Mirandize this

Everyone knows squishy, effete, elitist Kenyan lawyer Barack Obama is just longing to coddle America’s enemies! Unlike Dick Cheney, who once shot an old lawyer in the face (it was just Dick’s manner of saying, “Outta my way, motherfucker!”), Obama wants to serve terrorists glasses of warm, halal milk, read them Koranic bedtime stories and tuck them into comfy featherbeds with extra-soft pillows.

But damn it all, whenever secret Muslim Obama tries to deliver engraved invitations to Islamic terrorists to please come dine on pork-free goodies on the East Lawn, he keeps accidentally blowing the sumbitches up with Hellfire missiles! It’s all a horrible, horrible misunderstanding.

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz is keeping America safe with her Keep America Safe website, which exposes the folly of terrorist-coddling measures like closing Gitmo and trying terrorists in civilian courts:

Ms. Cheney doesn’t explicitly state that the former detainees who are replacing al Qaeda figures Obama killed in tragic missile accidents were released by the Bush administration. But the fact that this is so just proves her point even more: If a tough-as-nails Republican administration like Bush-Cheney can inadvertently release unrepentant terrorists to Saudi art therapy programs, just think of the damage a terrorist-coddling administration could cause should one of the objects of its nurturing instinct survive!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/08/10 at 06:53 AM • Permalink

Categories: News • Politics • Barack Obama • BushCo • Bedwetters • Nutters • War In Error • Our Stupid Media •

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Hellfire missiles be breakin’ ALL the rules—just like Steven Seagal in any movie with an indecisive, weak President (say, Ronnie Cox or Ned Beatty).

Hellfire missiles don’t need a launch code from the CinC. They can’t wait for cowardly politicians and waffling appeasers to make up their minds. They take their orders straight from THOMAS JEFFERSON and WE THE PEOPLE!

That being said, although it looks like Adam Gadahn (a.k.a, Adam Pearlman, the World’s Only Jihadi Jew) may have once again eluded us, perhaps Liz Cheney can persuade our 98-Pound President to man-up and order our brave Hellfire missiles to rain destruction on the Terrorist Training Camps of Orange County that spawned him.