Michelle Obama is driving that dumb bastard Andrew Malcolm insane

I’m only posting this video because it’ll make folks I loathe batshit crazy

Steaming pile of stupid Andrew Malcolm, the absolute worst professional poliblogger in the world, is being driven insane by Michelle Obama’s “healthy stuff.” He wrote the following while he was soaking in a hot tub filled with lard and high fructose corn syrup :

First, the buff first arms. Then the First Lady’s White House playground. Then the First Lady’s White House victory garden. Then the First Lady’s patronage of farmer’s markets for things that grow in the filthy ground or hang on trees where birds perch and do things. [...]

Now, today First Lady Michelle Obama had a Healthy Kids Fair on the sunny White House South Lawn. Will this healthy stuff ever stop with these people?

Yep, I long for the good ol’ days when Malcolm’s former boss Laura Bush hosted those “Let’s All Get Cancer!” and “Kidz ‘n’ Veal Penz” events.  That’s back when Americans could be proud to be Americans.

UPDATE: Please consider helping out Maha if you enjoyed this post.

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/22/09 at 09:02 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersPoliblogsSkull Hampers

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Well, it looks like Malcolm gets the commenters he deserves. Here’s my fave:

I personally think M>O> looked very unhealthy or pregant of course I don’t think she’s got what it takes to be permoteing health care she needs to leave that to the professionals ,just because shes in the white house it doesn’t make her a Dr. Just because her husband is the pres. don’t make him a king although some call him that,there’s only one King and that’s Jesus. Just like in the Bible they cried for a King and God gave them a King but after they got him they were sorry?? Think about it!

Posted by: barbara | October 21, 2009 at 08:37 PM

“....Posted by: barbara | October 21, 2009 at 08:37 PM…

Well we know this child got left behind.

Betty, yeah, I saw that one.  That’s one for the ages.

“These people”?  Seriously?

It’s encouraging to see just how desperate the blogosphere is.  Obviously they’re having a tough time finding anything legitimate to critique the Obamas on, otherwise they wouldn’t resort to driveling over this.

“These people”?  Seriously?

Silly commie atheist.  Don’t you know that racism ended on 11/4/08? You’re not allowed to play the race card anymore.  Stop it!

I think that if those wingnut bloggers really want to teach Michelle “Health Czar” Obama a lesson, they should hole themselves up in their basement and consume Mountain Dew and Cheetos until they are so obese they can’t fit through the basement doorway to relieve themselves.

Ooops… too late.

Posted by: barbara | October 21, 2009 at 08:37 PM

This person might just be a commenter over at Atrios’ joint who posts under the moniker Merkin Patriot.

S/he’s not yours, Andrew Malcolm!  Return this artiste to Eschaton IMMEDIATELY!!

Well, I may cavil at some of Obama’s political strategies but I have to cop to adoring Michelle an the kids, and really respecting everything they’ve done as a first family to be, well…first.  I’m incredibly moved and proud that they are representing us to the world and I don’t care who hears me say it! Dammit!

aimai

Maybe Andrew Malcolm is a steaming pile of stupid, but I think he had his tongue slightly in cheek on this. And he closes with this:

Today’s Kids Fair is actually a rather charming event. (See news video below.) So put your Whopper down for a sec and scan what the First Mother had to say.

“These people”?  Seriously?

Hey, it used to be “those people.” Things are getting better.

It appears the subject is attempting humor in the form of sarcasm. His commenters appear to be an even mix of jackasses and spoofs.

Then the First Lady’s patronage of farmer’s markets for things that grow in the filthy ground or hang on trees where birds perch and do things.

Yeah!  Instead of nice clean factory-farmed meat!

Comment by Steve M. on 10/22/09 at 11:03 AM

Maybe Andrew Malcolm is a steaming pile of stupid, but I think he had his tongue slightly in cheek on this.

Not so sure about that.  There’s far too much sneering going on for it to be written off as sarcastic.  Here’s more that I didn’t blockquote:

Never mind sitting on your enlarged keister reading books, this first lady seems determined to drive Americans, including her burger-loving, cigarette-smoking husband, to at least feel guilty about all those fries and other gunk they swallow into their bodies.

As she often does in her public remarks (think Copenhagen), the president’s wife falls back on her own life for story material. We learn today that in her childhood they got pizza once each year or semester, one or the other—and then only if the children had received good grades.

We also learn Mrs. Obama loves french fries. Very much. Extremely much. But that she knows she can’t eat them every day. She doesn’t explain why not. Apparently, she thinks it’s bad somehow.

He added “charming” to save his ass at the end, but he clearly didn’t find much of it charming.

I’m actually more concerned about “where birds perch and do things…”  What do birds do?

I have it on good authority that they poop.

Never mind sitting on your enlarged keister reading books

Enlarged keister?  Reading books?  Is this a slam at Laura Bush?  She once claimed her hobbies were reading and smoking and she did have that nice comfortable middle-aged-spread butt.

I like Michelle, I think she’s a great first lady, I know she wants to find a role for herself and make a positive difference but sometimes I think she tries too hard.  I’ve made fun of Laura’s Joker makeup and boxy mud-colored pantsuits but there was something appealing about her to-hell-with-it attitude.  They’d try to make her care about something once in a while, like heart disease or gangs or literacy, but you could tell she didn’t give a damn.

There was something appealing about her to-hell-with-it attitude.  They’d try to make her care about something once in a while, like heart disease or gangs or literacy, but you could tell she didn’t give a damn.

Heh. I have a similar view of her.

Andrew Malcolm is definitely stupid—in addition to the bogus Edwards analysis, he was the leader of the whole “OMG! Poor people have cell phones! They are frittering away the tax dollars I gave them!” meme when M.O. was there working in a soup kitchen and a pro photog got a shot that included a patron of the soup kitchen snapping a cell phone pic.

But I have to agree with Show Me Sanity here - I think this is humor impairment on the part of the rader/blogger (fostered in part by Malcolm’s previous idiocy, to be sure.)

They’d try to make her care about something once in a while, like heart disease or gangs or literacy, but you could tell she didn’t give a damn.

Stepford Wife was pretty much the way I always thought of her.  Although, now that I have a working relationship with Percocet* I’m wondering if that didn’t figure in some too.

*Broken ankle for anyone not a regular reader ;-)

And, for the record, I heart Michelle and think she’s doing a great job.

I won’t know what to think until Riverchucky shows up and talks about how Michelle is actually a fashion-impaired fat-ass.

Maybe Andrew Malcolm is a steaming pile of stupid, but I think he had his tongue slightly in cheek on this.

Even if we assume that, it’s still a POS attempt at humor, and assumes that Malcolm has a sense of humor to begin with.

OMG! Poor people have cell phones!

I knew the name sounded familiar. Case closed on the satire possibilty, then; Malcolm’s a toxic son of a bitch. The cell phone post went national but it’s far from the worst thing he’s written. He put out a piece earlier this year that was so horrid I registered to leave a comment.

Can’t remember what it was about, but whatever it was, I registered to leave a comment. I don’t even do CAPTCHAs if they’re too rococo.

Yep, Malcolm’s the one who pushed the bullshit cellphone story. He also was the one who mocked Michelle for wearing $500 sneakers at a benefit for the poor (see a theme here?).

And I forgot this line from his sneakers post:

And, of course, if you’ve got $540, plus—what?—9 or 10% tax in some places. Which seems like a lot for two shoes not guaranteed to benefit your jump shot.

Because, since Michelle is black, she’s gotta be interested in benefiting her jump shot. Right?

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