Polling’s now closed in 40 states, and Dick Morris just tweeted he’s “worried” about Florida.

How do you think Joe Scarborough’ll look with a tache?

Joe Scarborough?  Seedy. But not especially more so.

Something tells me one of these two men just may win the presidency.

until CNN stops telling us to ignore their own exit polls

Well, they can’t go on giving good advice for long.  It’s CNN, after all.

C’mon, Virginia!  Deliver the Old Dominion for Obama, Kaine, and the Donks!

Let’s hear it for Linda McMahon having successfully unburdened herself of tens of millions in another unsuccessful senate bid.

Something tells me one of these two men just may win the presidency.

Madness.  Stein for president!  SPARKLY PURITY PONIES FOR EVERYBODY!

Looks like Warren in Ma.

Something tells me one of these two men just may win the presidency.

In a few states, Romney’s absolutely trouncing McCain.

Looking good for Elizabeth Warren, and say howdy to Independent Angus King, who’s taken Olympia Snowe’s seat.

I have to keep reminding myself to take early numbers with a grain—they don’t favor O.  But I’ve already had my high-protein supper, taken the longest praticible bath, and only just now cracked open the booze: may be a long evening.

Looks like Warren in Ma.

And that’s the first JINX! of the night.

Drink! Oh. I already am.

Time to look out the whisky? I’ll hate myself in the morning, but heck, what’s new?

Let’s hear it for Linda McMahon

And for the first line in my pool with my wingnut buddy!  2012 is my revenge year for him running the table on me in 2010.  That’s the first $5 of the $50 I’m taking off of him tonight!  Yay Murphy!

Angus King won in Maine! Angus King won in Maine!

Who the fuck is Angus King?

Obama carrying Pennsylvania—and I helped. Well, I voted.

Also, Casey is returning for a second term—awesome! The war on coal continues! (*From an actual campaign sign from his opponent.)

Michigan’s trees didn’t think Mitt was the right height. There was apparently a deathly hush in the Romney salon when it was announced. Public Policy Polling’s twistin the knife, saying it was never in play, just a hotbed of bad pollsters (which I think will end up being the running theme of this election).

And it looks like Obama’s taken PA.

Who the fuck is Angus King?

He’s Maine’s new Independent senator, was once governor there, expected to caucus with the Dems.

Stabenow staying, and looks like Baldwin is in in WI—very big yay.

Asshole Assholeson’s about to be mobbed by that “Nate Silver Wrong” dude:

And Klobuchar (no, the feminist isn’t just cheering women in the senate. Okay I lie—I am.)

I don’t know about you, Mister President, and I think I can speak for everyone in the room, but I’m just barely holding my fudge.
—paraphrased from Dr Strangelove. This one’s for you, Strange.

Well, Vixen, it appears that New Hampshire has thrown off the great gonad cloak it has worn for decades and went straight Uterine—two women senators and a woman as gov and two others poised to win house seats

Huh—speaking of WI—I wonder how Ryan’s House race is going….

Oops. Looks like Mitt can say by-bye to WI.

Mitt charged the press $1,000 apiece for the privilege of sharing this evening with him. They were reportedly mighty miffed when the buffet was whisked away at 7pm.

Wonder if he’s now writing a concession speech, or if he’s going to wing it? Or, of course, just not bother conceding.

kre8tr - I thought that was from Buckaroo Banzai.

Florida is so close.  I mean, really Florida!

no, the feminist isn’t just cheering women in the senate. Okay I lie—I am.

Phooey, that sausage fest needs moar wimmins.  I am a man, and I approve this gender treason.

Strange voted, but I could’t; too late to get an absentee ballot. However, I persuaded Mr. P. To vote for the President for me, instead of throwing his glowly sparkle pony support to My Little Jill.

He did, however, throw away his senatorial vote on the Greens, so all is not won after all! Yay!
They’re tied at 153, but Pennsylvania made Romney spend all that time on her for NOTHING, the little tease!

Crapsticks—Twitter is telling me neither Warren nor Baldwin was called yet.

Doh! It is. Started drinking after I voted and turned on CNN. Mea culpa!

You know, I’m beginning to wonder if these intertubes are really all that accurate, at times.

I am happily floored by Wisconsin!

They’ve called it for Warren and Tammy Baldwin! Smart ladies win, even non-traditional ladies who like other ladies, wooooohooooooo

kre8tr - I use that line all the time, that’s how I knew. Cheers!

Is there any word on Akin?

Hey-up. Looks like you can start referring to Congressman Alan Grayson again.

Bill, the motherfucker, O’Reilly has a serious ad ....

via Salon

The Fox News “personality” said tonight that Hurricane Sandy trumps the attacks on Benghazi as a political hot topic (and thus helps Obama) because in the case of Sandy, “there were pictures.”

