Finally, something to fap to since the passing of Bettie Page.

Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket that’s funny.

Now Kevin, can you fix my damned IP?

Oral sex. Don’t forget the oral sex.

Pictoral Representation Number Three is clearly a Queen Elizabeth scandal that never broke.
There’s still time, however.

I’m the one in the green tutu. Look at those gams!

Oh, my.  What a way to thit the slopes.

I’m the one who couldn’t get the green tutu over one gam.

fixed.

I’m the guy in the sailor suit.

Thought this was notable, and likely to piss off the PUMAs:

Thought this was notable, and likely to piss off the PUMAs

You mean their efforts have failed thus far? Who would have thought of such a tragedy? Oedipus pails in comparison.

I just wish I could remember why it was we decided to wear those darling tiaras with our tutus.

Thought this was notable, and likely to piss off the PUMAs:

Yeah, I heard that on the radio a little bit ago and that was my exact thought.  OH NOES - after all their work emailing and faxing every elector in the country and they STILL voted for that horrible black dude.

Do your children know you ski with pasties, Marindenver?

I always thought PUMAs were balloon animals…

STILL voted for that horrible black dude.

Yup, more EPIC PUMA FAIL.

I guess they do now. ;D

I’m the balloon animal.

BTW, we just got front-paged on Balloon Juice for the Awards.  Too funny. The PUMAs really stepped in it this time.

I’m the guy in the sailor suit.

Take that over to JC’s place Mister. This is a he-man’s blog, for manly men and the women who love manly-men and make them sandwiches.

By the way ladies, I am available for speak n’ spell lessons. Just drop me a line.

Oh, NOW PUMA is all about Fair Pay.

I’m the one in the white two-piece on the beach, checking to see if my butt is still there. Which is one way you can tell the difference between me and a PUMA: if I were the latter, my head would be firmly lodged in my ass already, and every time I farted, it would come out “OBOT!”

Also, can we get the PUMAs to oppose peace in the Middle East and full economic recovery? That way we know those things will come to pass.

Wow, I had never seen that link of Puma women photos.  Yikes!

And their gays are so decidedly B-List… maybe C-List.  Clearly, the gays that worship Cher and those that worship Hillary are in different leagues.

Rather than make the predictable crude remark, I will instead quote John Cassavetes’ masterful 1982 cinematic updating of Shakespeare’s classic, The Tempest:

I want to touch… I want to kiss… I want to balonga you with my Bonnie Johnnie!

Oh, and why is that woman holding up her apron in front of that cheap-ass 1959-era grill?

Oh wait, that’s her dress. I thought fire, meat and outdoor cooking were the sole domain of men, what the hell was she thinking? She prolly got starter fluid on that thing and then combusted just after the artist finished the drawing.

And another note, every time one of you RumpRoast ladies brings me a sammich, you must be wearing thigh-highs, a garter and red fuck-me pumps. Otherwise the sammich doesn’t count.

“I thought fire, meat and outdoor cooking were the sole domain of men.”

You thought wrong. I am Iron Chef BBQ in my household. (Mr. Cracker is Iron Chef Italian.)

You thought wrong. I am Iron Chef BBQ in my household.

Oh Betty, say it aint so! You’ve been hanging out with Confederate Yankee? Was it you who bought him his new grill after that mean, nasty liberal storm blew his over? Say it aint so!

Durn huuricin dun noked ova mah charcoal grill!

Is that lady scenting her ladybits with the smell of cooking meat?

I had never seen those puma pics either.  You know if I was mean spirited, and you know had the sense of humor of a sailor, I might have something to say about a photo of a bunch of bananas wearing a hat, and you know bawdily speculate somewhat as to said bananas purpose you know at puma HQ.  But I’m not and I don’t so I won’t.