Hunka Hunka Hurlin’ Lunch
‘Bout noon here on the East Coast, time to grab a little somethin’ t’ eat. Mm-MM I’m famished. Thinkin’ ‘bout a vegan chicken-salad sandwich with lightly salted potato chips. No, not as a side, I got some cabbage soup for that, I’m talkin’ on the sandwich! Gives it snap! And zip!
You’re probably not into veganism, what you’re having no doubt paints a more delectable word-picture—anybody out there’s got a doozy of a lunch planned, feel free to make us all so jealous in comments!
FOOD glo-ri-ous food... oh, sorry, my voice isn’t the kind of soothing music that goes with a meal. You probably want to be left alone to eat now, so I’m gonna take off, but just, real quick? Got somethin’ I wanted to mention, won’t take long.
(leans in)
So wow, Newt the unquenchable sex machine, huh? After last night’s debate all I can think of is Gingrich, naked as the day he was born, that pockmarked harvest moon of an ass of his thrusting—nay, pounding away rhythmically as he brings his lover to climax.
Just thought I’d share. Bon appetit!
Callista loves Disney movies, so if she’s been a good girl—have you been a good girl, princess?—I’ll put on the Little Mermaid soundtrack and bust out this move I call “a hole Newt swirl.”
Aw, I’m sorry. You’re all looking at me like “why would you do that?” The answer is, I (stupidly) thought for a second there that I was alone in coming up with “Swingrich,” only to Google up reams of massive disappointment, and now I’m lashing out in pain and anger. So heartbreaking to watch all those little royalty checks and lucrative copyright lawsuits sprout little wings and fly away… (ah, God, EDIT, I originally misseplled that as “wangs,” I got au naturel Newt on the brain worse than I thought) And what are you so mad about anyway, you could stand to lose a few pou—SORRY, sorry, that was me lashing out again.
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