Multi-Million Dollar Promotion of Palin’s “Undefeated” Seems to Be a Free Press Release

We were promised a “multi-million dollar” marketing rollout of Steve Bannon’s The Undefeated, a film which so far has only earned $116,381 in theatrical release.

Has anyone seen heavy-rotation promo spots on cable? What about shelf-headers or free-standing kiosks at Walmart? Billboards? Happy Meals?

So far, all I can find is this. And once you strip away all the obligatory PR fluff, it sounds like Sarah’s movie is getting the same treatment as Beastmaster 12 and Star Trek: The Musical:

After methodically analyzing the most effective ways to bring this galvanizing film to the widest audience as soon as possible we have determined that Video-on-Demand, Pay-Per-View and DVD sales will be the best modalities by which to deliver this film as widely and as quickly as possible.

Yeah, well, since it sucked air in theaters, I guess that’s all you got left, ain’t it? Duh.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/08/11 at 12:25 AM • Permalink

Categories: MoviesMovie NewsPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

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I was browsing VOD recently & came across it. Lemme just check the price again.

“$6.99 for 24 hrs. 80 min.

Showing no mercy to Democrats or Republicans, this documentary details Sarah Palin’s rise from obscurity to national prominence. Unseen footage & exclusive interviews reveal the untold story of her dynamic career. Same day as DVD. HD version.”

$116,381? Man, that makes “Atlas Shrugged” look like an “Avatar”-level blockbuster. Pathetic.

Video-on-Demand, Pay-Per-View and DVD sales will be the best modalities by which to deliver this film as widely and as quickly as possible.

When you start talking about “modalities,” you’re pretty much screwed right there.

I hope hope HOPE that Palin’s fans will confuse this with British gonzo documentary maker Nick Broomfield’s soon-to-be-released Sarah Palin—You Betcha, which looks like it will actually fill some seats in cinemas that aren’t out in the boonies (teaser here, alternative trailer here).

If you’re not familiar with Broomfield’s other documentaries, I’ll just say that even if Palin’s star has completely faded by the time of its release, he’s always entertaining, and often very revealing.

The Undefeated

Say what?
Seems like an odd choice of movie moniker for what I am sure is Ed Wood level of (cough) cinematic excellence (cough)

I guess quittering her governorship half way through is like the general in Korea that was retreating, was asked what he was doing, and his reply was “We ain’t retreating, we’re just attacking from a different direction”

Nobody asked me, but if they had, I would have suggested the title be “The Bullshit This Way Cometh” Or, “The Wassila Hillbilly Does America”, something along those lines.

The best way to salvage this turkey is to re-release it as a musical comedy.

When you start talking about “modalities,” you’re pretty much screwed right there.

That truly is some high-falutin’ ad-man worm-speak.

That, and “methodically analyzing.”

If I didn’t know better I’d say Mindless Self Indulgence created Straight to Video for this moment in cinematic history.

Hell, I’d think the band had chosen its name with Palin in mind.

“methodically analyzing”

Yeah. Needed a bit more synergize, though.

It is coming to PPV.  For the first time, I saw the trailer when DirecTV was showing their new PPV releases.  OMG, just the trailer alone about made me puke.  No, I didn’t watch the trailers when they were all over the internet because I can’t stand the sound of her voice.  This promo hit by surprise and I couldn’t mute it fast enough.  You’d think this would pop her bubble, but not Mama Grizzly.

The best way to salvage this turkey is to re-release it as a musical comedy.

I could see this working as a double feature with oingo boingo’s Forbidden Zone. But people will probably need lines to say and rice to throw. And someone dressed up like Tim Curry.

Or you could do midnight showings in major markets, turn it into a next-gen Rocky Horror.

Think about it - you could throw condoms at the screen whenever Bristol pops up.

They could always package them four in a box and sell them as the “Common Sense Coaster” Set.

Tie a string to them and sell them as pigeon-scarers. 

Tie multiple copies together in a cascading fashion and sell them as mobiles/ windchimes for the backyard. 

Really, there is no end to the usefulness of $arah’s DVD; as anything other than something you’d put in a DVD player.

Bwahahhahhahhhahhaaaaa!  *Deep breath* BwahahhhaaaHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

What an apt punctuation to Palin’s sputtering fifteen minutes.

When you start talking about “modalities,” you’re pretty much screwed right there.

That’s the first thing that caught my eye as well. They keep using the word “modalities” and I don’t think they understand its meaning. Jus’ sayin’.

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