Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Creepers

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[Note to Roasters: By the time this is published many of the links in this post may have 404d.  The subject of the post is doing some pretty extensive damage control on his own links so I’ve tried to provide alternatives with clips from original.]

Every once in a while, on a Sunday, I’m moved to check up on what the God-botherers are up to, just for the hell it.  It just so happens that this week the hot story along those lines has to do with one Justin Lookadoo (I know?) whose current “ministry” is as a motivational speaker for high-schoolers [and any other age group that can cough up his speaker’s fee].

From what I can tell, the cool thing about being a Christian motivational speaker is that you don’t need any qualifications outside of being a Christian to make a full-time job of it.  Lookadoo couldn’t peddle his public speaking skills to bankers, for example, because he doesn’t know squat about high yield funds or T-Bonds.

But no-one has any problem signing him up to entertain 4th period hump-day assemblies because he, like his audience, was a teenager, attended high school and he’s Christian and that’ll do the kids some good, right?

Granted, in public schools, guys like Lookadoo have to “hide their light under a bushel” because . . . separation of church and state.  But, Texas, which is different, in many ways, is sort of relaxed about such quibbles.

And, so it is that Justin Lookadoo found himself before an auditorium full of teenagers at a high school in Richardson, TX, this week, just like thousands of other school speaking engagements he’s done over the years. 

Except that this one broke bad and went viral.  The kids in the audience started critiquing Lookadoo on Twitter and to say that they “pwned” him is something of an understatement.

Here’s a sampling of contributions under what the kids dubbed #lookadouche:

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Justin Lookadoo wasn’t always a teen dating expert, though.  Before that he was a “pray away the gay” camp counselor for Exodus International.  When Alan Chambers, founder of Exodus International, shut the thing down and apologized to the world for making gay youths miserable,” Lookadoo was out of a job and shifted his focus to counselling kids on the ins and outs of Christian dating.  Unfortunately, Lookadoo’s creepy sexual stereotypes and relationship advice are apparently repugnant to today’s kids.

Lookadoo has written a number of books on the subject, that he describes as bestsellers in his bio, that give some insight into the dark world of dating according to Lookadoo.  Take a stroll around his website, RUDateable.com and [spoiler alert!] prepare to be disgusted.  As I said above, some of the most disgusting bits have vanished, but here’s one that was clipped and saved by Brittany Shey of the Houston Press Hairballs blog:

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Depicts his answer to “How old are you? . . . . just a little statutory rape humor.

Some sample dating advice from Lookadoo’s books:

Dateable girls “know when to shut up”

and

Men of God are wild, not domesticated. Dateable guys aren’t tamed.

Please, please don’t tease us. To show us your hot little body … and then tell us we can’t touch it is being a tease. You can’t look that sexy and then tell us to be on our best behavior.

Girls will lie to themselves to get what they want.

Accept your girly-ness. You’re a girl. Be proud of all that means. You are soft, you are gentle, you are a woman.

Dateable girls know that guys need to be needed. A Dateable girl isn’t Miss Independent.

Being a guy is good. Dateable guys know they aren’t as sensitive as girls and that’s okay. They know they are stronger, more dangerous, and more adventurous and that’s okay. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys.

Keep it covered up. Dateable guys know that porn is bad for the spirit and the mind. They keep women covered up.

Ava Vidal of The Telegraph had the best reaction to that list:

I do not like to play ‘what if’s’ but I will in this case. What if this man were a Muslim? There is no way on God’s green earth he would ever be allowed to dispense this kind of advice. And every single line would be scrutinised and used to illustrate what a sick religion Islam is.

Back in July of this year, a blogger at patheos.com who has written extensively about rape myths, and rape culture singled out Lookadoo’s book as the worst book in the category of Christian dating manuals because it “constantly dehumanizes women.”

So, how is it that so many schools [4,000 by Lookadoo’s own count] are willing to pay Lookadoo thousands of [taxpayer] dollars to stop by and gross out their kids, who, by the way, show a level of maturity and sophistication on this particular subject that put Lookadoo and the school administrators that vetted him and hired him to shame?

