Hoping for a Miracle, Struggling Pirates Francise Promotes Pope Benedict from Triple-A

Faced with the looming prospect of an 18th consecutive losing season, beleaguered Pirates management has once again dipped its bucket into the nearly-empty talent well of the Bucs’ Indianapolis Indians farm club. Having previously called-up pitcher Brad Lincoln and outfielder Jose Tabata with a fanfare that dwarfed their on-field impact—and as yet unable to coax consistent production out of heavy-hitting third-base phenom Pedro Alvarez—the team is putting all its chips on rookie hurler Pope Benedict XVI.

Despite a mottled minor league career and an ERA that’s creeped as high as 9.51, the Pope has sparked excitement among a long-suffering fan base that’s starved for even a feeble blip in the Pirates’ flat-lined fortunes. “He’s 83 years old, so I’m not looking for him to whiff a lot of batters,” observed tailgater Mark Henschel. “But he baffles the lefties, and he’s got a sinker that looks jut like an inside curve, but transubstantiates like a bitch about ten feet in front of the plate. Also, I’ve seen him project a blinding glow from his forehead that throws off even monster humanist sluggers. I don’t figure him to carry any games, but as a change-up guy he brings a lot to the party.”

The Pope will don the Jolly Roger for his debut performance at PNC Park tonight against the Cincinnati Reds.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 08/03/10 at 01:12 PM • Permalink

Ummm ... sorry Strange, it appears San Diego sign Il Papa first

More here

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