Like the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest but Really Stupid Instead of Urbane

So I stumbled across this guy at RedState.

Can’t say I’ve improved upon his work any, but what couldn’t use a dose of 80s nostalgia, that’s my motto.

Template after the jump. Author of the best submission gets whisked away under cover of night to a vault hundreds of feet underground and allowed to gaze for a full thirty seconds upon the only New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner that’s funny even if you don’t account for its creation. Then the bag goes back over your head, and after what feels like a forty-five minute drive you get tossed into a ditch and have to find your way home.

Hey, since you’re here, tell me they’re not nuts for not picking mine:

The winner, “Are you now or have you ever been?” is really more clever than funny, when you think about it. And his suit was so outsized, ‘member? Those fools at the New Yorker—soon they’ll see. Soon THEY’LL ALL SEE

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/10/12 at 12:34 AM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I Like •

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Hamlet. Up from my cabin,
My sea-gown scarf’d about me, in the dark
Grop’d I to find out them; had my desire,
Finger’d their packet, and in fine withdrew
To mine own room again; making so bold
(My fears forgetting manners) to unseal
Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio
(O royal knavery!), an exact command,
Larded with many several sorts of reasons,
Importing Denmark’s health, and England’s too,
With, hoo! such bugs and goblins in my life-
That, on the supervise, no leisure bated,
No, not to stay the finding of the axe,
My head should be struck off.

Horatio. No “leisure” “bated”? Yeah right!

Comment by Angry Geometer on 01/10/12 at 06:13 AM

KID #1: ...an’ no one’ll be able t’ stop me! ‘Cuz I’ll be TH’ DECIDER!!!

KID #2: Teacher! George is off his meds again!

Comment by Frank Stone on 01/10/12 at 06:39 AM

Kid #1: “We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories ... And we’ll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven’t found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they’re wrong, we found them.”

Kid #2: Last week he was a fighter pilot.

Comment by Bette Noir on 01/10/12 at 08:27 AM

Ha, it really does look like Bush by way of a political cartoonist. Never understood why nobody could get a handle on that guy in eight years—it’s like everyone saw a Luckovich panel and said “yep, Dubya’s the guy with the huge ears.” Ted Rall stepped it up with the inclusion of Nixonesque 5 O’Clock shadow, because Bush was so manly and rough-hewn, I guess?

Anyway, y’all can call me “AG Holder,” ‘cause I really wanna hug Angry Geometer right about now.