Tom, I started trying to learn the violin at 18. I even have an electric Zeta jazz fiddle. I use it now to chunk cashews.

PS: Robert Johnson-era blues is good, too. The Blues didn’t NEED lead guitarists. In fact, Eric Clapton needed the Blues more than the Blues needed Eric Clapton. (And Cream was ALL Jack Bruce on base, anyway.)

Something tells me I’m probably not helping, but my intentions are noble.

Oh, and did I type “base”? DUH.

Tom, don’t listen to that guy—-just cut the two bottom strings off, and you have a big ukulele!

Much easier.

What a nice tune, btw. Welcome to the front page!

Good luck from someone with all the musical talent of a moldy cucumber. As someone who dwells with a drummer, you may have extended your life span by a few decades.

Welcome aboard. Also. The womenfolk will be around with sammiches in a bit. Youbetcha.

Polly, God knows I want Tom to succeed and be the BEST DAMN GUITARIST he can be.

It’s not his fault I chose an instrument with no frets and a fucking horsehair bow you can only learn how to use correctly while standing on a tree-stump on one leg as Mr. Miyagi beats you over the head with a “Here Comes the Judge” pig-bladder-on-a-stick.

I apologize for projecting my 36 years of weeping aloud every time I hear “Battle of New Orleans” or “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” onto a good and decent man with a noble dream, who just happens to own a fucking kick-ass, to-die-for instrument that makes a wonderful sound even when you drop it on the floor.

Oh yes, the sidebar’s down there \/

Which I did on my maiden post, twice, I believe. I had to republish it several times before it didn’t look like it was typed by chickadees hopping on the keyboard.

Probably the YouTube screen is a mite too large. If you go back and get the next size down, the sidebar will probably get over itself and come home. I don’t have the skeleton key, so either you or Kevin can edit it. Everybody’s still asleep, I think, anyhow.

What’s a would-be guitarist doing posting things before 8 on a Saturday morning anyway?

PS: Somehow, I didn’t realize this was your inaugural front-page post, Tom. Bravo!

It’s a heady experience, I know. But don’t accept the first offer from BuzzFlash, KOS or HuffPo. They’ve been choking my inbox since Thursday, but until I hear “profit participation” or “group health plan,” I’m sticking with Rumproast, Axelrod and the whole “Post-For-Free-and-Win-a-National-Civilian-Security-Fo rce-Uniform-WITH-Boots” program.

When the shit hits the fan, money won’t matter. But a form-fitting tunic-and-trousers with real “snap” and “dash” will get you just about anything you want, I’m thinking.

Strange, I know nobody could desire Tom’s entry into the sacred realm of music makers rather than just being another Ipod-wearing, Mp3-sucking sponge more than yourself.

Three lessons on the violin were enough for me to know that it was hopeless. Even on the piano, where all the notes are laid out for you right there, I caused my teacher’s eyes to narrow when she looked at me, and her lips to set in a little thin blue line.

So Salute, Tom! Your lessons would necessarily have to go better! I’m sure nobody will beat you with a pig bladder. Fairly sure.

I’m sure nobody will beat you with a pig bladder.

Unless you enjoy that sort of thing. Really, we’re all open-minded folks here who want you to be happy.

Now, if you want the pig bladder treatment while it’s still attached to the pig, that might be a problem ... Nope, we didn’t take down the block and tackle after the ... Well, you’ll find out.

And I’m sure we still have a few pigs even though some of us got a bit carried away during ... I won’t say anything else lest I ruin the surprise.

Just say the word!

HTP, SSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

We don’t want to scare ‘em off while the escape clause is still—you know!!

(I don’t think Strange is, um, apprised of that little clause either, and the clock is tick-tick-ticking!)

SO!  You live with a drummer?  My word!! However do you manage? Earplugs?

Tom, congrats on the post and guitar.

I used to kinda play many years ago.  I actually still own 2 guitars and am still seeking the time/motivation to get back to it.  You’re only a little younger than me and that gives me hope :-)

Late to the party here. Have we got to the bit where we beat him over the head with a pig’s bladder yet?

Of course I jumped right into the deep end, buying a guitar that most experienced players would kill for (a Rickenbacker 620).

I believe it’s traditional in geetarist circles for someone to say at this point, “This statement is nothing without photos.”

As you join the serried ranks of music-makers, a treasury of mirth now opens up before you:

How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune ?
Evidently all of them.

Why are a violinist’s fingers like lightning?
They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Why was the piano invented?
So the the rest of the band would have a place to put their beer.

What’s the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.

How can you tell when a drummer’s at your door?
The knocking gets faster.

What’s black and blue and lies in a ditch?
A guitarist who told too many drummer jokes.

And congrats on your inaugural post!

How can you tell when a drummer’s at your door?
The knocking gets faster.

{The following jokes were told to me by a drummer, don’t beat me up}:

Q. What does it mean when a drummer knocks on your door?

A. Pizza’s here.

Q. What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?

A. Homeless.

Uh…Maybe they’re funnier when a drummer tells them.

Polly, God knows I want Tom to succeed and be the BEST DAMN GUITARIST he can be.

I was in the music playing business for about 7 years back in my twenties, and dammit, I always said, there certainly is a huge shortage of guitar players.

I mean, you need at least three of them to have a really groovy combo, and it’s fun to watch them all turn it up and try to drown each other out.

Since I have some experience in the area, you should post a picture of yourself, and I’ll let you know if your hair is cool enough to play guitar.

I suggest bleach and ringlets for a newcommer.

PS if you want to do the world a favor, learn Bass, most Bass players are unfortunately frustrated guitar players and have a sense of rhythm almost as bad as keyboard players, but you’re a drummer, so you already know that.

Tom isn’t G#m a bar chord, meaning the index finger goes across all the strings and the ring and pinkie finger hit two strings a couple frets down.

I would suggest starting with Motown tunes.  They’ll lead to confidence.  Otis Redding, “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” trust me no more that three or four chords.

besides it’s better than looking at a chords book and just strumming the same chords over and over.

Yup, it’s a bar chord, but I have trouble hitting it cleanly when coming from an E chord.

Your guitar tutor will no doubt work on that with you, but:

(a) It’s almost as important to practice transitions between chords as it is holding down a clean chord.

(b) It’ll be easier if you use a modified fingering for the E chord (if you don’t already) using pinky, ring, and middle finger rather than the usual index, middle and ring fingers.