It’s a big fucking apology, man

I don’t know what’s wrong with kids today. Remember Joe Biden’s “It’s a big fuckin’ deal, man!” during the health care bill signing ceremony? I found it kinda endearing.

But some prissy little bastard in Kentucky (who describes himself as “A Concerned Christian Youth of Today’s America”) took offense and wrote an “open letter” to the veep. Here are a few excerpts:

Today is a sad day for my fellow Americans and me when such a powerful figure, such as yourself, could so loosely use the “F” word on national television. I know you have to understand the powerful influence you hold on children’s lives across the nation. As a junior in a public school in eastern Kentucky, it is hard enough to try to escape or get through the school day without hearing such perverse words from my own peers. However, to hear such a prominent man who helps hold our country in his hands blatantly use such a word makes me worry about my country’s morals and values.

[snip]

Many may say, I am so young what do I know? I know that I have grown up in a wonderful country that has tremendously changed throughout the years. Although I love the changes America has gone through with freedom, it frightens me to think of how weak Her morals and values are beginning to become. Vice-President Biden, you owe your fellow Americans, or at least its youth, an apology for the use of such an inappropriate word. I, for one, refuse to think that this is what has become of the English Language, especially when there are more powerful words and ways to get one’s point across.

Genuine good guy that he is, Biden actually sent a letter of apology to the squeamish little shit, saying, “I should have expressed my excitement in a more appropriate manner.”

The teen was excited to get the letter, but apparently Biden’s expression of regret wasn’t good enough:

“It was not really an apology, but that’s as close to an apology as I will be receiving,” said Brandon.

While Brandon is not sure if he is a republican or democrat, he says he will continue to hold politicians accountable.

“They are role models. They need to watch what they say in front of people and realize they influence other people’s lives,” said Brandon.

Let me spell it out for you, Brandon: The vice president apologized, so get the fuck over it. And although you are not yet of voting age, you are definitely a Republican: your ostentatious description of yourself as a “Concerned Christian Youth,” your priggish hand-wringing over the nation’s “morals and values”—even your use of the pronoun “Her” when referring to the US—all are dead giveaways.

Brandon, when I was in high school, George Herbert Walker Bush was vice president. He wouldn’t have accidentally said “shit” on a live mike if he had a mouthful of the substance. But he would participate in the subversion of the US Constitution, selling missiles to Iran to funnel money to right-wing death squads in Nicaragua. It was called “Iran-Contra.” You could look it up on Wikipedia or something.

My point, Brandon, is that while words like “fuck” might offend your tender sensibilities, there are more pressing concerns on our sad little planet. If you’ll deign to take advice from a foul-mouthed heathen, I urge you to acquaint yourself with them. I also implore you to learn to accept an expression of regret gracefully, especially when it comes from a very busy man whose job it is to help address our manifold crises, not play proper nanny to snot-nosed prigs such as yourself. 

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/19/10 at 06:56 AM • Permalink

One quibble, though:  Poppy Bush might have never said “shit” in the presence of a live mike, but there was this following the VP debate in 1984:

After a rally in Elizabeth, N.J., on Friday, a television boom mike caught [Bush] whispering to a longshoreman that “we tried to kick a little ass last night.” Realizing that the mike was on, the Vice President then exclaimed, “Whoops! Oh, God, he heard me! Turn that thing off.”

I’m just tiptoing in to drop this link and tiptoing out again. Never mind me.

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