Florida, Florida, Florida

The Romney PACs bought up scads of TV time here in Florida during the playoff games yesterday to let GOP primary voters know what a scuzzbucket Gingrich is. They had an interesting spin: that the president is behind the Gingrich surge and that Newt is pals with Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore and Freddie Mac.

Will it work? I have no idea. A year ago, I would have said Gingrich had a lock on it since it’s a closed primary and the state’s GOP voters were dumb and crazy enough to nominate and elect obvious crook Rick Scott on a “reform” ticket. But with Scott’s approval ratings now in chlamydia territory, maybe they’ve learned their lesson? Hahahaha, of course not! Anyway, here’s an electoral map:


I’m thinking Gingrich will take the “MIGHT AS WELL BE ALABAMA” territory. It looks big, but much of it is sparsely populated. Romney will likely take “WINTER HOME OF THE 1%” territory, because the folks there identify with the paltry $375K speaking fees and believe a 15% tax rate on hardworking investments is just.

The “PURPLE RAIN” territory is up for grabs. It comprises Midwestern and Northeastern retirees (Villages of the Darned) who seem susceptible to Romney’s comforting Daddy Warbucks mien, but that is balanced by hardcore Teahadists who might break for Gingrich and working folks who think all the choices suck. I’m giving a slight edge to Romney here. 

As for the “FUCK FIDEL” territory, if I were an advisor to Gingrich or Romney, I’d tell them to focus their efforts in Miami Dade, making the rounds of Cuban exile-oriented talk radio shows to blast the frail, retired octogenarian Fidel Castro and suck up to Marco Rubio. My feeling is that’s their best bet to move the needle here.

[X-POSTED at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/23/12 at 08:01 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12MittensNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

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That map just illustrates my ignorance, but it amazes me the Democrats ever get any votes in Florida at all.

Large urban areas like Miami dwarf the rest of the state’s population and generally lean Democratic. And there’s often a large percentage of retirees who know better than to trust Republicans…

Thanks Scott. I guess one advantage of this ridiculous primary is that it serves as a travelogue of the states!

Great map, Betty, and it’s drawing some good comments here and over at Cole’s joint, that add further information and insight (and questions).

From B-J came a reference to “The Villages” in the Purple Rain zones, and it was stated that the GOP voters in The Villages are core Tea Party types: angry old white people heavily reliant on government support, the kind who want gubmit to leave their Medicare aloooone!

Is “The Villages” an informal phrase applied to the planned retirement communities in these regions, or does the term have a more formal existence?

Hahaha, from B-J commenter Beltane (#40):

I’ve also read that The Villages has the highest rates of STD infection in Florida due to all the old men with government subsidized Viagra and a whole lot of free time on their hands. This seems like it would be Gingrich’s natural constituency.

The STD info is totally true. The Villages is a formal retirement development comprised of walled-off cow pastures with tract housing. But is surrounded by non-TV-branded senior enclaves that are also sometimes lumped in with The Villages just as a catch-all. It is a teahadist stronghold, but I suspect Rick Scott might have made a few of them feel kinda embarrassed about that…

Who drew the map?

Will there be T-shirts?  Please tell me there’ll be T-shirts.  My brother-in-law works at a hotel in the Keys.  I’ll get him to stock some.

(And congrats on joining BJ!)

J, if that isn’t our Betty Cracker’s map, I will personally swallow a grapefruit the size of Newt Gingrich’s head.

I wonder how Newt’s surprising support of the Dream Act v Romney’s recent endorsement by the architect of Arizona’s Are They Brown? Hunt’em Down law might play with the Fuck Fidel crowd, since Newt hasn’t taken what the Herald called the Perry Plunge.

Brilliant map. (I just posted on FB.) And all those vertical blue lines represent the torrential downpour of bullshit to which your ludicrous state will be subjected.

(I know—they’re ALL ludicrous.)

Mrs. Polly does NOT have to swallow a gigantic, swollen, hollow grapefruit—I drew that shitty map. Hope I remembered to take it out of my kid’s algebra notebook, or there will be hell to pay! Haha!

I drew that shitty map.

it bears the mark of Powerpoint.

