I have committed cockpunchery in my heart

Pre-vitriol-spewing disclosure: I’ve had it in for Jimmy Carter for over a week now, ever since he said this on Brian Lehrer’s WNYC show:

Well, I think an atheist can live a moral life, because most of the standards of society—as encompassed in our laws and in our American constitution and other laws around the world—are based in religious faith, and I don’t think that those laws are much different between Christianity and Judaism, for instance, or Islam, and [long pause in which the listener has no choice but to mentally insert audio of Reverend Lovejoy saying “and miscellaneous!” -ed.] Hinduism. y’know, they all have basic principles as far as moral values are concerned. For instance peace, we worship Jesus as the prince of peace, and it would be good if everybody did comply with that mandate to resolve differences among ourselves peacefully. We’ve already mentioned some of the others, like humility and service to others, the alleviation of suffering… but I think that moral values can be applicable to an atheist who looks at Christian values and says “I don’t believe in those, but I adopt the basic principles that Christ espoused.” Whether they say that or not, I think that’s what they’re doing.

I actually transcribed that myself, which means I was annoyed enough to work for free. Now, I trust that you, the reader, are akin to my family, friends, coworkers, and anyone within a ten-yard radius of me when church bells sound in that you’d rather not hear me launch into a diatribe about how religion has, among many odious tendencies, a penchant for gathering up everything good in the world and claiming credit, so I won’t launch into that diatribe. It is, however, available upon request (or a two-second lull in the conversation), and it’s diatribe 16C if you’ve purchased a copy of my collected diatribes, The Hejustgoesonandonicon.

Anyway, apparently teaching the Republicans how to mobilize Evangelicals as a voting bloc in the late 70s wasn’t enough, now history’s greatest monster wants to provide the GOP further assistance! No, sorry, he wants to help the Democrats, which is, of course, the only reason anybody would agree to appear on Laura Ingraham’s radio show. His quiescence as she repeatedly refers to it as “the Democrat party” is some sort of rope-a-dope, surely.

Somebody must’ve told our in-house False Flag Division (I have no proof that such an agency exists, but somebody’s paying Mudcat Saunders) that the Dems are ascendant thanks to culture-war issues, causing our Overlords of Owngoalism to go on Red As In State Not As In Communist Alert. So here’s Carter’s advice, which, pardon the pun, can only be desribed as peaCRAZY:

I’ve signed a public letter calling for the Democratic Party at the next convention to espouse my position on abortion which is to minimize the need, requirement for abortion and limit it only to women whose life are in danger or who are pregnant as a result of rape or incest. I think if the Democratic Party would adopt that policy that would be acceptable to a lot of people who are now estranged from our party because of the abortion issue.

And what about the people who will be estranged by that unconscionable betrayal minor tweak in the platform? Well, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death, and thus have I satisfied the “three Simpsons references” clause of my writing-on-the-internet contract.

Boy, just a few more of these helpful hints on voter outreach from Faithandvaluecrats and then the Democratic party can be a habitat for you, Hannity!

image
Yo, Jimmy Hat, I hate ta break it to ya, man, but y’all ain’t never gon’ appeal ta DEEZ NUTS

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/30/12 at 11:46 AM • Permalink

Categories: NewsPoliticsNuttersRelijun

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I think this may be one of your finest rants.
This

...a penchant for gathering up everything good in the world and claiming credit.

made me smile.

Well, I think an atheist can live a moral life, because most of the standards of society—as encompassed in our laws and in our American constitution and other laws around the world—are based in religious faith

Yeah, because nobody could just be smart enough to see that we all have a better chance of living happier lives if we look after each other and take care of our planet and its non-human inhabitants.

When did Carter turn into such a sanctimonious prick?  Or was he always this way and I just hadn’t noticed yet.  His Helpful Plan for Democrats is not just PEAcrazy it’s BATSHIT crazy!

When did Carter turn into such a sanctimonious prick?  Or was he always this way and I just hadn’t noticed yet.

I blow hot and cold on Carter since some of his policy positions have proven to be visionary, but yes, I think he’s always had a bit of the sanctimonious prick in him.

He has always has some sanctimonious prickitude but he’s still worth more than any hundred million fundie Republicans for what he has actually done to help people.

That said, I totally agree with Gil’s post.

