Jesus, General Patton and Miss California USA
So this Carrie keeps her title despite getting caught displaying her dirtypillows for all the world to see. Since I believe beauty pageants are as much about wholesomeness and talent as Playboy is about informative articles, I normally wouldn’t give a shit.
But pageant owner Donald Trump and Miss California USA Carrie Prejean are trying to spin this as a triumph of the odd tag-team of Jesus and General Patton over the sinister forces of The Gay PC Police. And that meme needs to have a sash wrapped around its neck and tiara shoved up its ass right now.
Prejean: ““I would just like to thank Mr. Trump for believing in me and allowing me to continue as Miss California USA,” she said. “Most importantly I would like to thank God for testing me with this large task and giving me the strength to stand by my beliefs. I answered my question honestly from my heart…
I am proud to that I’m an American. My grandfather served under General Patton during World War II and that’s something I appreciate greatly,” she said. “He taught me to never back down and to never let anyone take those freedoms away from you. This should not happen in America. It undermines the constitutional rights for which my grandfather fought for.”
God didn’t test you, you silly twit. Your “opposite marriage” advocacy didn’t land you in hot water—lying on your pageant application about posing semi-nude in the past did. (Never mind the absurdity of a fucking beauty pageant barring contestants for past participation in slightly harder core wank photo ops.)
Ms. Prejean, no one is trying to take away your God-given American right to be a vacuous cretin. And Trump doesn’t “believe” in you—he sees you as a commodity he can buy and sell like a high-interest junk bond.
Oh sure, he may look like a fool, appearing in public for years as he has with a glob of shower-drain trappings glued to his head. But Trump knows an opportunity when he sees one, and he hasn’t bounced a Czech since Ivana. He is at his oily best when increasing his assets:
Trump said the controversy over Prejean’s comments proved that the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, both of which he owns, are relevant to today’s society and have eclipsed Miss America as the premier beauty pageant.
For all I know, Trump is right and those pageants have eclipsed Miss America as the “premier beauty pageant.” It’s a dubious distinction in any case—on par with winning Miss Landfill.
But on what planet does that matter? One on which Donald Trump assumes the status of supreme arbiter of moral turpitude, I suppose. Meanwhile, on this planet, other grandchildren of WWII veterans—like my gay sister—actually do suffer discrimination. The end.
[Cross-posted at Betty Cracker]
Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/12/09 at 03:54 PM • Permalink
Categories:
Share this post: 
