Mitt Blown to Smithereens by “Secret Weapon”

A few months ago, Mitt Romney supporters claimed that Ann Romney would be Mitt’s secret weapon.  I had fun with the concept in a blog post written in the early days, when the wheels were just starting to come off the Ann Romney express.  The recent conventional wisdom is that Ann has failed to deliver the goods, but her most recent gaffe just might spell curtains for Mitt’s campaign.  Here’s Mitt’s secret weapon, detonating on Mitt’s ass as if it were Bikini Atoll:


While that tiny clip is out of context, the full video doesn’t provide any exculpatory evidence.  Mitt has been on the ropes ever since his lack-luster Republican National Convention appearance… I can’t imagine that he could have expected that the knockout punch would have come from his wife.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 09/28/12 at 09:08 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12MittensVulture/Voucher 2012Skull Hampers

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This could actually be a blessing for Mitt.  He needs jokes, right? (according to Roger Simon, anyway).  Well, there you go:

I take my wife everywhere, but she always finds her way back.
Boy, is my wife stupid.  It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
Boy, is my wife stupid.  She put lipstick on her forehead to help her make up her mind.
Boy, is my wife stupid.  She asked me the number for 911.

And his number-one knee-slapper:

Are you tired of her yet?

Are you tired of her yet?

I’d bet $10,000 that Mitt’s campaign staff is!

... the full video doesn’t provide any exculpatory evidence.

Well, no. No, it doesn’t. The relevant section of the full clip starts around 6:00, when she quickly proves herself as facile a liar as her old man—”... we have seen no jobs, it’s been a jobless recovery”—then launches into this. The interviewer’s question during the taping isn’t included in the clip, but the anchor reports it as “I wanted to know if this was what she wanted for her life—all the cameras and public appearances. She said no. I also asked her what her biggest worry is if her husband does in fact become president”:

I think my greatest concern, obviously, would just be for the ... his mental wellbeing. I have all the confidence in the world in his ability, in his decisiveness, in his leadership skills, in his understanding of the economy, in his understanding of what’s missing right now in the economy ... you know, pieces that are missing to get this jump-started, so for me I think it would just be the emotional part of it.

I think my greatest concern, obviously, would just be for the ... his mental wellbeing. I have all the confidence in the world in his ability, in his decisiveness, in his leadership skills, in his understanding of the economy, in his understanding of what’s missing right now in the economy ... you know, pieces that are missing to get this jump-started, so for me I think it would just be the emotional part of it.

Hahahahaha.  Mittsie is sooo unstable.  His mental wellbeing could be sooo seriously challenged by a big tough job like being Preznut.

I mean, WTF, why do they let her anywhere near reporters??  The lies about this being a “jobless” recovery are only to be expected from any Rethug surrogate.  But casting doubt on RMoney’s mental health?  Fucking priceless.

Sometimes Ann wakes up in the middle of the night and finds Mitt sitting alone, weeping.

He weeps for the children he never had by the wives he was never allowed to have.

He weeps for himself, because he’ll never be President, and he’ll never be a billionaire.

Perhaps we should feel sympathy for this man, who was born with many gifts that most people don’t have, but also born into expectations of achievement that must be a tremendous burden.

Then again, fuck him.  He’s a dick.

he’ll never be a billionaire.

I just realized that among the filthy rich like his campaign donors and the Bush family, Romney’s wealth is pocket change. He’s like a hanger on in those circles.

Mitt would have to actually HAVE the capability to feel emotion and empathy before he could be troubled by it as President. If he can’t comprehend that there are people in this country who barely get by on $35,000 or less a year and he dismisses the need for food, shelter, and basic health care, then what would it take to move him into a state of concern?

Sorry, Ann. We don’t believe that either you or your husband. You’re both as phony as Mitt’s tax returns.

Our revolting Daily Mail has this to add:

‘We call the rope line now the advice line because everyone cares and everyone wants to help and everyone wants to just give their piece, a little piece of advice.

‘So I feel like my best advice is just to bring peace and calm to him and just trust in him and just say, “I know you can do it”, but not to give him any advice because it gets too overwhelming.”

The would-be First Lady said that her husband would be looking to her in the audience during the three presidential debates in October.

‘In all the past debates, he would find me in the audience and after each question, he’d look at me ’cause it was like, “Did I do O.K. Ann? Was that O.K.?” And I love that because he cares so much.

‘I mean, we have such a good relationship and we have such a strong marriage and I know that he measures himself and how he’s doing by my face and how I think he’s doing, so I know in these next debates it’s going to be very important for me to be sitting in that audience.’

He truly is the Manchurian Candidate.

While that tiny clip is out of context, the full video

Well, they built their whole entire convention theme and decorations and everything else on one out of context phrase and claimed repeatedly that doing that was fair and honest and reasonable, so poop on her.*

She just said right in front of a teevee machine camera that if we elect Mitt, he will go stark, staring, raving, barking mad and do God knows what with the nuclear codes. That’s exactly what she said. I saw it in that 10 second clip.

*To be fair, they had nothing else.

‘I mean, we have such a good relationship and we have such a strong marriage

Who actually has a strong marriage that feels it necessary to tell everyone that they have such a strong marriage? Whistling past the graveyard much?

“I do have a strong marriage, I do. Really.”

“I am happy. I am. Really. Happy, happy, happy.”

Just wait now for the LEAVE ANN ALOOOOOONE!!!!! outpourings from the borg.

Meanwhile ...

so I know in these next debates it’s going to be very important for me to be sitting in that audience.’

Yeah, that’s what rill Merkins want in their father-figure/Preznit: a guy whose wife fears for his mental wellbeing and who needs her constant presence and approval while he squares off against the foe.

Next week, Ann: “And, what people don’t know, of course, is that he’s a wonderful lover.  I probably shouldn’t talk about this but it happens to be true.”

Mr. W, it does make me wonder.

What if Mitt boobs, and Ann starts making throat-slitting gestures?

Or what if she has a coincidental sudden spasm of pain?

Or what if half the audience turn up in Ann Romney masks and start shaking their heads in unison?

Mittsie is sooo unstable.

SYSTEM FAILURE 101011100110101100101

If Ann is trying to humanize Mitt, she’s failing miserable- so far, she’s painted an image of someone with human frailties, but without human virtues.  I now picture Mitt as a robot made out of Waterford crystal.

Another part of me wonders if their marriage isn’t as rosy as she depicts, and this is her passive-aggressive way to kneecap him.  The phrase “little moment of revenge” comes to mind.  Given Mitt’s “sick of Ann” comment, I wonder if they are, as Matt Groening would put it, “jolly jugular jabbers”.

I just realized that among the filthy rich like his campaign donors and the Bush family, Romney’s wealth is pocket change. He’s like a hanger on in those circles.

I’ve commented on that before- compared to Sheldon Adelson or the Koch brothers, Mitt is “the help”.  I can’t imagine him getting too many $30 million dollar job offers if he blows up the GOP.

Or what if half the audience turn up in Ann Romney masks and start shaking their heads in unison?

I see the first episode of Sorkin’s “The Newsroom” has made it across the pond.

I see the first episode of Sorkin’s “The Newsroom” has made it across the pond.

Er, not here yet. But it’ll have to go some to top what’s passing for reality right now.

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