Life Imitates Bad Art (or Vice-Versa): Al Gore’s “Treat Box”

Apologies. I don’t mean to self-promote, but Limbaugh was just reviewing some of the details of Al Gore’s alleged Were-Poodle escapade with a masseuse in Portland, and brought up an apparently infamous revelation from the police report regarding the logistics of Liberal love-making.

Byron York provides this narrative:

She wanted to end the session, but Gore “wrapped me in an inescapable embrace” and “caressed my back and buttocks and breasts.” She tried to get away—in the process calling Gore a “crazed sex poodle”—but the former vice president was too strong for her.

A little later, she said, Gore produced a bottle of brandy and mentioned there were condoms in the “treat box” provided by the hotel. “He then forced an open mouth kiss on me,” she said.

...which makes me wonder if I should reclassify this passage from my fictitious fictional blockbuster Who Blog in Darkness as “non-fiction,” “automatic writing,” “remote viewing,” “docudrama” or just “shamelessly derivative”:

“Have you ever been with a real woman before?” Raven asked, cooingly.

“Fuck if I know,” I answered, with a look of brooding, mannish intensity. “But I keep condoms in that Mentos tin, as Chairman Mao instructed.”

Not even published, and already clichéd. Ecclesiastes was right.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/10 at 12:17 PM • Permalink

Categories: Skull Hampers

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Hahaha, aw man, I’m worried about you.  You’re having to run so fast with your fiction to stay ahead of looney-toons “reality”.

Don’t stroke out - you’re too valuable!

Life was good before I read the words “Al Gore’s Treat Box”.

Less Ecclesiastes, more Genesis.

@meepmeep09—You’re too kind. But don’t encourage me or I’ll post more silly stuff like the post above this.

@Tom65—You’re right. I should have used “Intimacy Kit.”

Ecclesiastes and Lily Tomlin also too.

  “shamelessly derivative”:

Strange, I think what you’re looking for is “shamelessly prerivative.”

My. I remember when all Al wanted was to put Social Security in a lock box. If he’d called it a Treat Box, how the course of history might have changed.

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