Lemme put on my thinking cloud

In your face, well-adjusted people free of suicidal ideation who cultivate social support systems and are capable of enjoying life’s simple pleasures!

(high-fives roughly 60% of everyone on the internet)

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/30/09 at 07:58 PM • Permalink

Categories: Messylaneous

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So depression must be an adaptation of some sort, since it has persisted? I’m not sure I got the gist of that article, which saddens me.

If there were an ounce of truth to this theory, I would have already cured Crohn’s disease, commercialized a practical anti-gravity technology, perfected zero-point energy and figured out how to make my toilet finish flushing before the tank-valve closes.

If nothing else, you’d think I would have figured out a way to beat depression by now.

This helps explain why it is that the better the days I have, the more I tend to dwell on what went wrong.  Sometimes I hate being overly analytical.

So how do they explain dumb depressed people like me?  And no, I’m not smart enough to read the article to see if the dumb depressed question is addressed.

Perhaps the concentration on the negative made sense for hunter-gatherers who, when they spotted a movement and a pair of glowing eyes in the bush at dusk, to grab their berries and go. Prey animals don’t seem to me the most joyful of creatures.

Predators seem to have much more of a par-tay attitude.

“who needed to grab their berries and go.”

Not particularly concentrating well, but then I’m a relentlessly chirpy person, so I hope allowances will be made.

Analytical skills enhanced by depression? I recall periods where the question “Do you want to go upstairs? Or downstairs?” was enough to make me bust out crying.

This article sounded like a good waste of grant money. I’m sure the authors will come up with a great study on whether Alzheimer’s enhances creativity before they start having to live on ramen noodles. (Do I have the energy for a gas tax snipe? Nope. )

I’m so bummed-out by this thread I think I’m going to put on Trans Europe Express and develop a satisfactory thermal-kinetic model that validates the possibility of cold fusion despite the observed statistical infrequency of high-excess-energy-releasing Helium-4 + Gamma ray pathways for D+D intermediary fusion product decay.

Hell, it’s got to be more fun than spending another night fucking around with the Quantum Time Exchanger.

Okay, this thread’s telling me that I underestimated. I didn’t want two fives in the same sentence and 70% just seemed like overkill, but I still thought it was hyberbole.

To the doubters—yeah, I sorta think it’s just another chapter in the ongoing saga of people not distinguishing between “depression” and “getting bummed out.” Anne Laurie said right there in the post, “I used to get depressed when I did math,” and all I could think of was Bob Saget in the NA scene from Half Baked: “Y’ever suck dick for marijuana?” (almost btought it up in the post but when I try to gently rib someone THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD GOES INSANE)

But it’s true at a very basic level, apart from actual mental health issues. I’ve always said comedians skew miserable not because unhappiness makes you funny, but because it gives you focus. All a joke is is the result of obsessing over, well, everything, but primarily language.

And come to think of it, Carlin wasn’t clinical. He had a sadness to him but it wasn’t directed inward. Y’know, the more I think about it the more it bothers me that they’re throwing the term “depressive” around.

Oh hey, look what I found. They musta gotten their archivin’ shit together finally, I’ve been trying to find this one ever since I saw it in print. Funny regardless but the ashtray on the belly puts it over the top.

This too.

Strange, good for you, man, way to ride the nexus of despair and genius. Me, I’m gonna specify “schoolgirl” in my porn search—there’s always an equation on the blackboard in those.

Comment by gil mann on 08/30/09 at 10:12 PM

When depressed I can’t make the energy to tie my shoes let alone attempt complex thought processes. Hell I can’t type “thought processes”.

I would have loved to be one of the test cases, but I wouldn’t have the energy to get there :-)

Decay, decay, it’s always about decay. Decay, and negative charges. Negative charges, and palladium deformation. Deformation, and infrequency. Excess energy? Hah! Try equilibrium separation.

Not that I’m bitter.

The only thing more annoying than a regular PUMA is a Japanese robot PUMA.

I swear to God, if you’d been here five minutes ago, that gag would have made sense.

but when I try to gently rib someone THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD GOES INSANE

Imagine what this blog would be like if lambert and the bf’er had attack dogs, too.

I do find that when I charge in to tackle a big task (like cleaning out the junk closet or something) I look at it and feel depressed.  Which makes me sit back and break the problem down into smaller elements (first, take everything out and organize it into piles) and then I can get it done.  I am aware, however, that this isn’t even close to clinical depression and, having had close family members suffer from depression and gone through it with them, the two experiences are miles apart.  It felt to me like that article was interchanging occasional situational depression with the real thing and I’m not sure I agree with their conclusions.

Also.  I love The Onion.  And I assume the only reason that second link didn’t list 60% Blogging was due to a timing issue.

Please imagine that the comma in that first sentence doesn’t exist.  I’d go into the admin and edit it out but that could be hackery.

that could be hackery

If it undermined a central thesis of your argument after somebody else had pointed it out, I guess it could. ;)

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