It’s Official ... Rumproast Fucking Rules the Blogosphere ... Yet Another PUMA EPIC FAIL ...  Ha Ha!

Rumproast Fucking Rules the Blogosphere

Bow before us, we are the bestest most awesomest motherfucking smallest blog of all-time!!!  Woo hoo!!!  The official results of the Weblog Awards are finally in and we won! Not one vote was taken away from us, including any from Michigan! Fair reflection! We’re numero uno (that’s Mexican for “kickers of ass”)!

Of course, this win is even sweeter because we were the victims of a vicious, vile and another v-word attack by the hateful Lemmings of Stupid in the PUMAsphere who were aggressively campaigning cheating for a blogger in our category named Nice Deb, who apparently shares their impeccable values (which include hating Hillary, lesbians and swarthy brown people). Nice Deb, a blog with no prior connection with the PUMAs, was originally recommended by myiq1/2u (aka Clowny Boy), who can be found regularly pushing down his semis at the online hissy fit known as the Effluence, and several PUMA “leaders” (stop snickering), including Darragh Murphy, Will Bower and Riverchucky, followed suit and officially endorsed Nice Deb, a blog they never appeared to have read, over the “horrid Rumproast.”

Much hilarity followed when Wonkette’s Jim Newell had the audacity to ask his readers to support not only Wonkette, but also Rumproast, which the PUMAs instantly labeled as “cheating,” even though Jim was asking people to vote for his own blog (the horror!) and encouraging people to get behind this blog, which Wonkette had sourced and linked to three times in 2008 (I’m still waiting for examples of all of the PUMA love Nice Deb got before the awards finalists were announced). As we already knew from this endless election cycle, PUMAs are unrepentant liars and shameless smear merchants, so they temper-tantrumed their way around the blogosphere crying foul, even landing at the Weblog Awards’ discussion forums where they shrieked and howled even after the guys who run the awards, Kevin A. and Sean, patiently tried to talk them down off the ledge:

bostonboomer
Re: Liberal Blogs?
« Reply #17 on Jan 7, 2009, 1:53pm »
Unfortunately, Sean, it is your methods of discerning cheating that are not working. But it doesn’t matter at this point, because the Wonkette voters have already managed to game the results in several categories. Whatever.

image
PUMA Perl Processing Procedure

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any sillier, this happened:

We’ve figured out how “the site who must not be named” has been cheating.  It’s not through a proxy server.  (Hint: unplugging your modem and waiting 7 minutes is an unnecessary waste of time if you want high speed cheating. )  It should be easy to demonstrate how it is done with a script of the procedure.  Our resident perl hacker is pulling it together.  Of course, we would only be doing this for documentation and informational purposes, not cheating, and we’ll send the information to the proper people when we’re finished gathering our information.  We hope the Weblog Award admins will keep a close eye on this problem.  Hey, if it were me, I’d disqualify “the site that must not be named”, but it’s not my decision.  Cheaters ruin the fun for everyone by gaming the system and harrassing the blogs we like.  It’s not a good way to be popular.

Well, that magical perl haxxor script, which Murphy also promised in the comments at Wonkette, never materialized, and in the end not only did Wonkette and Rumproast end up annihilating the competition in our respective categories (thanks, in our case, to the now-legendary PUMA Boomerang Effect and a lot of support from some high-traffic blogs—see below), but every PUMA blog that was up for an award ended up losing, including a couple that, unlike the Effluence, seemed like shoo-ins in their categories before their wild-eyed petulant compatriots spread thick layers of their trademark EPIC FAIL all over the competition.

loser

So we’re going to go out on a big “win” and officially sign off as a PUMA “stalker blog” at the end of today. Of course, our wonderful ‘n’ witty community is still allowed to take potshots at them in the comments, but the editorial board of Rumproast has decided that we’re going to impose a moratorium on PUMA-related posts when the clock strikes midnight tonight. They’re attention-starved gluttons for punishment and they won’t have us kicking them around anymore.  We are no longer interested in feeding this particularly odious and ineffective beast, so savor the following one-word sentence, because you won’t be seeing it around these parts any time soon, at least above the fold…

Roar.