Hmm. Balloon Juice is down at the moment (not just for me, according to isup.me. Bummer. Anonymous or the feds?

Balloon Juice is down at the moment

Ah. Up again now. As you were.

Mrs. Polly does NOT have to swallow a gigantic, swollen, hollow grapefruit

That’s a relief! Though it would at least be pithier than Newt.

I’m having a Barbara Walters moment. If Newt were Fruit, what Fruit would Newt be?

Perhaps a Dr. Seuss moment. In any case, I’m thinking Newt would be a Durian, and Mitt a pretty, waxy, flavorless Delicious Apple. Ron Paul a kumquat, and Santorum….Santorum….well all analogies break down eventually, don’t they?

I’m thinking Newt would be a Durian

LOL, just what I was thinking! 

Latest polling is showing Newt up on Willard by as much as 8 points in Florida.  Dog couldn’t love Dems that much could she?  To give us Newt as the nominee?  Probably not.

I had a feeling it was you, Betty. Just checking. So when will the t-shirts be available? :-)

(As for Betty’s daughter, I would think that, being Betty’s daughter, something like that would not phase her in the least—and at most would only generate a teenage eye roll.)

OT, but some of the righty blogs are going apeshit because Rand Paul was “detained” by the TSA for refusing an airport patdown.

Paul went through a scanner at the airport and set off an alarm, said his spokeswoman, Moira Bagley. He wanted to go through the body scan again instead of getting a pat-down, but officers of the Transportation Security Administration refused, Bagley said.

“When an irregularity is found during the TSA screening process, it must be resolved prior to allowing a passenger to proceed to the secure area of the airport,” TSA spokesman Greg Soule said. “Passengers who refuse to complete the screening process cannot be granted access to the secure area in order to ensure the safety of others traveling.”

He wasn’t detained, but he was refused boarding. He boarded a later flight without incident.

No word what the “irregularity” was, but I’m thinking Spinal Tap.

Hopefully he got a full body cavity search.

I like the map, Betty.  It is strangely soothing for such a grim topic.  I’m going to keep looking at the map and ignore the reason why it’s posted in the first place.

Perhaps a Dr. Seuss moment. In any case, I’m thinking Newt would be a Durian

Holy crap, that’s exactly what I was thinking-many hotels prohibit it being brought into rooms since it’s so stinky, might save an intern or two from supreme embarrassment.

Some people liken the taste to “perhaps banana, papaya, vanilla, and - rotting onions.” And the inside looks like doughy custard. Like Newt looks on the outside.

Absolutely ***LOVE**** your map & explanation/analysis on it Betty!!!

Muchos Kudos.  :)

Ah, sweet mystery of life . . .  for most of my 60 years I have puzzled over how my very own Daddy could have been such a drunken, lowlife, borderline bigamist, serial-abandoner-of children scoundrel.  According to my Granny, it was because he was white trash from Florida (which might as well have been Neptune in the less mobile ‘50s.) 

In later life, I visited the Sunshine State several times in the “Purple Rain” region and, once, in the “1% enclave.”  Those visits did nothing to clear anything up for me, as a matter of fact, I started to suspect my sainted Granny of extreme prejudice, as my visits left me with the impression that Florida was mildly glamorous in an old school sort of way.  Think pre-casino Atlantic City . . .

Lo and behold! I wake up on a Tuesday morning, like any other, and the curtain is finally drawn back for me to discover my roots, firmly planted in the “Might as Well be Alabama” compound.  It all would have been so much simpler if Daddy had actually hailed from Alabama . . .

Thank you, Miz Betty, for your unintended solution to my little mystery.

PS I believe that your analysis is spot on . . . and that your new gig at BJ is well-deserved.

I also,too, love the shit out of that map. Very well done! I would also think it would make an awesome t-shirt.

An Idea comes to mind that we should come up with similar maps for all of the states. For instance I am currently thinking about just how far north the “might as well be Kentucky” shading would go in the state of Indiana. The extent of the “If asked, they’ll tell you they’re from Chicago” region and whether or not a sliver follows I-90 to include South Bend…etc.

In any event I would love to see more maps like this one done by or in consultation with locals.

I could do the Colorado map; I understand the state and the shape is about all my artistic skills can handle…

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