Mein Voight-Kampff

In the vast underground facilities of Rossum’s Universal Republicans, candidate unit Moneyed Imbecile Three Thousand is having its responses tested

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How do you feel about being hooked up to these diagnostic devices?

I wish you’d let me attach the electrodes myself. I like being able to wire people.

You’re in a desert walking along when you look down, and you see a tortoise, she’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on her back. The tortoise lays there, her belly baking in the hot sun, beating her legs trying to turn herself over, but you’re not helping the poor thing. Why is that, MITT?

I’m not concerned about poor things.

But she’s helpless, lying there upside-down.

Her position is not terribly relevant to my campaign.

You are given a calfskin wallet for your birthday…

Ooh, I can use that for my wager fund.

You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

I’m not going to sit here and listen to these ethnic slurs.

You’re watching a stage play. A banquet is in progress. The entree consists of boiled dog.

Oh for gosh sakes, so we drove through Tucson on a family outing. Seamus was fine.

Do you watch NASCAR?

Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.

RUR technician’s note: OOT (Out Of Touch) glitch not yet resolved, further calibration needed. IOW more Philip K., less Dick

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/27/12 at 08:05 AM • Permalink

Categories: Geek SpeakPoliticsElection '12Mittens

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(applause)

The title alone is gold. Well done!

I’m not going to sit here and listen to these ethnic slurs.

*dies of laughter (again)*

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