*****

RELATED: Big thanks to our pals in the blogosphere who supported us in the awards, including (but not limited to) Jim and Ken from Wonkette, Thers from Eschaton and Whiskey Fire, John from Balloon Juice (risking life and limb, I might add), Jesus’ General, Jon Swift, TS from Instaputz, and skippy. If you gave us a shout out during the awards and I didn’t list you, let me know in the comments. Also, congrats to all of the fine folks we endorsed in the awards who won and a hearty “job well done” to those who didn’t.  And, last but not least, we’d like to specifically thank the other bloggers in our category who got caught in the middle of this bloody turf war and were good sports about the whole mess.

MORE: If you need more evidence that the misogynists who run the Weblog Awards were “in the tank” for Rumproast, look no further than the winners badges, which are nearly the exact same colors as the Rumproast logo.  Selected not elected. We demand a floor vote! *fart*

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/16/09 at 10:41 AM • Permalink

Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsPUMAsRumproast RelatedSkull Hampers

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The Unstable Hambeast video broke it wide open.

Thanks Jen!

Suck it, PUMAs! This award is my god now…

I will miss your epic PUMA bashing, not just because it’s a victimless crime, but because it’s so fun reading their torqued-out bitter retard-demon responses.

Sigh.

But I’ve found rumproast, and that makes me hungry.

We are the World!

18 million strong!

Congratulations to Kevin K., the Rumproast blogpen and the larger Roastafarian Community of masked vigilantes, online stalkers and stand-up comedy-saboteurs.

I will miss the PUMAs—the same way I miss that psycho cheerleader I dumped at the Homecoming Dance, who tried to reignite my affections by burning down her parents’ house, sleeping with a diseased hobo and handing out flyers in the parking lot at Jo-Ann Fabrics enumerating my personal faults in a hand-printed list under an upside-down copy my yearbook photo with the words “Woman-Lynching Ego Dick—WHY???” scrawled across it in tear-streaked eyeliner. 

Sigh. Good times, good times.

StrangeAppar8us,

So that was you!  You looked pretty good for a 17 year old woman-lynching ego dick.

Strange - Jen was a cheerleader?

Wow, finally read that “Slut, Cunt, Bitch, Pussy, Sweetie” cry-for-help Murphy wrote.  Yikes.  Does anyone know who the little girl in the picture is?

I think a lot of credit must go to myiq2xu. I think his efforts on Wonkette and elsewhere served as a daily reminder to vote and vote hard, in case anyone wasn’t paying attention.

On Created in Birmingham, if you visit the UK blogs listed on the nominee page, you’ll see much of the story behind that contest and their well-deserved win.

I had a few reasons for not wanting to try to plug CiB on Wonkette, not least that I didn’t want to provoke a PUMA and hasbara backlash, as it was a pretty close contest, with Melanie Phillips shamelessly touting for legitimization of her rabidly pro-Zionist views and the rest of her extreme RW package. CiB wanted to win on their own merits, and were no doubt web-savvy enough to go a long way toward pulling it off.

Given that CiB won by not far off 1,000 votes, if the good folks who visit Rumproast voted for them, then you probably made a significant, if not decisive, contribution to their total which counteracted the hasbara vote (one rumor has it that there had been a lot of votes for Phillips from the US in particular during the overnight periods, though I’m not sure about the basis for that). The award will help CiB in negotiations with the authorities, who are wowed by such accolades, to carry on their good work.

I shot my bolt about the PUMA hypocrisy on an earlier post here, so I won’t repeat myself except to say again that when it comes to politics - most notably backing Nice Deb and papering over divisions in their camp about myego2xu (h/t PUMA PAC) - since they were willing to compromise their “liberal” values so totally over a relatively unimportant competition like this one, they’re obviously a political cheap date.

