My name is Hock A. Loogie, and I’ll be your server tonight

Via Zandar at Steve M’s joint, we learn about the world’s worst tipper, a Minnesota goober-natorial hopeful named Tom Emmer:

Minnesota state Rep. Tom Emmer, the presumptive Republican nominee for governor, has put forward a new policy for helping the state’s businesses: Lowering the minimum wage for waiters and waitresses, and forcing them to rely more heavily on tips…

Emmer’s proposal would get rid of Minnesota’s law against using that credit, and thus bring the minimum wages for restaurant staff and other gratuity-based workers down to $2.13 per hour plus tips, a reduction of nearly two-thirds. Emmer said this proposal would result in a “level playing field so the employers can continue to exist, survive and thrive.”

That makes sense, because everyone knows it’s the fat cat Waffle House waitresses who are bringing our economy to its knees.

Back when I was attending an elite (football) university learning to become a creative class parasite, I had an honest job slinging hash. I’m not proud of it, but my fellow servers and I had several methods of exacting revenge on obnoxious customers.

I’d advise Emmer and anyone who even remotely looks like him in Minnesota to stick to take-out or home cooking. Forever.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/06/10 at 07:00 AM • Permalink

Categories: Food • Politics • Skull Hampers •

Share this post:

And he’s going to win because the DFL ticket is split between a pathetic lush who was laughed out of national office, a weak, uncharismatic former speaker who got humiliated by the Pawlentyfucker at every turn, an egoist party insider running a vanity campaign, and whoever the stupid indys run as their spoiler.

Have fun laughing at us for four years, everybody!

Comment by middlewest on 07/06/10 at 07:20 AM

There is an entire section of the novel Trainspotting devoted to detailing the revenge of a waitress. If this dude does make it in, he better not plan on eating out if he wants to survive four years.

Comment by Oblomova on 07/06/10 at 09:19 AM

Hello Mr. Emmer, would you like some ground glass - I mean pepper, on your steak?

Christ:

Emmer spent the morning at the Eagle Street Grill in downtown St. Paul, where he said restaurant co-owner Joe Kasel told him three of the restaurant’s servers “take home over $100,000 a year,” including tips.

Assuming this is true, and the servers in question aren’t Mr. Kasel’s relatives, you know what kind of people base policy decisions on a complete FLUKE?

Total. Idiots.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 07/06/10 at 10:10 AM

His proposal reminds me of a “Buy One, Get Two Free” sale. What a gimmick!

Comment by Glix on 07/06/10 at 10:12 AM

Glix, I was thinking more about the old Far Side cartoon where a guy tells a door-to-door salesman “Double my intelligence or NO money back? Sounds good! Sign me up.”

Comment by Oblomova on 07/06/10 at 10:54 AM

I’m sorry to belabor the obvious, but the math teacher inside me needs to exercise his brain and call bullshit on that restaurant owner’s anecdote.

Minnesota’s minimum wage right now is $7.25 an hour. At 40 hours a week, that’s $290 a week, or $15,080 a year. Which leaves tips to make up the $84,920 left (or more than $300 every single day of the year in take-home tips, even after tipping out the bus boys, hostesses, and maitre d’).

To which I say, “Good day to you, sir!!”

Comment by unclemike on 07/06/10 at 11:18 AM

The “$100,000 Waitress” must be the new “Welfare Queen” in the updated Conservatard Encylopedia Mythica.

The cheapness of American restaurant diners and bar patrons is legendary.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 07/06/10 at 11:34 AM

How much did the owner of the diner clear last year?

This anecdote needs more detail, kind of like the terrorist baby plot that Louie Gohmert uncovered.

Comment by Allan on 07/06/10 at 11:48 AM

The American Right will not be satisfied until every menial worker lives in a closet and has no free time or spare money. This, they feel, will make the US great again.