Mittens: Iran election fiasco is, like, totally Obama’s fault

Speaking of loud-mouthed buttinskis who want to barge into other countries’ election disputes, heeeerrreee’s Mittens!

Romney:

“The comments by the president last week, that there was a robust debate going on in Iran, was [sic] obviously entirely wrong-headed. What has occurred is the election is a fraud, the results are inaccurate, and you’re seeing a brutal repression of the people as they protest. ...It’s very clear that the president’s policies of going around the world and apologizing for America aren’t working. ... Look, just sweet talk and criticizing America is [sic] not going to enhance freedom in the world.”

Whereas issuing arrogant “with us or agin’ us” decrees, stomping around the globe bombing the shit out of people who had nothing to do with 9/11 and incarcerating and torturing possible enemies without due process enhanced the holy fucking shit out of freedom.

Would someone please inform this smarmy prick that there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to be president? Not with a gigantic swath of the GOP base hating his guts for belonging to a demonic offshoot of Christianity and / or making semi-civilized noises about gays and abortion when required to do so to bag the governorship of Massachusetts. Can Mittens please for the love of god stop pouring the inheritance of poor Tagg, Bbase, Foullball, Umpp and Batt down the rat hole of his insatiable ambition?

People make fun of Hillary Clinton for raiding her money market fund to drop a few mil on her campaign, but Mittens shoveled gazillions into his bid and couldn’t even give a shitty candidate like McCain a real scare. And he’s gearing up to do it again—you can see the ambition shining forth from his beady eyes and imbuing his hair gel with the trillion-candle-power glow of It’s My Turn.

Really, an intervention by the Sons of Romney may be called for: “Dad, we know you want to be president. You should be president. But Dad, it’s just not going to work out. There are five of us, and we already have 15 children between us, and we’re not even all married yet. So please, stop forking over tens of millions of dollars to chase this dream. Or little Duggoutt is going to end up in a homeless shelter. The end. Thank you.”

Romney has demonstrated that he knows fuck-all about Iran. He doesn’t have a single principle he wouldn’t jettison in pursuit of power. He’s as constant as a weather vane and as principled as a vulture at a baby seal clubbing party. I look forward to his continued critiques of the Obama administration.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/15/09 at 08:41 PM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Election '08 • St. McSame • Barack Obama • War In Error • Mittens •

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O look! The dance of the sugar plum failures continues.

The sudden outpouring of deep compassion the fRighties are spurting forth for Iran, a country widely believed to be populated by Muslims, is truly a mind boggler. Really, after spending years and years claiming Iran is EBIL and full of scary Muslims, who the hell are they talking to?

Edit: [snuck in the back way and fixed teh heinous error]

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 06/15/09 at 09:36 PM

Could Mitt be talked into covertly crossing into Iran to get the skinny on the situation over there? I think it would be a brave and selfless act. We’ll give him a cell phone, knife, canteen, Muslim/English dictionary and 5000 rupes in case he needs to bribe a goat herder to get information. He’ll be fine. What could go wrong?

Comment by rickD on 06/15/09 at 09:57 PM

“The comments by the president last week, that there was a robust debate going on in Iran, was [sic] obviously entirely wrong-headed.”

It looks pretty damn robust to me.

Comment by YAFB on 06/15/09 at 10:07 PM

Muslim/English dictionary and 5000 rupes in case he needs to bribe a goat herder to get information.

These would be a nice touch since Iranians speak Farsi (for the most part) not Muslim and the rupee is the currency of another Asian country that begins with I.