Letter from a Birmingham Tanning Salon

Background: On July 18, 2010, The Teabaggers kicked Mark Williams out of the kool kids klub for being a racist.* Disappointed that they refused to join his crusade against the NAACP, the only racist organization in ReaLAMErica, Williams spent some time in a Birmingham tanning salon.

Here is an excerpt of the letter he penned while waiting for a bed to become available:

My disappointment was a grandstanding statement on national television about expelling an individual (me) and my 34 other staff and performers from a grassroots movement that does nothing more than support the Constitution of theses United States because of the Constitutionally guaranteed exercise of the Creator’s endowed freedom to thought and expression is at least as damaging as the rest of the rhetoric that Morial, Sharpton, Dorelli and Shelton hammered such a delicate end.

I am afraid that David Webb of the National Tea Party Federation not only misunderstands why the Federation was formed in the first place and with a few ill-advised words aimed at the tea party itself has endangered the peace and potential fro progress that we saw unfold on national television last night.

*Gee, I can’t imagine why:

I would suggest to those offended by the term “Colored People” (the phrase that made my article so controversial) please contact the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and join me in calling for an end to their use of the racial slur.

See Also2.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 07/18/10 at 07:31 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

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Do these people LISTEN to the shit that comes out of their mouths?  DO THEY?

The irony of a white racist who mocked the use of “colored people” by the NAACP writing a lame defense of his actions while waiting to artificially darken his skin is more deliciously layered than a pousse café.

Where’s Dick Armey?  His FreedomWorks funds the TeaPartyExpress.  Why isn’t Armey on CNN defending his project?

There they go again, mixing the Declaration of Independence with the Bill of Rights

This post title should be enshrined in The Post Title Hall of Fame.

Heaven bless you, HTP; it wasn’t clear to me that you weren’t writing this letter yourself until I followed your link to BJ and read the rest.

Heavy is the Mantel of TeaBigot non-Leadership!

Wait—those quotes aren’t parody?  The way they go on and on and then go on and on and continue to onward go and go and never?

Mrs. Polly had the same reaction, too.

All that, PLUS the chin-raised indignation.  That’s entertainment!

it wasn’t clear to me that you weren’t writing this letter yourself until I followed your link to BJ and read the rest.

The blockquotes are 100% unadulterated Mr. Williams. Including the typos. And the feeling you’re reading something by a contact cement addict. And the racism.

The links will take you to even more Mr. Williams and his crusade against the National Association for the Assault on Courageous Patriots. But I wouldn’t do it on a full stomach.

I got a press release from Tea Party Express this morning about all this - here it is in full:


“The Tea Party Express with over 400,000 members is by far larger than the Tea Party Federation’s entire membership.  Most rank-and-file tea party activists think we’re talking about Star Trek when we try to explain who the “Federation” is. Given the absurdity of the actions by the “Federation,” this is quite fitting, since their conduct is alien to our membership.

“Groups trying to say who can or can’t be ‘expelled’ from the tea party movement is arrogant and preposterous.  Perhaps this explains why so many tea party groups have left the “Federation” during the past few months.  Whatever the reason, most tea party activists are focused on taking back their country and the upcoming 2010 elections and not silly power games being played by individuals such as those in the “Federation.”

“To add to the absurdity of the “Federation” they have also informed us that our members can’t participate in something called their “basecamp” communication network, which makes us think that the individuals involved in the “Federation” spend a bit too much time watching science fiction movies and cartoons.  We here at the Tea Party Express prefer a focus that is more grounded in the Constitution and electing tea party conservatives to offices of import in these 2010 elections.

The “Federation” has enabled and empowered the NAACP’s racist attacks on the tea party movement, and they should be ashamed of themselves.

“Circular firing squads of groups within the tea party movement attacking one another accomplish nothing, and on this issue the Tea Party Federation is wrong, and has both enabled and empowered the NAACP’s racist attacks on the tea party movement.  Which is something they’ll realize when they beam themselves back from basecamp.”


Ordinarily I delete these suckers without a glance, but I had a hunch this one would be more entertaining than usual…

Oh man, we’ve reached the “Mine’s Bigger!” stage of the fight already.

Thanks for sharing this. Yes, it will be a blog post in the near future.

@Stephen1947—That email is such a moussey parfait of juvenile internecine hatchetry and Tantric Truth Aversion that I wish I could have it framed as a needlepoint on my office wall.

Now the ‘baggers are holding a “race summit” at the end of the month, an event which promises to showcase all 8 black teabaggers in a single venue. What could possibly go wrong?

an event which promises to showcase all 8 black teabaggers in a single venue. What could possibly go wrong?

Besides baggers getting the wrong idea when they hear there will be a silent auction.

“Now who’s going to wear this pretty red jacket and hold up this lantern? WHO?”

(Oh look, the Handbasket Express to Hell is here. Where’s my ticket?)

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