Florida, Newt Has A Problem YES IT’S A KIND OF LIVEBLOG

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Well, it wasn’t failure to launch, because Newt’s launched everything he can. Watch and wait with us, if you can bear the suspense. As usual, TPM has the goods, with their delightful interactive map.

Ooooh, I’m just on tenterhooks, aren’t you?

Update: Know what’s fun? Comparing the results with Betty’s map. So far, two might-as-well-be-Alabama counties are going for Newt, as per her prediction.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/31/12 at 06:50 PM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsElection '12MittensNuttersTeabaggery

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And the Gingrich headquarters’ opening song? “Don’t You Want Me.” I am not making this up.

Nice graphic. :-)

I think the only thing worth watching will be Newt’s concession speech and see how he spins it this time.

Heh. Palin’s contribution to posterity for this phase of the election has been to gift Gingrich the slogan, “Annoy a liberal, vote for Newt.” Judging by the exit polls, we are not to be annoyed, unless we were fondly rooting for a Newt win.

On Fox a couple of weeks ago, she said: “I still think my endorsement is probably not worth a hill of beans, nor maybe is my advice.” She then proceeded to give plenty of advice, of course, but a very much belated realization is washing over locations like Ace of Spades that Snooki’s not all that, never was, and never will be:

Is Palin A Lame Duck?

Hoo boy, are some folks out of love over there. A few samples from the comments (skipping over the “I’d still hit it yadayada” stuff):

Once up on a time I was a huge Palin supporter. I told my daughters that I couldn’t wait until the day I could vote for her for president.

Now her voice is one of the rare things that can send me searching for the remote control while I’m comfortably seated on the couch.

Not sure what happened other than the fact that everything she says is somehow self promoting. Her analysis seems pretty superficial as well.

If she ain’t runnin’ for office, she’s just runnin’ her mouth.

She raised a lot of people’s hopes just to get herself a TV gig. I was a fan. No more.

It’s like she’s gone out of her way to prove true every negative thing said about her- drama whoring, dumb, diva, etc.

Every time I hear her on Fox News it’s like she’s talking to 5th grade kids, so intellectually shallow her banal “analysis” is. Santorum did well in Iowa because he appeals to the state’s evangelical demographic? Well no shit, you vapid bimbo.

After the rest of us are getting very tired of this primary cycle, she’s still pushing for this being dragged out as long as possible. No doubt so she and Fox News can continue pretending she has anything remotely insightful to say about the race, and perhaps in the vain hope that a brokered convention would allow her to generate some more bullshit attention-whoring drama.

It’s a long, long way from South Carolina (where Snooki’s endorsement won it for Newt!!!!) to Florida.

Anyhoo. Results. I believe the networks have embargoed calling the result till everyone’s had a chance to vote this time. A novel concept, and one that probably won’t stop them dripping out those exit polls through the evening.

I’ll stay up just to see how many ways Newt can embarrass himself and put the wind up the GOP “establishment” (IOW, anyone who’s not firmly in his corner) in his concession speech. Hope he doesn’t disappoint me.

I wonder what finally turned off the Ace O’Spaders on St. Sarah?  Finally realizing she may inspire starbursts but no one but Todd was getting to first base or beyond?

AP couldn’t contain itself, and eager to cling to its status as a news-gathering organization, has called it for—brace yourself—Romney.

Other reports I’ve been seeing say that it looks like turnout will be low.

Mitt is due to give his victory speech at 8.25 ET. His Teleprompter’s all warmed up and waiting.

From the WSJ: Romney Wins Big in Florida Primary

Comment by J. on 01/31/12 at 08:34 PM

Ann Romney’s up to warm up the crowd before Mitt comes to ice’em down.

Ah! Comes the Wan.

His competitors are able, you’ll be astonished to hear. Just not able to compete with his money.

But on to skewering the President. Mitt stands ready to lead. He knows how Government kills jobs, having killed a few himself.

What station/feed are you watching, Mrs. P?

Never mind, I treated myself to Fox.

Just CNN’s regular broadcast.

Mitt’s not going to trample on religious freedom, because the right to peer inside a woman’s womb is guaranteed in the Bibletution.

I love that. Healthcare is “goodies.”

Mitt don’t need no stinking “goodies.”

Oh well, you may be poor as churchmice, but Mitt’s going to arm you to the teeth. Unlike that fromage-manging singe de surrendre Obama *hack ptooey*

Mitt majors on not getting into that electoral competition where you each promise people unicorns farting dayglo bubbles, then says everything everywhere will be better under Mitt just through his sheer Mittness.

Oh God. Megyn Kelly just uttered the words, “After the break we’ll be joined by Governor Sarah Palin” in that sing-songy Fox Blonde voice that tries to make it sound like this isn’t just any other day.

Dilemma: Earplugs for the cat and stay for the Snooki silliness and spitting, or bail for sanity? Toughie.

The spittly lulz it is, then. I’ll get an umbrella.

Ooh, my feelings about Mitt are getting clearer. I hate him with the intensity of three or four suns. And it’s just January.

Jeez. He lies like the rest of us breathe.

Fox promising Gingrichy surrender goodness in 15-20 minutes.

Snooki’s on the heavy HEAVY meds and is busy burning all those copies of the Constitution her PAC bought in her open fireplace.

Straight out of the trap she’s gunning strong: “Mitt Romney won.” Then spoils the effect by implying that money allows a candidate to catapult all sorts of garbage into people’s living rooms.

She picks up Newt’s “war on religious freedoms” line, which Romney also touched on in his speech.

She still wants a dogfight and that goldarn vetting. Newtering?

Juan Williams shares that Newt lost because “the voters overwhelmingly preferred his opponent.”