Congratulations, Kevin and the Rumproast bloggers! Trebles all round.

Comment by yetanotherfreakingbrit on 01/16/09 at 11:54 AM

I’m in moderation.  Can someone get me out?

*thud thud thud*

Is it because I wrote the name of “the site that gives us cooties”?

Halp.

Cheating is awesome!  I’m going to do it all the time now.

More importantly, accusations of cheating help us spot who the real losers are.  For example, when riverchucky writes (or spews, if you prefer):

Of course, we’re talking about Obama here so don’t hold your breath.  The guy got the nomination by theft.  (Don’t you stupid Obots go off about how Hillary ran a bad campaign.  Save your breath.  We know who actually ran a bad campaign because he required the RBC hearing to overturn primary results in order to barely eek out a win.  Deal with it, guys.  You elected the weakest link.)

I have to wonder if the pumarang effect is just like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.  Just as observing a quantum state, changes that state, might it be that a puma’s taunt makes a thing succeed?  Would Obama be president without pumarangness?  If that’s so, shouldn’t we be grateful?

Nah.

sex!st.

Testing.

What are these “PUMAS” of which you speak? ;)

“the pumarang effect”

Brilliant.

@Kevin K.

I have a wild guess it’s The Murphster, age 7 or so.

I’m actually quite happy about the coming PUMA moratorium. I’m sure there’ll be more than enough fodder for lower-level snark and boggling in the comments without the incitement of a full-blown post (though I do have my suspicions that something is going to come along and drive you to suspend it temporarily at some point, Kevin).

There’ve been reasonably long periods during the election and after when I’ve not visited the PUMA blogs at all, just reacted to their activities when they ventured out or escaped from their gated communities.

When I’ve eventually gone back to them, the experience has been akin to opening up a neglected kitchen cupboard to find that a bag of potatoes has gone feral - “Ohh ... my ... God ... Where’s the camera?”

I’ve probably shared too much about my housekeeping skills chez yetanotherfreaking brit there.

Man, that was a lot of FAIL, even by PUMA standards.

Shameless plug: I’ve started a PUMA stalker blog of my own to help fill the void being left by Rumproast as rr moves on to things that, you know, actually fucking matter!

Stupid PUMAs!

Well the PUMAs brought me here, then over to Wonkette and now I have thousands of jokes per week to steal,so god bless ‘em.

The PUMA jokes are still flowing over at Wonkette, so yall have done your job well.

Love your new blog Rob!

While I totally support the moratorium on PUMA posts, the pumarang effect is not to be dismissed lightly.  There needs to be a way to get them incensed and frothing against issues now and then when these are issues that need to succeed.  Perhaps we can use RobLanding’s venue now and then to incite them.  We just need to make sure they find it so they can start stalking it back.

Oh, and I said it yesterday, but I’ll say it again:

Rumproast RULES!!!!!

Well done Kevin.

While I respect the moratorium on pumakitty posts I have a $20 that says their future shenanigans will include such fucktarded behavior that you won’t be able to resist.

When that day comes I will happily pay up because I know the level of snark in whatever you post will be of such a caliber that it will be well worth it.

Upon reflection, the funniest aspect by far is what you mentioned above—that the PUMArang effect took out PUMA blogs that would have won if their comrades would’ve just kept their pieholes shut. That’s worse than epic fail. It’s exponential fail or something…

Sweet jumping Jebuz in a burning Prius, are these folks paranoid lunatics or what? What with all the perl scriptin’ and modem unpluggin’ I have to wonder how many LGF’rs they pulled away from serif inspection duties.

Opportunity cost, you know.

Anyway, congrats on the beefy victory! Even if it was, ya know, actually “earned” and not brilliantly scammed.

Does anyone else find it suspicious that the Weblogs Award Winner snipe just happens to match the Rumproast blog color-scheme…and that the maroon-and-gold design was chose before Rumproast was even nominated?

