I, Ratfuck

Dear Romney campaign: You’ve been having a rough go of it lately. Attached please find my humble suggestion for an anti-Gingrich attack ad that’s sure to turn the tide in your favor.

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I’m an invented person.

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We’re invented people.

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I’m an invented person. Spoiler alert!

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Nnnnggg me invented person mmmmmm

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CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS MODEL T-800.

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I’m an invented person, baby.

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Newt Gingrich seems to think that’s all we are. But he’s wrong.

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Dead wrong.

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We’re workers.

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And mothers.

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Nnnnggg Friiieeends Mmmmm

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And lovers.

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KNIVES AND STABBING WEAPONS.

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And neighbors. Oooh. Whatchoo mean you mah neighbuh, honky? Oooh. Neighborth, that’th fabulouth!

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And uh… angels, I think? Season 4 went off the rails a little.

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I know, right? I mean, “and soldiers!”

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That’s why we’re supporting Mitt Romney. (releases dove)

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I’LL BE BACK. ING MITT ROMNEY.

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I’m gonna give Mitt Romney my vote good and hard. (winks)

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Mmmmmitt Romney friiieeend nnngg

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YOUR VOTES. GIVE THEM TO MITT NOW.

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Mitt Romney’s one of us. Not like Newt Gingrich.

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Nnnnggg Gingrich baaaaad

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Mr. Gingrich, what do you have against invented people?

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FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

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I’m Mitt Romney, and I approve this *BZZZT* approve this message.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/11/11 at 09:33 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Mittens

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Bravo! Masterful.

+10 million for including Heartbeeps.

(or did I mean *not* including it?)

Missed one?

That was perfect. Someone should check Mitt’s pantry for cases of Mom’s Robot Oil.

Follow the yellow brick road, Mitt. Follow the yellow brick road. The great Oz will give you a heart.

Someone should check Mitt’s pantry for cases of Mom’s Robot Oil.

That would explain the sudden spike in anchovy futures.

That was thoroughly awesome. But you forgot this bear. Which I found kind of terrifying.

Comment by Jewish Steel on 12/12/11 at 01:50 AM

You forgot Max Headroom! He would have been a perfect stand in for Romney.

That was thoroughly awesome. But you forgot this bear. Which I found kind of terrifying.

That whole movie was ruined for me because of the shitty ending.

That whole movie was ruined for me because of the shitty ending.

I never saw it because my Glurge Alarm redlined when I saw the previews. That, and I get tired of the fact that our society really only has two stories about robots - Pinocchio and The Terminator.

You forgot Max Headroom! He would have been a perfect stand in for Romney.

Wait—you mean they’re two different “people”?

But you forgot...

In hindsight, presumptuous of me. You would never tell Leonardo he forgot to show some leg, Michelangelo he should have put a pizza in there or Beethoven he needed more oboe parts.

Mike and Xeck, it’s been so long since I’ve seen that film the only thing I remember was that eerie bear.

Xecky: Oh, for sure, total glurge.  But glurge can be enjoyable, it can have its place.  Look at ET, or Love Story.  Both complete glurge, but also enjoyable, despite their both shamelessly and openly tugging at our heartstrings.

No, what irked me about AI wasn’t that it was glurge, just that the ending was so stupid.

I will agree glurge can be enjoyable, but I usually don’t refer to it as “glurge” if it is. I think “schmaltz” works better there. :)

Ah, but all that schmaltz, so bad for the heart! Oy! 

</Jewish>

Mitt Romney’s one of us. Not like Newt Gingrich.

Mitt’s wife, on the other hand…

Gingrich BAD!! NNnnng! NNNNNG!

Uh, who are the first (BSG twice?) and the third (spoiler alert? Doesn’t look like Ed Norton).

Captcha is “probably49,” but I’m fairly certain neither is from any adaptation of the Pynchon novel.

Oh, duh!  Finally recognized the third. (And that’s after seeing the movie just four weeks ago.)

Still stumped on the first.

Captcha: inside93, but pretty certain Inside Job isn’t, unfortunately, made up of invented people.

Yup, the first one is from BSG.

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