Well, evidently, there are some folks out there that believe that Lookadoo’s approach is just fine, dandy and wholesome.  Unfortunately, some of them are in a position to decide who influences our children’s education:

Justin is the BEST SPEAKER we have ever had. He has been to my school for 5 straight years and he will come back as long as he wants.” Becky Clapp, Principal, Tyler ISD

Justin understands teens! And better yet, they understand him. The connection between them is amazing. They are captivated by all he has to say and really take to heart his counsel.”—Vicki Spriggs, Executive Director of Texas Juvenile Probation Commission

Justin is the only speaker that brought a change to this campus.—Vicki Neil of Rice Elementary

These kids remember what he says every year. I just saw him do three different programs for three grades in ONE day. It was amazing the transformation that happened as we walked from one location to the other. Within a matter of a few minutes, he went from a high school to an elementary level. Incredible talent!”—Mike Griffin, principal, Lindale Intermediate School

The disastrous program at Richardson, TX this week was, after all, a PTA sponsored assembly, so somebody’s parents probably nominated this guy.

I took a look at Lookadoo’s Facebook page to get a feel for where the guy’s coming from and whether or not the kids might possibly have over-reacted.  Here’s what I found:

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So, no . . . the guy is a creeper from start to finish. The kids of Richardson, TX, on the other hand, have a pretty strong survival instinct, know BS when they see it and have a refreshing perspective on gender stereotyping. They make me believe that all may not be lost.  Now, if the adults in their lives will stop trying to tinker with the better angels of their kids’ nature, we may be looking at a brighter future.

Way to glow, RISDs!

NOTE to School Administrators:  Do your job, for God’s sake.  Before this happened in Richardson, 30 seconds on the google and you would have known that Lookadoo’s a whackadoo.  There are more Nutjobs-for-Jesus out there trying to spin gold out of religion than you can shake a stick at.

Posted by Bette Noir on 11/17/13 at 01:00 PM • Permalink

Categories: CrittersPoliticsNuttersWar On WomenRelijun

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Got curious, so I pulled up Lookadoo’s book Dateable and had a look. Dear God, this thing could not be more patronizing. It’s written in this ridiculous faux-hip lingo, it’s got little doodles all over the pages and even in the text…it’s amazing, like something I’d have been ashamed to read at age ten. Look, teenagers are stupid, but they’re not that stupid. They might have a lack of perspective and humility, but they can process and comprehend arguments written in plain language, I assure you. Hell, even the other Christian dating manuals Moon mentioned refrain from dumbing it down, but not Lookadoo, oh no.

As to the content…This guy’s vision of the sexes is amazing. He depicts young women as hopeless co-dependents fated to latch onto the first man who talks to them, almost like a chick imprinting on another animal. Gee, I can’t imagine why the girls in the audience were offended by this. His description of men isn’t as blatantly offensive, but it’s no less reductionist. You see, in Lookadoo land, manly men are too busy with conquest and exploration to have any time for love - because if there’s one thing teenage boys are obsessed with, it’s their legacy?

The really weird part is that he’s presenting this as though it were God’s plan. Really? So God’s plan was to make it so that it took people of two genders to reproduce, but them mutually incompatible? Was He messing with us? And even if I accept that your stereotypes are true, why are you assuming that they are innate? Isn’t it possible that, in a society that pushes boys into mindless competition almost as soon as they exit the canal while grooming girls for a lifetime of tying their self-worth to other people rather than achievement, that this might have some impact on the kids? If that’s the case, might it be a bad idea to write a book trying to convince them that they shouldn’t even bother resisting those stereotypes?

Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be…

Let’s apply some 10¢ Freudian psychology here:

Before that he was a “pray away the gay” camp counselor for Exodus International.

And now he’s most interested in enforcing certain ideas of how males & females are & must be!! Over & over, until little Justin (Has anyone named “Justin” ever been anything but a douche?) has also convinced himself, if you know what I mean.

If we could only get every fucking loser who’s managed to damage these United Snakes because of their own internal psychological & mental conflicts to get some help (THAT MEANS YOU, CONGRESS!!!) or just to agree to be institutionalized & pumped full of Thorazine or whatever they use to calm psychotics these days. I mean, I hate to admit it, but Soviet conflation of mental illness & socio-political dissent may have been right, & more so in this (very relatively) freer society.

