Flipping Nothingburgers at Karl’s All American Cafe
Karl Rove is not a doctor but he is quite an accomplished liar, concern troll and waster of other peoples’ money, ergo it was less than surprising when Karl Rove, appearing before a conference audience with Robert Gibbs and author, Dan Raviv, revealed that Hillary Clinton might possibly be suffering from a touch of traumatic brain injury.
Rove based his diagnosis on, well, nothing . . . outside of his mad political operative deductive skills.
The sane version of this story is that Hillary Clinton caught the flu one day in 2012. The Secretary of State didn’t have time to be sick, so she kept on truckin’, got dizzy, tripped and hit her head. She was taken to a hospital, got a Cabinet member level going over [by real doctors], went home and got well.
Dr. Rove, however, says not so fast—“the woman spent 30 days in the hospital” and was released wearing “glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury.”
“The woman” actually spent 3 days in the hospital and left wearing glasses instead of her contact lenses. But none of that matters to Karl Rove. Karl Rove only cares about the weird calculus that will link that illness to Benghazi-Gate, thus keeping both alive in the fever dreams of the Republican base.
When this event occurred, during one of the GOPs Benghazi-Gate inquisitions, Republicans jumped on the opportunity to paint Secretary Clinton as a malingerer, looking for an excuse to get out of testifying. But now, it’s more useful that something grave might have happened, back then, and voila! Clinton’s walking around with brain damage, poor dear.
Make up your minds, guys.
But, like most highly successful scam artists, Karl Rove values appearances over facts and he is perfectly willing to play the fool to advance his scam.
Who could possibly forget this specter of Karl Rove refusing to accept the outcome of #RomneyFail2012:
On this latest flight of fancy, when his audience and fellow panel members appeared to be thoroughly gobsmacked, Rove took the opportunity to repeat his new talking point the requisite three times to permanently launch it in the echo chamber.
OK, so we all expect that Clinton Derangement Syndrome is going to be a “thing” and with us for quite a while. And Karl Rove making a jackass of himself in public is not news, by any stretch.
But it is a tell. See Karl Rove may be rather odious but he’s smart and there’s no way that he’d waste juicy red meat like Hillary’s Brain Trauma this early in the game unless he had to. There’s no way that all of the fat cats on Karl’s Big Bucks List have forgotten, yet, about the boatloads of money they lost, last time out, trusting Karl Rove, who added insult to injury by throwing a tantrum when he lost.
They’re not so rich that they’ll throw good money after bad, letting Karl pick “winners,” especially if there’s a ringer on the ballot. Republicans know there’s no way in hell they can beat Hillary Clinton with what they’ve got. Their chances aren’t terrific against Generic Democrat. So, their only hope is to try to make it so punishing to run that Clinton will decide not to.
The big money donors have watched Republicans fumble for the last two years. Republicans couldn’t even fake a re-brand, they fell apart on immigration reform, and got sucked into the undertow when Obamacare took off. The economy recovered despite their best efforts to keep that from happening. Rich people who made personal fortunes in real-world businesses wouldn’t hire these losers for janitors. Why donate money to keep them afloat?
Rove knows that the current GOP crop have nothing, but nothing, to spin positively. They have no accomplishments, no ideas and no plans for the future. He also knows that the House Special Committee on Benghazi has no legs. It was only announced a week ago and is already the butt of domestic and international derision.
Of course, Karl can’t say that so he says something banal instead:
This isn’t going to be a bunch of showhorses. This is going to be a lot of workhorses who have a deep familiarity with the law and are going to let the facts speak for themselves.
. . . you just know that his first reaction was - oh,noes!! not the “show horses”—two token women, no elder statesmen, and no nutcases. Only well-behaved, well-groomed, telegenic young white people, led by that Henry Clay of the 21st century, Trey “Did I mention I was once a prosecutor?” Gowdy.
And when Karl Rove said:
I’ve got to tell you, I’m very impressed with what the leadership has done here.
What he meant was “At least Boehner thought up something to keep the Crazy Caucus occupied so they don’t wind up chewing on the furniture and digging up the yard all summer.
Yep. Karl Rove knows he’s gotta make some rain, here. How about “Hillary Has Herpes”, Karl? It has that nice poetic assonance that plays so well in the echo chamber . . .