I Know This Is Supposed to Make My Head Explode, But It Just Makes Me Crave Pancakes

The Undefeated Teaser Trailer from Dain Valverde on Vimeo.

Don’t ask me why pancakes. Maybe it’s because Stephen Bannon’s documentary editing style is just as contrived and annoying as this

God have mercy on anyone who sits through TWO HOURS of this Tiger Beat fan-film.

[UPDATE:] Rumproast Blog Poll: Who’s more worship-worthy: Sarah Palin or All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/07/11 at 05:31 PM • Permalink

Categories: MoviesMovie NewsPoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Share this post:  Share via Twitter   Share via BlinkList   Share via del.icio.us   Share via Digg   Share via Email   Share via Facebook   Share via Fark   Share via NewsVine   Share via Propeller   Share via Reddit   Share via StumbleUpon   Share via Technorati  

“Select” theaters. Hee hee.

Since Palin isn’t a politician, and isn’t even running for any sort of office why does anyone even talk about her, or feel she’s worthy of a documentary?  She hasn’t accomplished anything except for the fact that she’s the first female vice presidential nominee for the GOP, though I do suppose that should count for something… but a whole movie?  And to refer to her as a “warrior”?  All she is is a quitter ex-governor who occasionally makes asinine comments on Fox News.

Everything about her celebrity existence is absurd, and downright weird.  I’d rather have pancakes.

10 theaters, nationwide. Trying to get people to buy multiple tickets and give them away to bus station bums and Palin-hating strangers, in the hope that they can break 12,000 tickets sold on opening day.

“Phony Intelligencia” - Ha!  It must be sad knowing that being a dumbass is the stereotype for the side you’re on.  I’d hate to be associated with that, ya know?

Intelligencia

I just realized I misspelled this word, thus ruining my entire point.

Yes, but you KNOW you misspelled it. That makes you one of those phony bastards who oppose Sarah with bullshit tricks like “learning” and “knowledge.”

Yes, but you KNOW you misspelled it. That makes you one of those phony bastards who oppose Sarah with bullshit tricks like “learning” and “knowledge.”

Yes I suppose that’s true, and I’m phony to the core!  Well if I’m using learning and knowledge, what the hell are they using?

Well if I’m using learning and knowledge, what the hell are they using?

News clips, stock footage, moves on stills, limbo interviews and cuts-to-music. This would have been a state-of-the-art Westinghouse corporate retirement video circa 1990.

C4P wants you to send this sincere, heartfelt, non-astroturfing letter to your local newspaper:

Many people are starting to pay attention to the 2012 GOP presidential race. One of the most-talked about potential candidates, Sarah Palin, is the subject of a new independent documentary film titled, “The Undefeated” that will be playing at [insert name of theater here in insert name of city] starting July 15th.

In the words of one conservative reviewer, “The Undefeated” reintroduces America to Sarah Palin, a person who has the exact combination of qualities that Americans know are needed to restore America’s greatness and primacy in the world. … In Alaska, Palin unseated an entrenched mayor in Wasilla, and then went on to uproot a culture of corruption in Juneau that engulfed the Republican governor and other state officials.”

This is a limited release in just 10 cities across the country, so it’s a great opportunity for our community to see an independent film about a dynamic leader who is poised to shake up the 2012 presidential race. I am really looking forward to seeing it and hope many will get the chance to as well.

No editor will spot that letter as a cut-and-paste ringer, not in a million years.

Any guesses as to how many of those letters will go out with the “[insert name of theater here in insert name of city]” still in it?

I’ll have to ask my friend and co-worker (who gets the LTE and such) how many requests we get…in Burlington, VT.  (The theater around the corner showed Atlas Shrugged for a week long after it had ended elsewhere.)

This is very much following the Atlas Shrugged model of begging your local theater to show the damn thing, or — if you don’t live within 200 miles of a theater — hoping it will “go viral” on the Internet or be distributed free on DVD to every American voter by SaraPAC, which can do anything.

We love Sarah so much, we are willing to bootleg her commissioned hagiography until there is such a glut of wobbly low-quality Undefeateds that our children’s children will use them for beer coasters. Free Market Rawks!

$arah, and $arahPAC, don’t do nuthin fer free, so who’s going to pay to send a free DVD to all true ‘Murikans? 

Oh right, her dumbass followers.

10 theaters, nationwide. Trying to get people to buy multiple tickets and give them away to bus station bums and Palin-hating strangers, in the hope that they can break 12,000 tickets sold on opening day.

O.M.G.  Hahahahahahahahahaha!! O.M.G. again.  What a total travesty.  Buh-bye Sarah - I really do think your 15 minutes is rounding the corner at you as we speak.

(Oh, I know there’s that devoted group of kooks who will continue to love her no matter what but as far as the wider audience they hoped to bring on board?  Just not going to happen.  Too bad, so sad.)

I find it moderately amusing that they use a thunderclap in the sound effects, as that’s a motif in the trailer for Luther.

According to lore, Martin Luther changed his profession from The Law to The Church during a thunderstorm, which is used in the opening scene of the movie.

Love him or hate him, Luther had an effect on Western Civilization that warrants a thunderclap 500 years later. Sarah Palin? Let’s check back in 2058.

It’s funny to watch the two trailers in succession, though.

Comment by hamletta on 07/07/11 at 11:59 PM

Lightning is often associated with powerful conversions.

Who’s more worship-worthy: Sarah Palin or All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku?

Another question that answers itself!

No Purpose Anti-Cultural Catty Also Too is less dimensional, her gutteral growls less comprehensible, and her ears not retractable. I think that about settles it.

I’d like to know how the catgirl is polling in Iowa before I make any decisions.

It’s not EVEN a contest.

D

Comment by daryljfontaine on 07/08/11 at 09:00 AM

Who’s more worship-worthy: Sarah Palin or All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku?

Wait, I know this…

“Neither, because both are cartoon characters”?

Mr. W, there’s no need for someone to actually exist in order to be worshiped - in fact, it’s preferred that they don’t, at least provably.

That said I’d say Nuku Nuku wins it in a walk. She gets a kick out of stuff like making Christmas presents for people instead of e.g. losing it when approached by lesbian nuns.

Page 1 of 1 pages

Sorry, commenting is closed for this post.

<< Back to main