You see, readers, encouraging humans to believe in magic can have very unpredictable, and sometimes unsavory, effects . . .

Over & over, until little Justin (Has anyone named “Justin” ever been anything but a douche?) has also convinced himself, if you know what I mean.

I think it’s about time we phased that one out, don’t you think? “People who don’t like gays are gay” is a cheap, shopworn liberal cliche at this point, which frankly makes me cringe a little every time I hear it. How lacking in creativity are we, really?

Men of God are wild, not domesticated. Dateable guys aren’t tamed. They don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed.

How can you conquer a land and stand up for the oppressed?  Isn’t the very act of conquering oppression?

So amazing. Girls and women who have previously had sex have been considered used goods, but there he is with the used gum-analogy or is he just a freaking sick puppy toilet diving because he has no standards?

I have a general rule regarding praise bands to wit: if you invite Jesus to play in your band, it might just be because the other guys aren’t so good.  I think he’s concern-trolling teens because he flunked adolescence and is hoping Buddy Jesus will be his bro—because otherwise he hasn’t a shot at faking being an adult.

He might want to consider the bare possibility that human males might fail to be horrible by just not being hateful to women. Listen to women because they say things people might say. Maybe even consider them people. Such a novel idea. But as it is he is totally not getting it.

Mentioned this in a comment at LGM: this twit’s mom was my superintendent the last year of high school. As many issues as she had, I’m not surprised he ended up so twisted.

Listen to women because they say things people might say. Maybe even consider them people. Such a novel idea.

That might be difficult, because Lookadoo’s first piece of advice for girls is “Shut up and be mysterious,” no joke. This is part of his theory that the boy won’t have any reason to go out with you again if you tell him too much, so you’d better keep your yapper shut. It’s a mixed message, though, because he opens the book by stating outright that every relationship between teenagers is going to fail (including the ones where they get married and stay together for years - yeah, dude’s a real trip). So if the relationship is doomed from the word go, why would anyone care how many dates you go on? And for that matter, does he really believe that you can completely deduce the many nuances in another human being’s personality and history in one date? This guy must be a blast to dine with.

I’m starting to wonder if I could find a copy of this in one of those rummage sales they have around here. Amazon is filled with reviews from people who got the book as kids, and all of them end with some variant on “I immediately threw it out,” so…

@Funkula is that the same Mary Lookadoo featured here running for office?  http://on.fb.me/18HrdJy

“People who don’t like gays are gay” is a cheap, shopworn liberal cliche at this point, which frankly makes me cringe a little every time I hear it. How lacking in creativity are we, really?

Oh, incredibly lacking, really. As lacking as Justin’s tiresome crap, absolutely. Why bother to be any more creative than he? (Hey, if this is a creative competition, what the hell am I competing for?)

I’m not attributing closetedness to every hater or every exploiter of hate & haters, you stupid inane fuck, so learn how to read before you dare to go off on me!11!! (Harr-rumph!!) but there is a difference between “not liking gays” & being “a ‘pray away the gay’ camp counselor for Exodus International.” Or are you implying it’s not “always projection”?

And what, then, is your no doubt creative explanation for such an obsession w/ anyone else’s sexual orientation (Or their sex life, period)?

I think I can explain the creepy “gum & toilet” concept.  At Christianist kidz be datin’ seminars, one technique to scare kids into remaining celibate is to pass around a cup and have everyone spit in it, then explain to the kids that when you kiss/make-out/have sex with anyone, you are getting the spit/germs from every other person you partner has ever done the same thing with, so does anyone want a drink of the spit mix?  Seriously, they do this; it’s a gross-out winner and kids remember it.

Given this guy’s hatred of women and sex in general, I think he just went full metal crazy and replaced the spit-filled cup with the toilet bowl.  I have no doubt that in his sick little mind, it’s exactly the same.

@SoS   It’s no wonder some kids are so fked up.  People that do this shit to kids are no better than any other kind of child abuser and ought to be handled as such.

So true Bette, so true.  That little “spit cup” act is a standard part of ANY Xtianist chastity training program, and they try to get it into the schools as much as they possibly can.

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