This followed his earlier comment that “Obama wins because it’s not a traditional America anymore,” he said. “The white establishment is the minority. People want things.”

Our old friend Glenn Greenwald took to Twitter to note, “Hope it won’t be forgotten: Bill O’Reilly spouted extraordinary Stormfront-level racism on national TV tonight.”

Okay, now I’ve got CBS calling Warren—satisfied.

Good on, my home state, Pennsylvania!

Congressman Alan Grayson

GLEE.  Now, if I can refer to Senator-Elect Kaine and President-re-Elect Obama, the evening will be a smashing success.

Sherrod Brown sent that mewling little fucker, Josh Mandel to go get his fucking shine box

It seems Mr. God-given Rape Mourdock has lost his bid to become a Senator

Fox news called Wisconsin for Obama. Joe Kennedy the III is headed to Congtress

I like the looks of Obama’s CO lead.

I sure as hell hope Mourdock is in the shit-can. I live in Indiana now and hate that piece of misogynistic crap. He can take his gift from god and shove it up HIS vagina, or whatever.

Also—Allen West lost, which is kind of a win for sanity, yeah?

Yeah New Hampshire!  We wanted a clean sweep of New England.

Alan West is gone? So much good news tonight!

It seems Mr. God-given Rape Mourdock has lost his bid to become a Senator

Strange, it is wonderful to have your snark back amongst the rumper room.  We’ve missed you.

GO, ‘Bama!

Well, West was down pending my next Twitter refresh.

Shit—currently West is up 50.1-49.7.  Am going to stop relying on Twitter as auxiliary brain.

O wins NH, another state Mitt had been spending his last ditch efforts on~~it’s as if Mitt has been driving them away. America must have realized that the model Mitt seemed to be before the first debate was what would actually come in the box.

FOX commenters distressed about the Pretend Cherokee, and yes they called her that.

OMG, Romney won Utah!

whisky it is, then.

I’ve got two snorts of the Dalwhinnie left, and those are being saved for a smiling Obama holding an iPad over his head with the Unskewed Polls banner “ROMNEY DEFEATS OBAMA” proudly displayed.

I’m into the Starr Hill Northern Lights at the moment.  Think globally, drink locally, and all that.  Plus, damn, those hippies know their beer.  It’s so good, I may have to punch myself.

So that was Liz Cheney~~I should have known from the chitinous plates and powerful mandibles.

Also, Jinx, Brit. Also, I owe you many drinks.

Akin goes down! Prolly for the first time in his life!

McKaskill won in Mizzou!

Not a good year for rape-apologists.  McCaskill projected winner over Akin.

BRACE!!!!

Medical MJ in MA! Woot!

Non-medical marijuana use in California! Woot! (cough, cough)

Also, Jinx, Brit.

Neat! I can have that shot I was saving for West.

I’m into the Starr Hill Northern Lights at the moment.

I’m just breaking into a bottle of Glenmorangie for a good old Scottish “hauf an’ hauf” (whisky and beer, separate glasses, we’re not heathens). I’m going to have to take this veeeeery carefully.

Kirsten Giilibrand routed a FOX News blonde-look-a-like

Tammy Duckworth wins!

Twitter *told* me Liz Cheney looked pissy tonight—to me she always looks like she ate a rat and it wasn’t even cooked the way she prefers #farbissina.

Poor Laura Ingraham ....

Losing Wisconsin…so much for Paul Ryan delivering the state. I was wrong on this one. The Scott Walker magic didn’t translate.

Women seem to have a biological defense that shuts down rapologist Republicans right quick~~

Wait! It’s the Half-Been, and she is so distressed that the Constitution says that we’ll have a budget, and now with Barack Obama, we won’t! You just leave it all on the ice, like a granny with a voucher.

Guess who?

@Vixen: HA!  Liz was lucky enough to get her father’s winning deMEANor.

Get it?  Mean?  The Cheneys are not nice people, is the gag.

Prez leads by 90K in Ohio

Scott Walker magic

Shome mishtake shurely.

Florida! Via Salon

Florida votes down anti-choice Amendment 6

According to CNN, voters in Florida have rejected a ballot measure which would remove women’s right to reproductive “privacy” from the state’s constitution.

“By preserving women’s reproductive rights under the Florida state constitution, women and families will continue to have all options available to them so they can make the best health care decisions for their circumstances,” said Nancy Northup, president and CEO at the Center for Reproductive Rights, following the news Tuesday.

Amendment 6, proposed by GOP state legislators, would have enabled the state to enforce a host of possible abortion restrictions and laws.

As our own Irin Carmon has previously noted , anti-abortion proponents rarely succeed with ballot measures.

