Morning Constitutional

Start your day off with a brisk bout of GAH, courtesy of My First Newspaper:

Faith also reminded Patriots such as Henry that the American people needed virtue to channel their freedom into moral purposes.

Fun fact: USA Today doesn’t have an editorial board, their op-eds are written with the use of Super Cloying Mad Libs Volume 2. “Freedom also reminded virtuosos such as Henry that the American people needed patriotism to channel their morals into faithful purposes,” “Patriotism also reminded moralists such as Henry that the American people needed faith to channel their freedom into virtual purposes,” etc.

Anyway, get the hell up and enjoy the Indian summer before God takes it back like some kind of giving-a-gift-and-then-taking-it-back type person.

George Michael and to a lesser degree Fred Durst speak for me

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/07/12 at 10:47 AM • Permalink

Categories: Messylaneous • Politics • Editorials • Our Stupid Media • Relijun •

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The unseasonably warm weather already got taken back here in Salt Lake City, and I have to admit that a couple inches of snow were actually welcome.

re: herself there I’ve heard that if she were the size of a mustard seed she could move mountains. Imagine what she can do with the full five-by-five (5’5”)!

Comment by Xecky Gilchrist on 01/07/12 at 10:55 AM

Faith still plays second, and maybe third, fiddle to Charity, though. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Comment by Davis X. Machina on 01/07/12 at 03:48 PM

Not only that, Proof denies her.

Comment by Xecky Gilchrist on 01/07/12 at 06:15 PM

Oh so it was you lot that stole my summer!

Comment by Rebecca on 01/07/12 at 07:46 PM

Faith is all about the virtuous channeling of freedom:

I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone…I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I’ve got muscles you’ve never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you’d beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don’t? Because it’s wrong.

See? Faith ‘splains it.