...Somerby was subsequently hauled off to the Granite Tower state mental hospital…

Maybe Somerby should relax and unwind a little. But where, oh where?

Wow, I had to click through to make sure that wasn’t another parody. Glad I came! ha ha! I said… oh forget it.

Somerby has become the Gregg Easterbrook (as TMQ) of media outrage: started out fresh with something to say, but then someone stole all of the keys off his keyboard except for Cut and Paste.

Tom, look what you’ve started!

I hope they don’t take him to Streamwood.

Or Morning Wood

I’m sorry everybody. Yes, I realize I’ve taken all the fun out of sex.

Meanwhile, a wider perspective. All through the 1990s, liberals and progressives sat back and took it while Clinton, then Gore, were relentlessly savaged. (George Bush ended up in the White House.) Now, progressives sit back and take it again, as this pair of simpering chimps make a joke of “progressive” news programs.

This paragraph makes no sense either. Obama is getting “relentlessly savaged” by FOX News and rightwing media, but Somerby is hung up on dick jokes on MSNBC. Has Somerby even watched one Glenn Beck show yet?  I’m too lazy to go through his “incomparable archives,” but I haven’t seen him take on Beck or Hannity for pumping up the anger in the teabaggers using tons of falsehoods.

Nonsense, Bob—you pulled that off well!  I could barely swallow my laughter.

Sean, I usually spit my laughter.

Somerby claims he’s focusing on progressive media because it holds the key to reform. This is from yesterday’s screed:

People have asked in recent weeks: Why have we been criticizing emerging “progressive” media? (Olbermann and Maddow, to cite two examples.) Easy! We’ve criticized emerging progressive media because progressive media matters! On balance, the mainstream press corps has been a disaster for years; the conservative press is a loud, screaming joke. If the public will ever get the chance to benefit from trustworthy media, that opportunity will most likely have to come from emerging “progressive” entities.

As Americans—as progressives, as liberals, as centrists, as Democrats, as responsible conservatives—we can’t afford to let these new entities adopt the broken cultural practices which have driven so much of our existing press corps over the past twenty years.

And yet, everywhere we look, we see emerging progressive entities which seem to be aping Sean Hannity. In the ened, they come down “on your side.” But they treat you like fools in the process.

In our view, this is unacceptable as a basic moral matter. You simply can’t build a progressive politics by letting a bunch of upper-class kids disinform average people. Beyond that, we suspect this approach is extremely foolish as a matter of basic politics. Conservative bull-roar worked well for years for a basic reason: Because the mainstream press was frequently willing to pimp it. (Al Gore said he invented the Internet!) But unless our society fully collapses, the mainstream press will likely be an upper-class institution for decades to come. It’s unlikely this group will ever want to recite gong-show tales from the left. Silly tales have worked well—for the other side. Unless society collapses, they won’t likely work well for us.

I’m not sure why he thinks the mainstream press would be unwilling to recite “gong-show tales from the left” while being perfectly willing to pimp wingnut memes (which usually originate from mainstream, ostensibly non-wingnut sources anyway—see Dowd, Maureen).

To me, the bottom line is that political commentary is entertainment. And guess what, if you read Benjamin Franklin’s pre-Revolutionary pamphlets, it was then too! (Though dick jokes were sadly missing…) Doesn’t Somerby know that? Jesus.

So ... umm ... do his readers really need such a serious lesson in double entendres?

I mean, this guy is like the Sage of Charlestown right? You’d think he’d be able to attract folks who have some sense of sarcasm, good-natured fun poking and sophomoric mockery ... right? RIGHT?

Alas no Humboldt…I don’t think footnotes would help his crowd…

Do I understand that Somerby sometimes writes for Bill Maher, among others?

Does he think that progressives live in a sex- and bodily secretion-free bubble of some kind, sipping organic herbal teas while lounging on lavender-scented fainting couches, classical music playing gently in the background?

The progressives I know eat, drink, shit and fuck and are well acquainted with all doo-doo pee-pee joke traditions.

Do I understand that Somerby sometimes writes for Bill Maher, among others?

He’s been a guest on Maher’s Politcally Incorrect, but I don’t think he writes for him. I believe I’ve read that he’s written for The Tonight Show. I guess he may be angling for a writing gig with Red Eye.

Apparently, Somerby’s readers are 5 year olds, recent immigrants, and octogenarian members of the Opus Dei. I’m pretty sure everyone else gets the double entendres without the assistance of Magna Cum Laude Harvard grad and professional comedian Bob Somerby.

Anyone catch Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s comments about secession?

Sorry if this is off topic but you have to check out this guy pwning some Pensacola Tea Baggers and the sad part about it is they don’t even realize it until it’s too late!

I find it hilarious that Lambert and co. now view Somerby’s word as scripture.  Mindless contrarianism, now that’s progressive. 

Oh, and quelle!

There’s no way Texas is going to secede of course but just in case I think the Obama administration should leak plans to build a border fence

Oops, build a border fence around it.  Have to protect our southern border against infiltration by dangerous extremists. And if any Texans slip through I will not call them undocumented immigrants.  They’re illegals, goddammit!

I would find it more satisfying to declare war on Texas.  Make an example of them for any who dare follow in their path.  Ruthlessly bomb their infrastructure.  Blockade their harbors.  Seize their natural resources.  Impose a reconstruction government made up entirely of naturalized Mexicans and blacks.

Don’t mess with the USA, mofos.

That’s not very sensible, Allan.  We would first need to impose crippling sanctions, declare the entire country a no fly zone and send in the inspectors.  They can sell oil for food but that’s it.  Only after about 12 years of that kind of tough love will they be ready to greet us as liberators and only then will I vote to give President Michelle Obama authorization to declare war in order to maintain my own viability as a presidential candidate.

Jean Shepherd(of ‘A Christmas Story’ fame)once said(I paraphrase) he feared that Lenny Bruce’s act would lead to “unhip” people being sent to Nazi-style gas chambers.  Somerby appears to be heading where Shepherd went.

I guess Somerby’s so hung up on Gore he’s trying to restart the PMRC.

So I was leafing through the archives (incomparably tedious, am I right, folks?) and I’m a little confused. Lemme get this straight—in addition to waging war against double entendres, is he actually defending Senator Bank Run and the Teabaggers from the nefarious Dr. Maddow? Seriously?

I mean, I like Olbermann, but I understand where people who don’t are coming from. Maddow, though? The only way she could be more awesome is if she had side-mounted rocket launchers.

I love how, now that the GOP’s incapable of mounting a credible opposition, Dems are perfectly happy to step in and do it for them. They’re like the bulldozer operator in Hitchhiker’s Guide.