Neglected Child Seeks Love, Attention from Pair of Shoes

My Dad used to leave me in the car while he shot the shit with guys who owned gas stations, so I know the drill. My inanimate friend was a fuel-pump named “Mr. Squeaky.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/30/11 at 08:00 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

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Poor Piper hasn’t her mother’s gift for dissembling. Must be a throwback to an ancient non-grifting ancestor, or she inherited a recessive gene or something.

At least she didn’t have to hold her mother’s red peep-toe pumps. Those babies are about as soft and maternal as Hell Mom Dullard herself.

It’s nice, though, that they don’t want to disrupt other people’s quiet enjoyment of national historical landmarks with their giant, star-spangled bus, strategic Twitter leaks and orchestrated game of media-tag. Just regular tourists, trying like hell to fit in and be anonymous.

Indeed Strange,when walking among the ghosts of Gettysburg, how better to recall the bravery of men like Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, the college professor who held Little Round Top, than by hearing the bugle blast of Little Soundbite martialing her separatist hubby as they hold their press conference in the parking lot.

The whole thing is pathetic and, by this time, second rate.  If she doesn’t get a professional marketing staff in soon she is going to majorly lose her appeal.  This “mom with an upswept hairdo” thing—imagine if Michelle Obama were going around looking like that? The right wing press lambasted Sasha and Malia for wearing a mere t-shirt in public, and for having hair that wasn’t as white as white people’s.  I know its all OK if you are a Republican but at a certain point Palin’s dress down shtick isn’t going to go over well even with her own fans. They are going to want her to look presidential or, at least, like the Fox simulacra of women they are used to.  She’d better get back in those fuck me pumps and those 10,000 dollar fitted dresses but pronto.**

** Having said that I agree with SteveM’s very prescient post on this being a spite tour. When all you have is ressentiment, well, you resent everything, even or especially the coverage you are getting. Palin is not going to be able to resist treating each press opportunity as a moment to express her rage and spite against “the press” generally. She’s not going to put herself out to make any friends and that is going to affect her local coverage.

aimai

I can’t wait to read Piper’s memoir, ‘My Life As A Human Shield’.

And of course no one sees the irony of Palin complaining about the lamestream media covering her carefully choreographed bus tour.

The Twitter hashtag #PalinTourBusName has been rocking for days now. Lots of great ones by others, most notably @Shoq’s

Driving Miss Crazy

but I’m proud of a few of my contributions, to wit:

Lipstick on a Dipstick

Free Jared Loughner!

Slouching Towards Bethlehem, PA

Wrapped in a Flag and Carrying a Cross

Those are great, Allan. JUST AS GREAT AS WHEN *I* INVENTED “AMERICA’S BACK-SEAT DRIVER.”

I am aware of your Twitter campaign to boost Betty Cracker at my expense, oh yes I am.

Betty did, however, come up with the kick-ass rear-view mirror graphic, which she should trademark and retire on, because it’s sooo fucking great. ;->

Well, my dad used to leave me in the car and take my invisible friend with him so I didn’t have anyone to talk to. Best regards to “Mr. Squeaky.”

Your dad left you in the car when you were 7 and kept on going.

My sincere apologies, Strange. I was under the impression that that was one of Betty’s, probably due to the excellent graphic.

@Allan—Just jagging you. Betty’s graphic really made the concept stick, plus she’s tons better than I am all the way around, so she deserves all the praise you can give her.

PS: “Slouching Towards Bethlem, PA” is my personal fave, as a Pittsburgher and a big fan of Yeats.

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