National GOP Leaves Come-from-Behind Coakley Challenger Flapping in the Breeze

You may think you recognize him as any one of the following hunky celebrities:

—Splint Chesthair*
—Slab Squatthrust
—Smash Lampjaw
—Butch Deadlift
—Brick Hardmeat
—Rip Steakface

...but, in fact, he is Scott Brown, the Tea Partiers’ choice to peel off Ted Kennedy’s Massachussetts Senate seat in a long-shot run against fully-clothed Dem candidate Martha Coakley.

Alas, Brown—who was named “America’s Sexiest Man” by Cosmopolitan for his Come-Hither-to-Small Government-and-Vigorous Homeland-Defense 1982 centerfold pose—isn’t feeling much love from national Republican Party funding groups, who’ve apparently already bagged on the ‘Bagger.

We may lose Nelson, but Coakley still looks good here. Will Sarah save Scotty Hollywood, or will he learn to embrace the simple joys of flannel shirts, crackling log fires and long walks in the Political Wilderness?

(*Thanks to the MST3K Space Mutiny funny name compilation link. Also, the Wiki page that explains the gag.)

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 12/30/09 at 07:21 PM • Permalink

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsElection '10NuttersPolisnark

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clearly, he lacks standing.

Bolt Upright.

Dash Riprock.

I can’t decide which is funnier; the teabagger chastely covering his sack or the idea this meh-looking schlub would be sexiest man of any year. Ever. Including some theoretical year in which every man on the planet except Brock Gonad there dies.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I would totally have sexxxytime with the 1982 wingnut.

Dirk Hardpeck!
Fridge Largemeat!
Buff Drinklots!
Thick McRunfast!
Bob Johnson! Oh, wait…

I would totally have sexxxytime with the 1982 wingnut

Yep, he’s HillBuzzalicious!

Hmmph! Tad Baggerly can keep his veneers.

I prefer the romantic stylings of this iron-jawed Lothario, thank you VERY much.

He’s got my vote! Nothing sexier than a guy with a full head… of hair.

Btw, his daughter was on “American Idol” a few seasons ago and almost made it into the top 12. (She was no. 13—and a full basketball scholarship to Boston College.)

Richard Johnson. I actually know a guy by this name. I hire him to do odd jobs around the house. You can’t make this stuff up. Cheers and Happy New Year all.

btw: can anyone think of the odd jobs i hire him to do around the house. like maybe:

replacing the lug nuts that hold up my deck ;-)

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