Galt’s Greasepit

Since the Kenyan Usurper's re-election, a bunch of wealthy "Jerb Creaters" has decided to "Go Galt" in order to punish the American people for their temerity to buck the wishes of their rightful overlords. In perhaps the silliest of these threatened layoffs is the promise from Applebees' franchise-owner Zane Tankel to freeze hiring at his forty Applebees locations. Mr. Tankel's main beef with Obama is that the Sinister Kenyan would force Mr. Tankel to **GASP** insure his employees. Why should Mr. Tankel be forced to spend money on his food-handling employees to keep them healthy? Chronically diseased food service workers have been part of the American experience for centuries- insisting on a healthy workforce is positively un-American.

Mr Tankel is vowing to freeze hiring and to cut back his current employees' hours, thus ensuring that they won't be able to afford to eat at casual dining establishments such as Applebees. Mr Tankel's decision not to expand his operations in the New York Metropolitan Area is a major blow to the region, because there are very inexpensive restaurants in New York City. Also, if Applebees restaurants in New York City are understaffed, who will restock the salad bars that so many hard-working office drones depend on for their mid-day repasts? BOBO WEEPS!

Finally, Applebee's is America's Neighborhood Grill and Bar. If these American grill-and-bars close, New York's neighborhood bars will be taken over by sinister foreigners with strange, almost unpronounceable names like Declan and Patrick. We can't let that happen, just because another sinister foreigner is trying to force healthcare costs onto a hapless millionaire! Remember, folks, tyranny starts with something small, like a pre-broken healthcare system designed by right-wing think tank staffers. If that is unopposed, then the government will implement even greater affronts... why, they may even insist that minimum wage standards are upheld.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 11/12/12 at 09:17 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12Health CareNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

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Something tells me this won’t work out quite the way he thinks it will. In fact, it sounds like the beginning of the end for Applebee’s if he’s not careful. There’s always some other chain ready to take its place….

Just like David Brooks, I’ve never set foot in an Applebees. I’m visiting NYC in a few months on vacation, and honestly never stopped to consider whether the region had any Applebees.

What was this CEO’s point again?

You know what customers love—understaffed restaurants where they have to wait forever.  The word-of-mouth on places where people sit at a table for 15-20 mins without anyone checking in is phenomenal.  A lot of people think frozen, reheated chain restaurant food tastes even better when it is cold. No one ever returns those meals, and there’s hardly ever any money running out the dorr when standards start to drop.

These guys. There is fail upon them.  Mene mene tekel ufucknuts.

We call it Crapplebee’s for a reason around these here parts. 

All chain eateries should be avoided on general principle, but this guy is asking for an aggressive shunning…

Already the right-wingers are spinning this as “Obama’s Job Carnage”.  Job carnage, my ass, the last thing this country needs is more minimum-wage, no-benefits McJobs, courtesy of right-wing assholes.  Now there’s a backlash to the backlash.  Maybe the American Enterprise Institute can bus teabaggers to the NY Metro Area so they can “save” Tankel.

“Cutting off the nose to spite the face” is an expression used to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem: “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” is a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one’s anger.  Thanks, Wikipedia!

Ah yes! that’s the entrepeneurial spirit that made this great country so shiny, up on its hill . . .

I want a backlash against the backlash that left the other backs lashed and lashed good. And when we aren’t lashing backs with lashes made of the sinews of dead chain restaurant workers who were so damned uppity anyway, I’ll just ... ummm ... what the fuck were we talking about?

The thing that annoys me about this and the Papa Murphy’s boycott and all is that I never went to these restaurants in the first place.

The last time I was in an an Applebee’s was in Laramie, WY. Now, Laramie has some really good non-chain restaurants, but it was late Monday evening and nearly everything else was closed. I can’t imagine going to any chain restaurant in NYC since you can get good food any time of the day or night.

The thing that annoys me about this and the Papa Murphy’s boycott and all is that I never went to these restaurants in the first place.

Papa John’s boycott.  Papa Murphy’s is take and bake, and is a LOT better then Papa John’s

Papa Murphy’s is take and bake, and is a LOT better then Papa John’s

My mistake, pardon.

The thing that really annoys me is that I get the boycott targets wrong.

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