It’s The Ground Zero Mosque! It’s The Ground Zero Mosque!  A Stroll Around My Neighborhood, Part I

Aiieee! What’s that at Ground Zero? A MINARET? ALREADY??
the mosque at ground zero! and it's creamy and delicious!
No, no, the Mooslins haven’t moved in yet.  But now that the Tundra Torquemadam has got her polar panties in a knot over the groundless rumor of the Ground! Zero! Mosque! I thought it time to actually show the hopelessly daft Grand Inquisitrix some irrefudiable features of my ‘hood, which she and her followers are honoring by trying to turn a generous swath of lower Manhattan into Joseph McCarthy’s Tribute Morgue.
ground zero mourners pay their respects
Here we are, starting directly across from Ground Zero, praying without ceasing, as it is said that each time somebody licks all the way around a bonnet cone, an angel gets a brain-freeze.

Now let’s walk up Church Street a block or so from Ground Zero. Our eyes mist over, barely enabling us to take in the fine Small Businesses that dot the sanctified district, such as the DVD purveyor:
sacred smut in sight of ground zero
and his devotional goods:
sacred smut!
Here we pause once again to reflect on the sanctity of this world of… 
suits
sacred world of suits!
shoes
sacred shiny shoes!
shorts
sacred shorts!
and other solemnities imponderable:
sacred lids!
But are we nearly there yet? Gingerly treading the revered pavement another half block, raising our eyes from our constant vigilance against attack from gumspots, which number the sidewalk like patriot’s tears, we tremblingly behold the street where IT will be forced down the throats of good Americans, and good American businesses, like the hitherto unsullied Off-Track Betting Corporation.
sacred OTB! 2 blocks from ground zero
Where is IT? Where is the offensive symbol of religious freedom going to rear its ugly edifice at the very edge of America’s wounded psyche? It is not on any of the corners of this holy intersection a mere city block from the previous intersection, which is just another mere city block from the northern border of Ground Zero which is down there within walking distance, right down there!
northern edge of ground zero from sw corner of mooslin st
But stay! What do we see as we look west down this side street? In the middle of the block, past the historic “Yankees Slug You Chug” sign as always testifying to the immeasurable dignity of the venerable Dakota Roadhouse?
sacred slug you chug! right next to mooslins!
  Here Ends Part One.
              ~~~~To Be Continued~~~~                                             
In Part Two: It’s Victory Mosquetastic!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 08/16/10 at 10:09 AM • Permalink

Categories: ImagesNew York CityManhattanNewsPoliticsBedwettersNuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryRelijunSkull Hampers

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Thank you, Mrs. P, for reminding us that, so far, the terrorists haven’t prevailed. They’ll get their way if cowardly, unprincipled fear-mongers like Sarah Palin manage to effect an Islam-free zone around the WTC site.

But so far, at least, timeless American values such as ice cream, beer chugging, naughty videos and cheap apparel still prevail. Suck on that, Osama!

Goodness, Polly. It’s a veritable Arlington-on-the-Hudson down there!

Surrounded by such sanctitude, I’m sure that the cabbies proposition the hookers in reverent whispers, while the DVD store cashier plain-wraps copies of Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS with the quiet intensity of a monk at Vespers.

Yes, the decision to have river-to-river crypts, ossuaries (that’s either a crypt or a type of extinct, flightless bird, I forget which) and mausoleums was a difficult one to make, but we decided to split the difference and give them a sort of “deadly sins” theme.

Bloody hell woman, this is brilliant.

HTP, it truly is. Brava, Polly!

If Ground Zero is sacred to Americans, why have we filled it with dive bars, remnant stores and jack-off palaces?

We don’t even honor our own dead, for Chrissake.

Although as a whole, NYC polls as being against the Cordoba Center (I am not going to call it a mosque until my brilliant plan of referring to every Y as a “Victory Cathedral” is put into effect), Manhattanites are FOR building it. The further away you get from the people who were actually affected, the more the fear increases.

Aiieee! What’s that at Ground Zero? A MINARET? ALREADY??

Love. It.

Marin, I have to h/t (turban-tip?) Strange, whose hometown’s Muslims utilized the swirly goodness of a frozen custard sign to turn into a turban when they turned the frozen custard stand into a mosque, truly demonstrating what “creative class” is all about.

Polly, that’s a near-exact replica of the frozen-custard cut-out sign we had at the converted mosque back home.

They kept the ice cream part, but painted Muhammed’s face over the cone. I always wish to fuck I’d taken a picture.

And one block further north, at 59 Murray Street...
~

Holy shit!  They’re building a community centre just two blocks away from the Patriot Saloon!

Oh, Mrs P

I’m not worthy.

*applauds*

How dare they locate the House of Sluts so close to America’s Temple?  What?  House of Suits? Oh.  Nevermind then.

New favorite.  Can’t wait for Part II.

There are on closer inspection at least 2 other nudie bars & 3 gay bars within the sacred arc of ground zero(tm).  But they hate us for our freedom and I am sure this YMAA(Young mens Allah Assoc.) is just the tip of the spear that will force sharia law down the throats of all the fine young Christian men & women working those establishments!

You are like a real world Julius Knipl or someone.

I’m in awe of such a sacred area, and am sorry I missed it on my last trip to NYC!  Will be interested to see how the rightwingers/teabaggers react when they find out some Muslims will be working in whatever office buildings are erected directly on Ground Zero.

Opposition to the Cultural Center seems to rise as a square of the distance from the actual site.

I suspect most of America’s Indignant Wingers have the same mental image of Ground Zero that they have of Heaven: Kind of a shiny linoleum-floored Sears Appliance Center, covered in pink cotton-candy, with row upon row of glistening Monster Trucks in the parking lot.

Nice. Gettysburg it aint’.

Judging from the second picture, they hate us ‘cause we’re fat.

Are you sure they don’t hate us for our cheesy sandals? Please let it be the sandals.

I don’t want to die just because I’m big-boned.

2 chugs as the Yankees slug: $9:00
Bonus pack of adults only video: $8.99
One outlet suit: $49.99
Exposing the Tundra Torquemadam and her mindless minions: PRICELESS!

Kudos Mrs. Polly

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

When did Harry Reid and Howard Dean become right wing teabaggers?

When did Harry Reid and Howard Dean become right wing teabaggers?

Well, it wasn’t that much of a stretch for Reid but I’m still scratching my head over Dean.

Bloomberg is really the only guy who’s figured out how to sound the correct and consistent note on this, isn’t he?

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