Mel Gibson headlines Women’s Equality Day celebration

SENECA FALLS, NEW YORK – AUGUST 26, 2010: Citing inspiration from Glenn Beck’s upcoming rally to take back the civil rights movement for white people, actor Mel Gibson marked the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment yesterday in the bucolic town where the women’s suffrage movement began.

Joined onstage by singer Chris Brown and auto body repairman Joey Buttafuoco, Gibson praised the passage of the legislation that “gave bitches the right to vote.” His later remarks seemed to suggest Gibson was confused about women’s enfranchisement, since he cited their votes in People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” contest rather than participation in official elections.

The crowd, largely clad in American flag-themed clothing and resting in frayed lawn chairs, waved signs depicting President Obama in a variety of costumes, including a witch doctor, a Nazi and a Red Army general.

Gibson, when asked about his feminist credentials, directed a reporter to a woman he called “Sister Inviolatta,” who was actually NRO editor Kathryn Jean Lopez. Ms. Lopez said Gibson’s depiction of the “Mother of our Lord” in torture-porn film The Passion of the Christ qualified Gibson to lead the women’s rights movement.

Lopez impatiently dismissed queries about Gibson’s domestic violence issues, insisting that his portrayal of the Virgin Mary in the film did more for feminism than “Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Pocohantas, Lucretia Mott, Lucy Stone, Sacagawea, Susan B. Anthony and Princess Diana all rolled into one with sprinkles on top.”

The event ended on a sour note, however, when a planned address by OJ Simpson could not be conducted due to technical difficulties with the jail conference center video link-up.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/27/10 at 06:17 AM • Permalink

Categories: Movies • Politics • Nutters • Teabaggery • Our Stupid Media •

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Seeing how early in the day you posted this, Ms. Betty, I’m wondering if this inspired snark started out as a dream (or a nightmare)?

Comment by Stephen1947 on 08/27/10 at 07:02 AM

FABULOUS reporting, Betty! I understand that the lawn-chair set almost struggled to their feet for a semi-upright O when Gibson introduced John McCain, whose quip, “Some say we don’t care about women’s (airquotes)“health,” but when it comes to you c***ts’ well being, we’re willing to slather it on like a trollop!” was only topped by his opener, “Say, did you hear the one about Chelsea Clinton?”

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 08/27/10 at 07:07 AM

Where’s the Sarah Palin quote? (Or maybe it was insuffrageable.)

Comment by J. on 08/27/10 at 07:09 AM

And I do hope there was a seance where they summoned the spirit of Ike Turner, who could explain that, while he did indeed beat Tina, he didn’t hit her “any more than the average guy hits his woman.” (Possibly apocryphal, but a friend swears he heard Ike say that on a radio call-in program in St. Louis right after I, Tina hit the bookstores.)

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/10 at 10:09 AM

I recall reading Ike say he only hit Tina when “she’d get all balled up inside and she needed it”. He was just trying to help, you see.

Comment by StringonaStick on 08/27/10 at 11:01 AM

Thoughtful man, that Ike!

Comment by Oblomova on 08/27/10 at 11:35 AM

Ike didn’t hit her “any more than the average guy hits his woman.” He hit her slightly less. See, he was a feminist. Its time for men to ‘take back’ the womens’ rights movement.

Comment by SideShow Bob on 08/27/10 at 01:07 PM

An A+ for the Joey Buttafuoco ref. And a quick glance at the Wikipedia shows the following:

Amy Elizabeth Fisher (born August 21, 1974) is an American woman who became known as the “Long Island Lolita” by the media in 1992, when, at the age of 17, she shot and severely wounded Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her lover Joey Buttafuoco.[1] She was initially charged with first-degree attempted murder, but eventually pleaded guilty to first-degree aggravated assault and served seven years in prison. After her parole in 1999, Fisher became a journalist and writer, before embarking on a career as a porn star in 2007.

Misty watercolored memories . . .