It’s October—SURPRISE!

The days of October, 2012 are dwindling down to a precious few so, if there’s to be an “October Surprise” it had better surface now or forever hold its peace.  And wouldn’t you know it? just in time, as if from the gods, comes video documentary proof that President Barack Obama was, in fact, born in a Kenyan hospital.

A concerned native of Romania, who does business in Africa obtained the Birth of Obama video from an anonymous 60-year-old African friend, whereupon he uploaded a portion of said video to Vimeo and got on the horn to Donald Trump who seems willing to part with $5 million to keep the Kenyan Usurper from a second term in office.

Evidently the Birther community has learned a few things in the fact-finding school of hard knocks and they are skeptical, not to put to fine a point on it.  There do appear to be quite a few anachronisms and a handful of absurdities that make the film a bit of a hard sell:

The very fact that someone actually filmed a vaginal birth, in a Kenyan hospital in 1961 is a bit of a stretch.  Birth videologs didn’t become popular in Kenya until . . . well, not yet.

The Kenyan flag is proudly displayed on the foot of the hospital bed as well as on the doctor’s lapel.  The problem with that is that the flag in question was not adopted until 1963 and, according to the calendar prominently displayed on the wall of the hospital room (and ultimately zoomed on), the film was made in August, 1961.

Mr Rehnquist explains that Kenyans took that flag design out for a test spin for a few years before it became official.  No one wants to rush into a new flag design . . .

According to Mr. Rehnquist, the film itself was shot on a Kodak Super8 which didn’t make it to market until 1965.  Easily explained because the whole Obama clan were CIA operatives and the CIA gets hold of all sorts of advanced technology before anyone else.

The attending physician at the Birth of Obama appears to have a cutting edge (for 1961) plastic-tubed stethoscope wrapped around his neck and isoprene disposable surgical gloves that would have been a welcome item in any hospital of 1961.  To explain that, see CIA explanation above . . .

The chart at the foot of the hospital bed prominently displays the Mother of Obama’s maiden name, Stanley Ann Dunham, as well as a very nice photo from her yearbook which must be a quaint Kenyan hospital chart custom.  Now, Stanley Ann was Stanley Ann Obama at the time so this must be another Kenyan matrilineal custom . . . ?

Then we get to Baby Obama, himself.  The phenomenal child evidently sprang from the womb at record weight and with the development of a seven-month-old, eyes wide open and dry as a bone—too bad there was no sound back in those days, I’ll bet he said a few words of greeting, as well.  Equally amazing, he appears to have a record-breakingly short umbilical cord which oddly resembles a raw turkey neck.

Determined to get to the bottom of all this, intrepid Blaze reporter Madeleine Morgenstern, took the “bull” by the horns and interviewed Peter R. (as he was known, at the time) to get the real dope.

No problem, according to Peter R who knows a lot about Africans from doing business there: 

You might think the US is a fat society, but in Kenya they are born big and then they become light. Which is evidenced by the fact that today, Obama is really light and fit. That’s just the way it is.

And ooohhhhhh so much more, in the Blaze exclusive interview.

While dipping my toe into the shallow end at the Blaze (while trying not to get any more than necessary on me) I did decide to cruise the commentariat there to get a feel for how the feebleminded would react to this breaking news.  It was well worth the trip for entertainment value alone . . .











Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get on the horn to Peter R maybe he’ll know something about these emails I keep getting about my lost Nigerian inheritance . . .

Posted by Bette Noir on 10/27/12 at 10:10 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12Nutters

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I’m still chortling at the earlier interview with Rehnquist, at the time only known as “Peter R.,” at Vice—the interview he’s now trying to walk back and do some hefty ass-covering about at the Blaze. This is my favorite passage, which absolutely reeks of Essence de Grift:

When you first reached out to us you claimed that you were also trying to send the video to Donald Trump, and that you had contacted his office. Have they offered any response?

Yeah, Mr. Trump said he has like 5 million bucks to give out. And obviously Obama would never publish his college records and passport application, like Mr. Trump wants. So, the way I see it, that $5 million will go to waste. Maybe he’s willing to give it to me, to buy the video in its entirety.

That initial “Yeah” up there in Rehnquistspeak translates into English as “Nah”:

I’ve been contacting several of Trump’s associates, and I’m about to hopefully meet some of them either in a parking lot, or even in the lobby, and just take cash for it.

That “about to hopefully” up there in Rehnquistspeak translates into English as “Against all the odds, Donald Trump isn’t quite as dumb as he looks and sounds”:

I sent Trump only a single frame of the video, but since I haven’t heard back I have released this short clip in an attempt to get him to respond.

That’s hilarious! Wonder if some of the birthers will actually buy it.

Not to mention that the “mother” isn’t Stanley Ann Dunham Obama and that at the .14 mark you can see that the baby has teeth.

That video is from VICE. I am pretty damn sure no genuine birther approached them with this fake: they made the fake video and wrote an interview with several very obvious tells.

Well, that baby is massive. It looks like it’s at least a year old.
Babies are born heavy all the time; I see no issue with that. And I assure you, most of the general public has no idea how big infants are in Kenya.

You might think the US is a fat society, but in Kenya they are born big and then they become light. Which is evidenced by the fact that today, Obama is really light and fit. That’s just the way it is.

Parody or bait? Well, bait, I guess, since The Blaze snapped it up damn quick.

Somewhere, Alan Abel is kvelling. Maybe he can take “Rehnquist” (some VICE staffer or freelancer, I’m sure) out to lunch.

Comment by Comrade Mary on 10/27/12 at 01:32 PM

It was very helpful of the hospital to write Ms. Dunham’s name on her chart with a large-tipped marker so it would be visible on-camera.

You might even say it was might white of ‘em.

This was claimed to have been made from the original Super 8 movie film…except Super8 had not been invented yet (1965 IRR). 

The baby’s head looks like a 16 pound bowling ball.  Trying to squeeze that out would be a nightmare.

Comment on the Calendar in the pic.  The typeface is a computer typeface/font.  Also it seems the graphic for the calendar was created in 2005 by this guy (see below).

Awesome Owl of OW: l I contacted the artist and he replied: Hi, Awesome Owl. Thanks for the link. You would actually have to be near brain dead to believe that video, I CAN’T IMAGE ANYONE BELIEVING IT? Maybe I’m naive? The baby looks like a 6month old George Foreman.
The calendar is a 2013 calendar the actual image was made by me approx 2005.
What a joke.
I Will probably forward the link to my publishers
Steven Meyers

Comment by SueDB on 10/28/12 at 01:26 AM

Also the baby is reading a copy of Rules for Radicals, not published until 1971.

I am disappointed that James O’Keefe isn’t in this as the attending pimp.

You would actually have to be near brain dead to believe that video

NEAR brain dead?  I think you’re seriously overstating it.  Even Chief Editor Korir and his stashed in Norway *Whitey Tape* wasn’t this lame.

@Substance McGravitas—now, see? that’s what I love about your comments . . .

obtained the Birth of Obama video from an anonymous 60-year-old African friend

I wondered what Chief Editor Korir was up to these days.

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