Something tells me Soros and the Chicago Machine were actively grooming RR for “bigger things” a lot earlier on than any of us suspected.

something is going to come along and drive you to suspend it temporarily

No doubt the PUMAs will generate some unique takes on the goings-on at the State Department…

Congrats on the award, and thanks to Wonk for introducing me to this place and its glorious snark.  May the archives stand forever as a testament to PUMA failure: “I am riverdaughter, queen of cats.  Look upon my posts, ye readers, and guffaw.”

AND WEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRRRIIIEEE—-NNNNNNDDDDD AND WE’LL KEEP ON FIIIIIIGGHTTIINNGG TO THE EEENNNNDDDDDD ...

Now all of you woman-lynching-cardboard-cut-out raping assholes go and unplug your modems and leave them unplugged for 10 minutes. There’ll be a big surprise when you spool back up. I promise.

Also, I have free coffee for anyone who would like a cup, just because.

Just. Because.

I don’t want to distract from all the rampant and throughly enjoyable triumphalism, but I want to add something that served as the packet of cheese and onion crisps to increase my enjoyment of the beer with which I’m toasting Rumproast’s victory.

On a thread where the delightful taggles is trying hard to stuff feminist icon Naomi Wolf under the bus, because that hateful Naomi dissed PUMAs on CNN as “that other group” and described them as a “right-wing funded front”, myiq2xu offers a devastating dissection of her oeuvre

myiq2xu, on January 16th, 2009 at 1:15 pm Said:

Naomi spelled backwards is “I moan”

and goes on to question her feminist credentials.

Sorry, I just had to share that.

Comment by yetanotherfreakingbrit on 01/16/09 at 01:54 PM

I liked how Taggles is “confused” as to why Siskind wouldn’t want to publicly align herself with PUMAs on CNN. Do the words “laughing stock” mean anything to this woman? And she conveniently forgets to mention the falling out that occurred between Siskind and Harriet, Murphy and taggles over BettyJean #####. I’m guessing after taggles posted siskind’s emails are over the place, maybe Siskind, like, doesn’t much care for her. Just a guess.

I guess Siskind’s reference to PUMAs as “That Other Group” makes them the “That One” of feminist political pariahs.

How fitting. “PUMA” is to “Feminism” what “Obama” is to “PUMA.”

My glee is unbounded.

Seriously, get help.

Speaking of PUMA and EPIC fail.

Hero Larry Sinclair has published his “book”. Check out this video at reg-u-la-tor:

http://theregulator.net/?p=2013

Pause it so you can read the pages. Hilarious!

Comment by Glix on 01/16/09 at 02:26 PM

Like others, I found this blog because it told the truth about Chucky,Murphy,etc.  But I agree, it’s time to move on. 
On that note, I thought I’d share my introduction to the puma “movement”
  It was sent to a list I subscribe to back in May ‘08,around the time of the WV primary. It isn’t much different from what you see at Chucky’s site today.  When asked to prove the allegations, she couldn’t offer any:
————————&# 8212;———————— ;————————
LoraV wrote:

There are several sides to every story.

As any veteran political activist knows, the insults are freely hurled
at us for choosing a candidate who most embodies our hopes for our
country.

Obama supporters are not innocents; they are militant with the insults,
the character assassinations, the threats of violence.

While attending the rally at the Capitol complex in Charleston, Obama
supporters were handing out flyers to Clinton supporters advising that
if Obama is not appointed the democratic nominee, then Denver would be
sacked by riots.

During the same rally, Clinton supporters’ cars were vandolized in the
parking lots.

On a separate day, a man who had travelled from afar, arrived in
Charleston in his van which was heavily promoting Hillary Clinton, and
he barely survived the three bullets that were fired into his van,
narrowly missing his head.

Here in Cabell and Wayne counties, over 100 Hillary yard signs were
stolen from the road sides—consituting a felony.

One Obama supporter misrepresented himself (by lying) by attending
Bill Clinton’s event in Wayne, and promoted himself to unsuspecting
Clinton volunteers as having “voted for Clinton” the previous week.