Rats, I missed all the fun because of a stooopit softball practices. Have to catch the MSNBC reruns… Romney lies, you say? Shocked! Shocked!

Santorum losing is about as fascinating as Santorum doing anything else.

Santorum didn’t get into a mud-wrestling match and walk away dirty, though!

Santorum speaking. Congratulates Romney. Offers general thanks for support while his daughter was ill.

Somebody presents him onstage with “an enormous ... stuffed ...” come on livefeed, don’t fail me now “... elephant.”

Santorum decries the tone of the campaign and wishes everybody could just get on and beat the crap out of Barack Obama.

Then he trails a speech on Romneycare and Obamacare to be delivered tomorrow.

Pointing out that last week’s conservative saviour Newt Gingrich is a big floppy looooooser, he sums up: “We can’t allow our nominee to be the issue in our campaign.” Looking round the GOP field, that’s understandable.

I am coming to the conclusion that Callista Gingrich is in fact a CGI projection.

Woohoo! Newlary Clingrich is going to fight to the finish FOR THE PEOPLE!

Newt tries to include himself in the race as still a contender: “a competition between the conservative leader and the Massachusetts moderate.”

“We will contest everywhere and we are going to win.” Well, everywhere except those states where he couldn’t even get on the ballot.

PEOPLE POWAR DEFEAT MONEY POWAR!!!!

Blows it by referring to “a history of actually doing something in the past.” Yeah, and quite a few of them come round to bite you in the ass.

Ladies and germs, your president is a RADICAL.

Newt’s unicorns will fart liberal-slaying noxious clouds.

Newt is IMPOSING~~~himself on the Establishment! With ideas! It’ll be 1994 all over again, except this history will be farce twice.

Newt thrills himself by trailing a new Contract On America. Fantasizes about repealing Obamacare, Dodd-Frank etc. on January 3, 2013. Hey, everybody gotta have a dream. Also WHITE HOUSE CZARS!!!! Abolished by Executive Order. *poof*

Quite a job-creation platform there.

Fantasia Upon A Theme of Presidential Balls, with gas-bag solo.

Fantasy/Fantasia

I think we owe each other a pint, Brit.

I am coming to the conclusion that Callista Gingrich is in fact a CGI projection.

I am so stealing that…

So basically, President Newt will govern by fiat.

You might as well not bother voting downticket—he’ll do it all by Executive Order.

I think we owe each other a pint, Brit.

Creme de menthe? Christmas supplies are getting low. Ah no, here’s the sekrit beer stash.

And here’s to Newt Gingrich never being your president!

The reason I’m comfortable telling you all what I’m going to do as President, is that I’ve been studying. Because I’m a thinker. I have ideas. I promise you my life, my fortune~~~that portion of it not dedicated to buying bling for younger, cuter, citizens~~~~~and my sacred hon~~~

~~Calista, stop raking my back with your nails. Not now!

Jeebus, Newt is surpassing his own hideous self. “You might have noticed that President Obama has declared war on the Catholic Church….The first thing I will do as President is repeal every anti-religion” law/policy thingie blah blah blah. Creepy as hell.

This has been another edition of Larkspur States The Obvious.

So, much has been made in the past couple of days of the parallels (which we’ve already noted here) between this primary and the Dems’ one in ‘08.

How long do you think it’ll be before Gingrich, on being challenged as to why he won’t just concede to reality, says something like, “Well, anything can happen in an electoral campaign. Candidates can have ... accidents. As my friend Crusher here will vouchsafe”?

Yay! RON PAUL!!!

Of all the candidates, Paul is the only one who seems to be enjoying the hell out of himself.

It wouldn’t matter if he came in last in a three-legged race, it would still be a victory for Liberty.

So all Newt’s moonwalking pandermonkey act was for nought:

With over 90 percent of precincts reporting, Romney is leading Newt Gingrich 43 percent to 33 percent in Brevard County, the home of Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center.

The overall results are stuck around Mitt 46.6%, Newt 31.8%. It looks like Mitt’s not going to break the 50% threshold that would give him an unchallengeable claim on all FL’s electoral votes, if by some weird fluke this race ever became competitive again.

The Freepers (including the incredibly whiny JimBob) aren’t taking this at all well:

Both parties are driving us toward socialism it’s just that one party is driving a little faster than the other. If obama is reelected the fault lands squarely at the feet of the GOP for not supporting a true conservative. I will not vote for a RINO and if obama is reelected because of a third party then I’m ready to rip off the band-aid and have this revolution. I can fight for my children’s freedoms. If I help elect a RINO then my children will have to fight for their own freedoms. I’d rather do that for them.

And this thread there didn’t last long before being zotted:

Dear JimSlob & Freak Republic: How does it feel to be irrelevant? Mitt is the nominee. CHOKE ON IT!!
01 February 2012 03:28:52 · by srm913 · 7 replies
Thank you, FR, for the truly marvelous entertainment. While lurking tonight for the first time in ages, the amount of schadenfreude I’m experiencing is bordering on orgasmic. Y’all have a blessed day. I certainly will!

The MSNBC crew are calling out Newt Gingrich on his contemptuous references to the President’s singing: Minstrelsy, anybody?

The MSNBC crew are calling out Newt Gingrich on his contemptuous references to the President’s singing

I think it’s merciful that Newt had to high-tail it out of FL and on to the venue of his next drubbing before he started in on Bo. The guy is fueled by 100-octane spite (not even a fleeting pro forma congratulation of the winner).

Kind of reminds me of another GOP loser who just can’t let go of the Obama infatuation.

Romney is leading Newt Gingrich 43 percent to 33 percent in Brevard County, the home of Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center.

So the whole “fly me to the moon” schtick didn’t work, I see.

Nice to see that Palin’s endorsement still carries some weight.

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