-curling monstrosity of a government-funded advert has just banged the gong, taken the biscuit, and driven me to sobs of impotent despair. Posting to you from a soggy heap on the carpet, I apologise for the UK’s ridiculous run-up to the impending disaster AKA the 2012 Olympics (summer disaster version).

That’s somewhere between insanely cute and sentimental, and really really WTF.

I’m told this is a fairly regular occurrence in Bolton.

Gaah! Hang on I’ll get the Raid!

Cheer up, any country that can come up with that duckhouse can’t be all bad. 

Duckhouse?! That’s the London Olympics Aquatics Centre following Mr. Cleggeron’s upcoming round of budget cuts.

And whatever benighted committee spawned Wenlock and Mandeville must really, really hate kids.

They look like what the dentist showed me when he removed my wisdom teeth.

Though EYE teeth would be more fitting (H/T Strange, of course).

Thanks to the UK for taking me back to that nitrous-glazed, ineffably effing day of pain!

And Strange, of course.

This doesn’t make me wish I still smoked weed as much as the Teletubbies do, but it’s close.