(I have no proof that such an agency exists, but somebody’s paying Mudcat Saunders)

Thank you for that. I’ve had it in for Mudcat for ever so long.

And yeah, Carter was being a sanctimonious prick. It’s even more infuriating because he’s not a stupid man and therefore should know better.

Yeah, because nobody could just be smart enough to see that we all have a better chance of living happier lives if we look after each other and take care of our planet and its non-human inhabitants.

It’s not even a matter of being smart. Looking after each other has evolutionary advantages over “every man for himself”. Thus, species have evolved a natural sense of altruism because altruism is a survival strategy.

(cf, “The Selfish Gene”)

And yeah, Carter was being a sanctimonious prick. It’s even more infuriating because he’s not a stupid man and therefore should know better.

Sanctimony is a natural counter-agent to intelligence.

He’s misreading everything about the state of mind of these anti-abortion creeps. If reducing the demand for abortion was even a part of their outlook, then comprehensive sex ed and easy access to birth control would be something we all could get behind. Instead, the motive behind so much of their movement seems to be using sex and fertility as a weapon against women.  And the traditional respect for women whose pregnancies may have been the result of rape, or which carried the potential for harm to the woman, is eroding. I don’t think I could stay in a party that would negotiate away my personhood to win over people who can’t see the difference between a zygote and the Gerber Baby. 

And that business about the, you know, good atheists was just condescending.

Well, Carter is a Baptist after all. On the other hand, all the religious right assholes say he is not a Christian. It’s that (D) after his name.

Remember when he was committing heavy petting in his heart with Mme Cédras in Haiti in 1994?

“Mrs. Cedras was impressive, powerful and forceful,” Mr. Carter said. “And attractive. She was slim and very attractive.”

The thing is, flirting with her was what needed to be done to get the dictator out and Aristide back. It was unspeakably humiliating but effective. He is totally different from you and me, and we can’t judge him by normal standards. He comes from a completely foreign culture, like the Qianlong Emperor, or Mr. Spock. Maybe with the anti-abortion creeps he is pretending to think they are not poisonous monsters in the same way he might praise their wives’ legs, to soften them up.

And that business about the, you know, good atheists was just condescending.

I’ll take it out on a limb here.  I beg the indulgence of all of the women here who are vastly wittier and sharper of mind than myself.

President Carter is a relic.  He grew up during FDR’s administration.  Roosevelt only got the opportunity to create Social Security for, basically, white men.  It’s not that it wasn’t inspiring, or that it wasn’t the first step down a long and important road.  It’s that Carter was much closer to the presidency than to his youth when feminism truly came into being, or when atheism was greeted as anything other than aberration.

We should greet his convention letter the same way we greet all respected but slightly demented elders.  “No, sweet Grampaw, I love you, but that’s incorrect.”

Full disclosure: Lowkey <—- worked many Habitat projects.

a habitat for you, Hannity!

Oof. I read this 4 hrs ago and I’m still trying to shake it off

Eloquent rant. I almost hate to say it, but if Jimmy Carter irritates you, I’ll probably drive you to the dark side. Sorry.

After surveying the various religious services of my childhood friends and finding them all talking about essentially the same thing, I decided religion was for people who put 2 and 2 together but get 3.5, and don’t like the other church because they get 3.6. 

I’m also willing to argue that being a good person because you think it is the right thing to do, not because some invisible sky daddy is going to spank your ass at some future date, is actually a more enlightened or even evolved way of being in the world.  Mature and adult-like even. 

If believing that an invisible sky daddy is keeping a list of how many swats you’re going to get is what it takes for you to be decent in your actions, then fine, have at it.  But don’t tell me that my decision to be a good person is because I saw some Christians being all perfect and I decided I needed to ape them.  There is way, way too much data to get away with a bullshit claim like that.

What V. Strangely said. 

Plus this: Spare me the “conservative” “reverence for life,” when many, most, or all of these life-reverers couldn’t wait to cheer (from the sidelines) for W’s invasion of Iraq, during which—or so I’ve heard—something like six or ten children died.  I may be off by an order of magnitude or so.

These people don’t revere life in the slightest.  They think pleasure is immoral and women who have sex are fallen whores (unless they’re married).  Not that this stops many of them from violating that stricture, too.  Carter ignores all this—but, then, he has to.  He’s religious, you see.

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