It’s The Ground Zero Mosque! It’s The Ground Zero Mosque! A Stroll Around My Neighborhood, Part I
Aiieee! What’s that at Ground Zero? A MINARET? ALREADY??
No, no, the Mooslins haven’t moved in yet. But now that the Tundra Torquemadam has got her polar panties in a knot over the groundless rumor of the Ground! Zero! Mosque! I thought it time to actually show the hopelessly daft Grand Inquisitrix some irrefudiable features of my ‘hood, which she and her followers are honoring by trying to turn a generous swath of lower Manhattan into Joseph McCarthy’s Tribute Morgue.
Here we are, starting directly across from Ground Zero, praying without ceasing, as it is said that each time somebody licks all the way around a bonnet cone, an angel gets a brain-freeze.
Now let’s walk up Church Street a block or so from Ground Zero. Our eyes mist over, barely enabling us to take in the fine Small Businesses that dot the sanctified district, such as the DVD purveyor:
and his devotional goods:
Here we pause once again to reflect on the sanctity of this world of…
and other solemnities imponderable:
But are we nearly there yet? Gingerly treading the revered pavement another half block, raising our eyes from our constant vigilance against attack from gumspots, which number the sidewalk like patriot’s tears, we tremblingly behold the street where IT will be forced down the throats of good Americans, and good American businesses, like the hitherto unsullied Off-Track Betting Corporation.
Where is IT? Where is the offensive symbol of religious freedom going to rear its ugly edifice at the very edge of America’s wounded psyche? It is not on any of the corners of this holy intersection a mere city block from the previous intersection, which is just another mere city block from the northern border of Ground Zero which is down there within walking distance, right down there!
But stay! What do we see as we look west down this side street? In the middle of the block, past the historic “Yankees Slug You Chug” sign as always testifying to the immeasurable dignity of the venerable Dakota Roadhouse?
Here Ends Part One.
~~~~To Be Continued~~~~
In Part Two: It’s Victory Mosquetastic!