Glenn Beck Leaves Fox to Spend More Time with His Tragic Career Arc

First, he was an obnoxious asshole who once called a critic’s wife on the phone to mock her recent miscarriage on-air. Then he turned into Howard Beale with Asperger’s. Today he exits Fox’s 5PM slot to launch a subscriber-only “Jonestown on the Internet” where he can careen down the corridors of madness unimpeded by corporate management or crippling sponsor boycotts.

I’m liking Kiefer Sutherland to star in the biopic of Beck’s long, sad slide into paranoid isolation and his inevitable attempt to kidnap a sitting President. Anyone have a better casting call?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/30/11 at 09:47 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersOur Stupid Media

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Mel Gibson

Sutherland is a little too sexy. We need a shlub to pull this off. Maybe a peroxided Paul Giamatti?

peroxided Paul Giamatti

Perfect for “old” Glenn, especially during the climactic hostage-taking sequence.

Who could play him as a young Morning Zoo shithead…assuming we can’t CGI about 30 years off Will Ferrell?

Yes. Philip Seymour Hoffman is good at playing sad and pathetic characters with creepy sadistic tendencies.
Actually scratch that. Too much talent. Keifer would give an appropriately lack-lustre performance.

PS: Whoever’s cooking a post in the back office, feel free to crush me.

I was thinking Andy Richter, in a startling cast-against-type on the order of Andy Griffith in A Face in the Crowd, Jerry Lewis in The King of Comedy, etc., etc.

$99.95 a year to watch Beck snivel and rant? That’s got to be a lot of his target audience members’ entire cat food budget.

Jeremy Renner, but he’d have to sit around and let himself go to pot for about six months after The Avengers wraps.

Jesus, I really thought about this, just now.

Gilbert Gottfried because I can’t stand him either.

Jared Loughner.

Would that J. T. Walsh were alive in this hour.

Jiminy Glick.

Glenn sure has a purty mouth…...

Giovanni Ribisi if he puts on some weight. He’s already a Scientologist, so he’s got some mileage on the Crazy Train under his belt.

I vote for Tony Shalhoub, kinda like Dan Ackroyd playing Nixon:

Sir Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?

Fred Kwan: Sure, they’re like three years old.

Sir Alexander Dane: MINERS, not MINORS.

Fred Kwan: You lost me.

Strange best extra points for the sublime beauty of “Jonestown on the Internet”.  Perfect!

Giovanni Ribisi if he puts on some weight. He’s already a Scientologist, so he’s got some mileage on the Crazy Train under his belt.

Of the ones here, this is my pick.  Ribisi’s a great actor, and could easily play that erratic, almost-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown type thing… and the scientology factor can’t hurt (probably helps!).  Plus they both have that downward eye slant on the outer corners.

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