Huh, whodathunk it, white evangelicals over 55 are voting for Romney at an 80-percent rate

My 14-year-old kid is crowing about the FL totals. She and I canvassed this weekend, and she reckons we made a difference. :-)

CBS News calls VA-Sen for Tim Kaine

Trying to confirm.  PLEASEOHPLEASE

It’s getting bitter over at Foxville:

YAFB—it’s about 4:30 AM your time, yes? As much as you seem to be an American political aficionado, I am likewise an Anglophile. Hope that Glenmorangie is going down smoothly. I think I’ll try some Dewars (the Maccallan is sadly gone) with a Harp lager and hang in til the naughty bits in this election are exposed.

Rove is starting the strip-tease.

Minnesota called for obama.

Looks like Axelrod’s mustache is safe… *whew*

But Bachmann won

There goes AZ. Ach well.

YAFB—it’s about 4:30 AM your time, yes?

3.45, but who’s counting! I have the indescribably cheery BBC and a cat and your good selves for company, may never have to think about, let alone blog about, Mitt Romney again (after a concerted bout of gloating), and the Glenmorangie’s slipping down a treat, thanks.

Rove is starting the strip-tease.

You’re gonna need that Dewars.

Slainte!

But Bachmann won

You can’t be serious?

For irony fans:

Slainte!

Cheers, old bean!  *clang*

TPM and CBS each have Kaine with a ~20K lead with 86% reporting.  Come ooooonnnnn….

Mitt, Roy Orbison is warming up.

I may be wrong about Bachmann, not sure yet

Keith Ellison wins easily

And Tammy Duckworth absolutely hammered that motherfucking gobshite Joe Walsh

Here ya go:

So far, Romney still in the lead.

I’m going to be sick.

Only real “upset” so far: Romney takes NC.

YAFB, my man, it is scotch o’ clock!  The first one is for Senator-Elect Kaine.  Suck it, Allen, you horrible shitkicker.

So far, Romney still in the lead.

It’s the way the state calls line up, favoring Romney initially, domynoe. Stay frosty.

Well, there ya go. Thanks, YAFB. The Chupacabra Macaca guy is out…again.  Timmeh! (South Park accent)

Since when did Susan Estrich turn into Carol Channing?

This is a biggie:

I’m trying, but just the THOUGHT of a Romney win scares the crap out of me.

Domynoe, 55 votes from Cali sitting there, plus Washington and Oregon and Colorado

Boo!

It’s over, Obama wins, Dems do pretty well in Senate but fuck up the house. There will be blood!

NBC calls Ohio for Obama.

re-election!

Ohio just went for Bammers, game, set and motherfucking match!

FOX projects Obama winning Ohio! If Hume’s face were any longer, he could wipe his feet on it.

I have 14 votes in my pocket… It’s over.

Okay, this night didn’t feel all that long, then.

This is great news ... for John McCain!

Sorry, that wasn’t Strange, that was me. He’s signed in on his computer, and I was on my smartphone.

Woah! That was too fast. Remember to vote again tomorrow. You can never be sure.

Jon Stewart has called it for Obama!

As have Fox and CNN!

I am so beyond relieved right now.

Now my son and my daughter and most of my friends will hate me because I voted for Obama. Hell to pay for not teaching them well. On the other hand, I feel total relief. They never realized what was good for them.

I am thrilled to be able to be thrilled to say that this drink is to the President.

*CLANG*

And now, to cheering.  Perhaps I’ll nutpick some Red State, just for giggles.

Take THAT, Rove.

Strange has been snoozing on andff, but wakes up to chime in from time to time.

The Romney camp is NOT happy with Fox’s call, and Rove is frantically trying to save the Big Lie for Mitt.  Wouldn’t it be precious if FOX made it more difficult for Romney’s lawyers?

Donald Trump is trying to foment a revolution on the Twitter. *snerk*

Wouldn’t it be precious if FOX made it more difficult for Romney’s lawyers?

They all deserve each other.  The fallout amongst the poli-ops, big money boys, and professional hacks will only be either great or epic.

Sweet mother of juiceboxes. but the assholes are already claiming no mandate, no convincing win, all that noise

Watching FOX now. SO much denial.

I’m going home, love to you all, kisses for Strange, Mrs. P and keep some for yourself.

Oh, and fuck the motherfucking Pope.

Witness the Rove filibuster. This guy has no shame!

Peggy Noonan talking to Shep Smith, seems stammering. Possibly a little tipsy (#Tuesday).

Polly on the Strange machine again (phone keeps force-quitting, or as I call it, Palining).

Our old friends, the PUMAs, are having a less than grand evening:

DancesWithPumas 11.06.12 at 9:35 pm

  I’m following the results on a Spanish speaking station. Do I speak Spanish? No.
  That’s what makes it less anxiety producing.

