It Takes a Village of the Cream Cheese People*

Underneath those mil-spec ballistic cosmetics, Callista Gingrich is a genuine person who truly cares about indoctrinating your children.

[*With grateful acknowledgment to Betty Cracker’s seminal post on the Legion of Synthetic Spouses.]

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/27/11 at 10:33 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Polisnark

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I’m all for self-determination but it always makes me sad when someone who is already pretty develops a serious aesthetic improvements problem.

Owwwww, my eyes.

Never click the link.
Never click the link.
Never click the link.

Does anyone believe her book is really the #2 children’s book in the US? I think it’s gotta be one of those wingnut self-book-buying scams. Nobody gives a rat’s ass what Newt says, let alone Mrs. Newt!

Ellis the Elephant, oh yes, they could have picked any animal…The book itself is classic Soviet-style propaganda, not much different from the happy kids “weekly messengers” during the 1950s.  This is just junk.  My kids are in public schools now and they learn a lot about US history.  This interview is just pure unmitigated garbage.  Hannity is actually downright evil in his unremitting smears about teachers.  Sad.  Oh and she is a Mark II Fembot.  That model got recalled but was marginally more interactive than the Mark I, (e.g. Bachmann, which kept shorting out).

Jesus H. Fucking Christ on a papyrus popsicle! Where would this country be without Ellis to have shepherded along Washington Lincoln and the Pilgrims? Thank you very much Mrs. Eft.

Is Newt’s grifting not paying the Tiffanys bill these days so now Callista’s gotta write kiddie propaganda?  I’m sure her Stepford Wife personality and weapons grade hairspray will really charm the young’uns on her tour too.  ;-)

@ Jim—agree 100%, both about Gingrich’s book being Soviet-grade propaganda and that Hannity is completely full of shit about public schools.

I have a kid in public school too, and if I had a nickel for every time some wingnut dimwit fellow-parent (whose kids are in Christian school) complained about no mention of Christmas and no education about US history blar-d-blar, well, I could fund a further godless commie education at Harvard.

Maybe it’s a scam to drive wingnuts to waste tuition money on crappy evangelical schools. I’m in a semi-rural area with notoriously underfunded schools, and the kids do learn US history. And my little atheist sings “Messiah” in the choral program at Christmas.

@marindenver

20 Quatloos for “weapons grade hairspray.”

Betty, yes, sadly is #2 on Amazon’s Children’s book chart. 

It’s likely some right wing billionaire/think tank buying most of them so they can give them away.

Comment by JasonM on 09/27/11 at 02:33 PM

Here’s Callista and Ellis, “just friends.”

Those early 90’s Stepford models need less frosting and   more cowbell.

Here’s Callista and Ellis, “just friends.”

That link appears to be fuxxored, but Ellis has his own site, and will no doubt break free from Callista’s saucy but baleful influence and publish a kiss-and-tell-all once the drugs run out and if the blackmail money from Newt don’t come through.

Donk the Donkey was, however, available for comment.

My Little Atheist

I think you may be onto a book/tee vee idea there, Ms. Cracker. Perhaps w/ doll merchandising.

From Hunger’s link:

Newt Gingrich was promoting the new book, ‘A Contract With the Earth,’ he co-authored with conservationist Terry Maple.

The contract is obviously between the Cream Cheese Emperor & Mr. Gingrich as a representative of The Earth.

And remember, pretty as most of her face may behave been, Callista’s astounding & literal beak has probably caused her more psychological trauma then anything she’s done w/ or for Newt.

OK, let’s try THIS link.

I have to do this every time a post about Callista Gingrich comes up because it’s just stunning.  M. Bouffant posted this pic of her over at BJ before she married Newt.  She was so cute!  Looking at her now makes me wanna cry.

Does Newt really think she looks better now?

I just have to pile on here.

I’m a teacher, and those “statistics” Hannity pulled out of his ass immediately struck me as bogus.

We teach California history in 4th grade. United States history is taught during 5th grade.*

Naturally, if you quiz 4th graders on U.S. history facts (as the “statistics” implied) you won’t get as good responses as the ones you’d get after 5th grade—after they’ve actually been exposed to the curriculum.

*California curriculum; your mileage may vary. But still.

She was so cute!

Umm, yeah, but look who she was with.  Realistically it was just a matter of time.

@asiangrrlMN — She definitely used to be less formal.

She definitely used to be less formal.

That chest merkin is so retro. No wonder they went for the Stepford makeover.

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