Hillary supporters on the sidewalks, conducting visability
‘honk-and-waves’ were accosted verbally for over twenty minutes
straight by an Obama supporter.

Point is… this is what people do during a heated campaign. If the
candidate of unity would utilize his skill, I am certain he could talk
to his fans and explain to them again about hope, and friendship, and
getting along with everyone. So.. no name calling, stealling, shooting,
or vandalism.

And.. for the record, after calling thousands of people for days and
days across this great state of WV… the outside media have it
wrong… WV people were not racist in their decisions. The thousands I
spoke with were more concerned with the economy and they believe in and
have a faith in Clinton to understand their values. Obama just didn’t
connect that way with the people in the hills. Only one man said he
couldn’t vote for a black man… and he was the same man who said he
could not vote for a woman, either.

Daragh now making the hard sell for donations. I think the FEC fine letter may have come.

Balls. That was Naomi Wolff, not Siskind.

Same net effect, though.

I love how they pimp Iron Jawed Angels all over PUMAland. I guess they just block out the scene where Ida B. Wells refuses to stay in the back of the segregated suffrage parade with the other black women.

Or maybe they just assume such a segregationist stance is the right one to take against an inadequate black female and empty suit like Wells. I mean, other than fight actual lynching and jim crow laws all her adult life, what did that bitch ever do for anybody?

Only White Vagina-Americans Have Ever Suffered Oppression!

It’s Wolf. Not Wolff. It’s a completely understandable error as the Effluence crew obviously haven’t a clue about it, and you’ve just been reading their effusions.

I had to double-check myself to be sure. I do that all the time with names - professional training - though I’ll still fuck up at times when writing informally, like here.

But when people who proclaim themselves as hardline “liberal feminists” are as free with the spelling as these PUMAs are, it does make this jaded old male who’s long been exposed to feminism by actually living with feminists and paying attention to them and trying to keep up, it just adds to my cynicism about whether they’ve been concerned about feminism at all before it served their political goals.

Not that Wolf is without her controversy as a feminist (broad church etc. etc.), but not on any of the grounds these PUMAs have spouted about.

I liked how Taggles is “confused” as to why Siskind wouldn’t want to publicly align herself with PUMAs on CNN.

Heck, she’s probably still wondering why Krystal never invites Alexis to lunch.

The New Agenda has been trying to scrub away the PUMA funk since Murphy & Bower made such colossal fools of themselves over the fund-raising thing. But I think they totally deserve the PUMA-taint.

@yetanotherfreakingbrit

Thanks for the kind correction. I’m supposed to be an editor, but I’m truly sucking today. Luckily for me, while online comments are immortal, you don’t have to pay twice for pre-press when you fuck up here.

I think the moratorium is premature. Why missed out on (at the very least) the first week of Barack X’s presidency?

The crazy is going to be pretty significant methinks.

Strangey—This wasn’t me being diplomatic:

It’s a completely understandable error

When you see something misspelt so often in a certain context, you can doubt your own memory, and may casually adopt it when focusing on larger issues.

A trivial point, to be sure, but I’ve quaffed enough beer to emphasize my inherent pedantic dweebness without the alcohol kicking in sufficiently for me to attain that delicious state where I no longer giveadamn.

I’m working on it. It is Friday, after all.

Cheersh! Here’sh to Rumproasht, and all who shail in her.

The crazy is going to be pretty significant methinks.

It’s a good point.  My only thought is that the crazies at NRO may fill that void.  Jonah Goldberg anyone?

My only thought is that the crazies at NRO may fill that void.

NRO and a host of other wholesale wingnut retardation outlets that have the advantage of representing the views of a significant chunk of the US electorate, something PUMA has demonstrated beyond all possible doubt that it does NOT have.

Congratulations on the win.  (Attn: lurking PUMAs, ha ha, you bunch of fucking losers.)

(which include hating Hillary, lesbians and swarthy brown people).

