I’m Super Duper Syria
on the plus side, no bongos
We may be the world’s sole remaining superpower, but there are still challengers to the throne, and whether it’s Cold War nostalgia or a decade of well-publicized moral compromise on our part, I for one find it comforting that the commies are the bad guys again. Makes it that much more likely that the bloodshed can be ended by a lone catchphrase-spouting musclehead. Okay, that’s definitely Cold War nostalgia.
Hey, so how’re Bill Keller and the rest of the “Hillary for Veep” morons feeling about all this? You guys really want Biden minding the tinderbox? Because I’m not sure if y’all are aware of this—it may have been mentioned in passing once or twice—but the man’s a bit of an oaf. It’s part of his charm, but, y’know, maybe not quite the personality trait you’re looking for in someone whose job is to stave off international conflagration. Hell, if he was Secretary of State we’d still be putting out the fires from his comically botched attempt to lie about our involvement in the assassinations of Iranian nuclear scientists. And I mean actual fires, like I can totally see Biden burning down the briefing room by accident while trying to distract the press corps with Zippo tricks.
Anyway, now comes the hard part: deciding what color to use for our Twitter backgrounds.
UPDATE: if you search for “Syrian bombardment” on Google Video, the sixth hit is this:
What was I saying about being a superpower?