I finally figured out who Cheney reminds me of…

D’orc Cheney:

“As I’ve watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of 9/11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won’t be at war.

“He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core al Qaeda trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war. But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe. Why doesn’t he want to admit we’re at war? It doesn’t fit with the view of the world he brought with him to the Oval Office. It doesn’t fit with what seems to be the goal of his presidency—social transformation—the restructuring of American society. President Obama’s first object and his highest responsibility must be to defend us against an enemy that knows we are at war.

Good Christ, what a despicable creature. I hope he chokes on a bowl of extra crispy chicken-fried Hobbit dicks.

[Updated with gratuitous cute dogs after the jump]

By special request and by way of countering the D’orc ugly, a pair of cute boxer dogs!

image

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/30/09 at 08:35 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersBushCoNuttersOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

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Cheney always looks likes someone whose woobie has just been stolen.

On a somewhat related note, check out this screamingly funny haiku on Karl Rove, from Daily Haiku News.

Comment by J. on 12/30/09 at 09:39 AM

This just goes to show why some people should not be kept alive artificially.  God knows when Cheney should have kicked the bucket.

This just goes to show why some people should not be kept alive artificially.  God knows when Cheney should have kicked the bucket.

He’s more machine than man now, twisted and evil.

Is it wrong to mix Star Wars and LOTR quotes?

One does not simply walk into Mordor without going through full body scans.  They could have prevented this with more Hobbit profiling.

Yeah, thank god we had the GOP in charge of the White House when that presidential daily briefing memo in August 2001 entitled “Al Qaeda set to strike in U.S.” came out. Imagine how awful things might have been otherwise.

Cheney’s enlarged prostate throbs every time he says “war.”

That being said, unfortunately I think this whole crotchbomber thing is going to have legs with Real Americans™.

Fear works.

I dunno, justlen, here in Redmond, we’re all laughing at the many hilarious monikers we’ve come up with for the newly minted “Mrs.” Crotchfire. Only the people who like being scared are worried, and then, not much.

Dick sits crouched at his desk. “Liz, Liz, LIZ!!!!” he shouts to the laptop. “WHAT!!!” Liz screams from several rooms away. Again, “Liz, Liz, LIZ!!!” Dick shouts without looking up and punching at the keys on his laptop.

“What, What, WHAT do you fucking want this time! Your driving me fucking nuts with this laptop!!! I’m gonna kill Scooter for giving you that God Damned thing.” Liz shouts as she marches down the hall to Dick’s study.

“I wanna send Scooter email. What’s my password?” Dick says still looking at his laptop as Liz marches in. “puppies4war”. Liz shouts surveying Dick’s desk. It’s covered with rib bones and crumpled up greasy paper towels and a half drank glass of Coca Cola.

“That four’s a number right, who the hell came up with that?” Dick says punching in his password. “Scooter did and what the hell are you eating. This stuff is gonna kill you. Let me fucking guess. Scooter brought you this. That little bastard. I’m gonna kill him one of these days”, Liz says as she grabs the garbage can next to the desk and rakes all the eaten and uneaten food into the garbage. She grabs the coke and walks out.

“Where’s the send button” Dick finally looks up. His lips are smeared with bar b q sauce.

“Call that little fuck Scooter, I’m tired of dealing with you today. I’m going upstairs to get some quiet. And tell that little bastard if he brings in this shit food for you one more time I’m gonna cut his balls off. You tell him that for me and I fucking mean it.”

“Scooter. Liz says she’s gonna cut your balls off.” Dick turns his head and says to the closet.

“I know. I heard” a voice from the closet says.

Jamie, that is very funny! Well done!

OT, Betty, but any chance we can see pix of the Boxers at Christmas? I think we could all use the cheering up.

The fact that the dickweed Cheney talks about war so much is a clear projection of the fact that, IRL, he   is merely one of a long list of chickenhawks.

Comment by jeffinfremont (formerly Pumalicious!) on 12/30/09 at 01:12 PM

@ Jamie—LOL

@ Oblomova—done via update above. Sorry it’s such a lousy picture. It’s hard to get a non-blurry shot of them when they’re awake, especially with my lousy camera phone and when they think I have a piece of chicken for them.

Yay! Thanks, Betty.

Boxers make the world a better place. Cheney, not so much.

They do indeed, Mark. BTW, I loved the fostering boxers post on your blog.

This is most excellent from David Brooks concerning such matters.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/01/opinion/01brooks.html?em

Comment by Jamie on 01/01/10 at 01:28 PM
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