From their point of view one out of three ain’t bad.  In fact it’s awesome. 

I understand walking away from anti-PUMA blogging but do you really want to miss out on the reaction to Obama’s inauguration?  It’s going to be hilarious. It doesn’t even have to be a whole week.  If not a week, how about a couple of days? 24 hours maybe?  (Attn: lurking PUMAs, ha ha, enjoy seeing a brown man being sworn in you bunch of fucking losers.)

I probably shouldn’t post this here, but I think I can trust you. This is the actual unbeatable Perl script that they wrote. If you run it, you will see that it really works!

#!perl
open (TOCURL, "| curl") or die ("It worked!");
print
TOCURL "http://weblogawards.org/cgi-bin/vote.pl?cheat=true& vote=pumablogs&override_security=true";
close TOCURL;
print
"It really worked! No, really, it did!";

I don’t know why we didn’t protect ourselves against this sort of thing. I reckon I’m just an idiot.

Sean—You are right!  I tried it and my computer gave me this message:

“It really worked!  No, really, it did!”

:D

@Sean Gleeson

Wow. That’s 13 lines shorter than the one I was running.

Then again, I was also subtracting previously-logged votes from the blogs I didn’t like.

Thanks for sharing…and thanks for the trust. Here’s hoping the awards were a ginormous success for you folks, as well! We’re already, like, rich and stuff as a result of our Total Small-Blog Domination.

Regarding the inauguration and the PUMAs, we’ll have an open thread or two open on that day and I fully trust our commenters to do a wonderful job when it comes to updates.

Sean—You are right!  I tried it and my computer gave me this message:

“It really worked!  No, really, it did!”

Without laughing at me for my total cluelessness about this stuff but can you tell me - were you just kidding there or did you actually do something with that red and blue stuff?  If so what did you do?  I want to make my computer do that too!

Hats off to you, Sean. You obviously have a very healthy sense of humor - which I’d imagine is a must when people get petulant about the awards. Assuming this was you and not an imposter, I’d just like to say bravo!

I am frankly surprised that here, two years since I designed it, you are still the only blogger who noted the phallic imagery in the Weblog Awards logo. And even you didn’t get the real symbolism!

Sure, it’s a penis… but whose? Did you notice that it’s golden? That’s a clue! Who has the most famous golden phallus in the world? That’s right, the statue of Prometheus at Rockefeller center. (I mean, you can’t see it on the statue, but he’s got one, all right.) I had thought that much would be obvious to anyone, but in retrospect, I suppose I should have labeled it.

Knowing this, the real meaning of the logo is now so clear to a person of your perspicacity, that it would only be pedantry to explain it further. And you undoubtedly see the whole program in a new light. Looking forward to your follow-up post.

http://whiskeyfire.typepad.com/whiskey_fire/2009/01/ sweet-flesh-prize.html#comment-144445274

Comment by yetanotherfreakingbrit on 01/16/09 at 07:01 PM

Without laughing at me for my total cluelessness about this stuff but can you tell me - were you just kidding there or did you actually do something with that red and blue stuff?  If so what did you do?  I want to make my computer do that too!

Marin, do not run that script.  If you do, Harriet Christian will fly south for the winter.

On second thought…

Sean, very funny, but it gave nightmares.  I used to do some lightweight web front-end Perl coding back in my early web days.

Kevin & Co., congratulations. Very cool to see the recognition come your way. Good job. Keep up the good work. Oopah!

What do you mean “Not one vote was taken away from us”?  You mean none of us are cheaters?  Damn, that’s sad. 

Or are we such good cheaters no one noticed?*

*shh, don’t anyone tell the Pumas

Congratulations Kevin.  Although my internetting on your blog has cut deeply into my surfing for watersports sites, I have found here some interesting posts.  All of your fellow teammates at the Cheshire Water Polo Club are damn proud of you!  Now, get your Speedo resewn and get back up here!

congrats, kevin!  it couldn’t happen to a nicer blog!

Excellent!

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