Watching Lanny Davis now. Know what? He creeps me out.

Now Rich Lowry. Complains Obama “made Romney radioactive”  Dude, Romney was radioactive, he just held up a fricking geiger counter.

Thanks to everyone here for making the last 4 years lots of fun!

My wife knocked on hundreds of doors for Obama & Tim Kaine (I knocked on a few and did other stuff for OFA-Richmond).  Virginia’s too close to call, but I’m proud of everyone we worked with here, even if this state goes to the Willard-Bot, we made it close. 

And Kaine sending George Allen into political retirement.  Senator Macaca has been a blight on this state for nearly 20 years, I’m sure Fox will give him a gig and they can have him. 

I’m also glad that 4 years of bigotry, hatred rumors have exploded in the face of the right wing tonight. 

I can’t help but think of Strange tonight too, hope you’re doing okay and loving this!

I’m a little concerned. The guy from Nate Silver Wrong! hasn’t tweeted for two hours.

I just read on unskewedpolls.com that the election results are in the process of being unskewed and it looks like we can say President Romney!!

I’m concerned about Karl Rove (okay, pretend-concerned). He spent a lot of rich mofo’s money to get this nothing to happen.

The hits keep coming:

New York Times calling Virginia for BO.  Good to have insurance.

I just saw a tweet that Bachmann is behind.  #seriously?

Heh.

BBC talking heads reckon once everything’s tallied up, Obama will also win the popular vote.

I just saw a tweet that Bachmann is behind.

Last I’ve seen, she’s 1% ahead with 41% of the votes counted. If you’ve got anything uncrossed, I’d cross it.

Eh—I’ll have to call it bedtime for this bloggger—g’night all!

Night night, Vixen.

Sleep the sleep of the victorious, Vix!

For everyone else, a TBogg amuse-bouche:

“Well done, New Black Panther Party.  You may claim your white women at Fox Studios.”

I’d give the smaller lobe of my liver for a fraction of that man’s wit.  But not tonight, ‘cos I need it.  *hic*

Romney calls Obama to concede

And there it is.  Thank FSM, there’s some hope for our great republic yet.

OMG. A friend of mine apparently just got a message from his brother saying that their father was disowning him for voting for Obama.

And he voted independent. o.O

Told his brother to tell his father he’d vote Republican as soon as he’s no longer a part of the 47% they hate.

But still… o.O

Allen West is currently behind by 1,000 votes, and Bachmann’s lead’s cut to 120 ...

Someone on NPR (Cokie Roberts?) just said that this will prompt Obama to do some soul searching.

Polly on the Strange machine, saying thank yins and g’night n’at. Picksbergese!

Strange has had a lively couple of days, was somewhat tuckered out tonight, but very satisfied. Tomorrow, we shall drink deep of the lacrimal effusions of our enemies, etc.

Meet you right here for the Hillary Clinton Victory thread in four years! Same Strange time, same Strange channel.

That ought to pop the remaining Pumae heads.

Goodnight to you both, Mrs. P and I hope you sleep the sleep of the justly victorious.

I think I’m in for the long haul till Bachmann and West are crushed and Obama’s rubbed the GOP’s noses in it.

Here, YAFB: victory speech for energy and cheer!

OMG! Puerto Rico! I was born there in ‘63. They’ve voted down statehood three times since then. Tonight? They voted overwhelmingly FOR statehood!

Plus!  First openly gay person, first disabled female veteran, and first Asian woman all elected into the Senate.

What an astonishing night!

I have to turn the TV off here before it harshes my mellow. The sensible coverage has finished and we’re segueing into the early morning tabloid pap: “President Obama just won reelection by the narrowest of margins.” Jeez. All that and Katty Kay rabbiting nonsense as their go-to pundit, seemingly ignorant about entrenched congressional obstructionism.

It’s an amazing night, domynoe.

Oop. Mia Love lost. Bachmann 180-odd votes behind with 78% counted.

I may get to bed tonight yet ...

Lordy loo, I’m going to have to force myself into bed.  I’m half in the bag, and still compulsively cruising for results on Bachmann/Graves.

Could we really reseat Grayson while knocking off Walsh, West, and Bachmann?  I am salivating at the prospect.

Favorite Freeper headline so far:

***Sarah Palin: Announce For the 2016 Presidency TODAY****

Yeah she should do that, Bob!

I passed out while waiting for the Bachmann result, even this morning I’m not sure whether there’s going to be a mandatory recount, and now I’ve got to make a shopping run since I appear to be sober enough to drive. I just did a quick dash through the RW blogs. Not happy puppies. That’s those who’ve even bothered to acknowledge the results. I’ll buy some popcorn. We seem to be all out.