Football Funnies with Matt Taibbi

Taibbi writing about the NFL draft at True/Slant:

Anyway one of the things I do every year after the draft is wake up early on the Monday after and run a Google News search on the terms “football” and “like a sponge.” Then I count how many new NFL draftees in their initial conference calls with their new teams’ beat reporters say something along the lines of, “I’m just going to be like a sponge out there, soaking up whatever the coaches teach me.” Last year the number surpassed 20 for what I think was the first time. You tend to hear it more from the guys who have been coached a lot by agents, high draft picks especially, guys who need to be taught not to say things like, “I just can’t wait to sign my deal, buy an Escalade and get laid.”

He loves football, too. Is there any doubt that he’s the second coming of Hunter S. Thompson now?

Posted by Kevin K. on 04/25/09 at 05:54 PM • Permalink

Categories: Knee Slappers • Sports •

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Dear Lions, Rams, and Chefs,

Muchas, muchas gracias.

Sincerely,
Seahawks

Comment by Pumalicious! on 04/26/09 at 12:43 AM

Ha, love the sponge comment. He’s absolutely right about the agent-coaching.

A prediction: The Lions’ pick of Stafford (and the possible $78M contract!) will come to be seen as a Ryan Leaf-level folly.

Comment by Betty Cracker on 04/26/09 at 06:20 AM

i’ll have to see copious drug usage references to the brink of oblivion before i can say 2nd coming.
but i do love reading the guy’s shit in RS; and his book of last year “the great derangement” (now available in paperback…) was just fucking treemenjous!
so, as long as we’re on the subject of HST, check out his collection of espn.com columns in “hey rube”, you get his sports take butt also his predictions on world doings before and thru 9/11 & iraq. it’s the HST diamond in the ruff.

ruff, ruff,
db dogg

Comment by dead bob on 04/26/09 at 07:52 AM

It’s funny, because he says he’s always aimed to rip off H.L. Mencken, not Thompson, and concludes that he must really suck since no one ever gets that.

Comment by Balls McCartney on 04/26/09 at 08:06 AM

Let us hope they are anti-bacterial sponges.

Am still recovering from the Jets’ Mark Sanchez pick. Didn’t see that coming. Really hope it works out for Gang Green but…

Did you see the hysterical Times article the other day about why it would be disastrous for the Lions to take Stafford? Clearly they didn’t.

Comment by J. on 04/26/09 at 08:33 AM

Did you see the hysterical Times article the other day about why it would be disastrous for the Lions to take Stafford? Clearly they didn’t.

Yeah, but they’ve got a new scarier logo now, so does it really matter?

Comment by Kevin K. on 04/26/09 at 10:00 AM

Up until a year ago, Taibbi was still writing a sports column for the Boston Phoenix that I’m surprised nobody talked about because it was hilarious. He’s also played professional basketball ... in Mongolia.

Comment by tas on 04/26/09 at 10:50 AM

Yeah, but they’ve got a new scarier logo now, so does it really matter?

Good point, Kevin. Thanks for straightening me out. I momentarily forgot Fernando’s words of wisdom that it is better to look good than to be good.

Comment by J. on 04/26/09 at 10:58 AM

Am still recovering from the Jets’ Mark Sanchez pick. Didn’t see that coming. Really hope it works out for Gang Green but…

Five reasons to be very nervous:

1. Matt Leinart
2. Rob Johnson
3. Rodney Peete
4. Todd Marinovich
5. Probably Carson Palmer

Comment by Pumalicious! on 04/26/09 at 11:09 AM

Heh.

Is there a sports-related event that is overanalyzed to a worse degree than the NFL draft? Someone needs to take Mel Kiper Jr. and his hairdo and lock him up in a dark room somewhere.

Comment by The prophet Nostradumbass on 04/26/09 at 12:29 PM

Matt Leinart

Ouch. Yet one more reason I’m glad I’m not a Cardinals fan anymore (regardless of making it to the Super Bowl last year).

Then again, now I’m a Jets fan, so ...FUCK!

God, I hate football.

Comment by Kevin K. on 04/26/09 at 01:39 PM

I hate to be a contrarian, but I consider Taibbi more of a vulgarian than a gonzo journalist. Nothing against vulgarians, I just never quite understood why people compare him to Hunter S.